


Stay, Stay

by corpse_wife



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Cinnamon Roll but can actually kill you Rey, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-TRoS, Prompt Fic, Protective Rey, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Sexual Tension, Soft Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:47:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 57,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corpse_wife/pseuds/corpse_wife
Summary: Prompt Fic: where Ben carries an unconscious Rey and upon arrival at the base, is confronted by the entire Resistance.“Touch him and I’ll kill you.” Rey threatens.No one makes a move.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 252
Kudos: 532
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!  
> Just started a new fic wooh!!💖💖💖Though, this is going to be a short one, I just wanted to have my own fix-it take when I read the prompt on twitter about this!! 
> 
> Let me know what you think. This is simply a prologue of what is yet to come😳💕💕

Battered and wounded, Ben Solo is confronted at the sight of an unconscious Rey when he wakes up after the battle has long been over. 

The Emperor is dead and by the grace of the Force, Rey isn’t, though her pulse is faint and her presence through the bond is dimming by the second.Time is running for the conscious other half of the dyad, and against all odds of having broken ribs himself and a badly sprained ankle, he recollects his bearings, ignoring the pain shooting at his nerves like tiny needles and navigating his exhausted body to move, one foot after the other. 

With newfound determination, Ben does everything in his power to return to the rebel base and get help, even if he has to pay for his own life for a second time. 

* * *

Ben has taken a random TIE fighter which he can only hope has a hyperdrive to get them to the rebel base. The ship was lying around the desolate ground of Exegol. He would have preferred his TIE fighter that he got from his own starship, but seeing the rubble of devastation surrounding him, he cannot be particularly picky at the moment. 

They were sort of lucky to even have a ride with a functioning navicom and engine. 

Flooded with relief, he punches the coordinates in before taking a pained glance at the unconscious woman he carefully strapped to the co-pilot’s seat. 

He navigates their way out of the planet, breaking out the atmosphere. Through the power of the Force and muscle memory, piloting came easy and natural for Ben. He had a few tricks up his sleeve he got from his father when he used to watch him maneuver the Falcon as an adoring child. 

A sharp stab to his chest knocks his breath away, a son longing for another day with his dad.

No. Not now. As much as he missed and yearns to talk to Han once more, now isn’t the right time to be remorseful. He can repent for his sins later, _after_ he gets help for Rey. 

Looking back at her now, fresh new tears stream down his long face. Rey is in a far worse condition than he is, he refused to imagine how much of her strength it took to defeat the Emperor. At some point during his ascend from the cliff, he couldn’t even feel her through the bond, she flatlined and presumed to be dead. 

He can’t let that happen for real. 

“Stay with me,” Ben whispers, voice breaking. He hasn’t heard himself tremble in quite some time. The recent half of his life, he was trained not to show his fears, hide behind a mask of stoicism and indifference to avoid punishment from Snoke. 

But right now, he has never been more afraid of anything in his whole life. He could never forgive himself if he lost Rey just because he couldn’t get there fast enough. 

“Stay, stay,” Ben tried to send a wave of reassurance through their bond. Usually, he’d know when she has acknowledged him. He could only hope that he was able to reach out to her distant essence. 

The return trip from Exegol to Ajan Kloss was taking even longer than anticipated. It should have been quicker, of course; Ben had already plotted the hyperspace routes that would lead him back away from the Unknown Regions. 

By the time they arrived at the jungle moon, Ben quickly intercepted the channel of the base to ask for permission to enter without harm. After all, a starship of the enemy will obviously pose as a threat and they wouldn’t hesitate to fire at them. 

“Um, hello, please don’t shoot. I have Rey with me and we need help.” 

There’s a long pause too long that passed, much to Ben’s slimming patience. He tries again. 

“Please. She’s badly hurt and unconscious. We don’t have much time!” It was actually taking everything in him to just break into atmosphere, permission or not. 

But finally, he received a response back. 

“Who’s this?” Ben is quick to recognize the wary voice from the comm. 

“It doesn’t fucking matter, Dameron! Set up a med bay for Rey, this is urgent!” 

After a short while, he gets another response. More favorable this time. 

“You’re in the clear to enter. We’re ready to receive you.” Just as Poe informed, Ben is given specific coordinates, which he assumes where the landing bays are located. 

Releasing an exasperated sigh, he breaches the atmosphere. As they were gaining speed, with the hull of the ship blazing heatedly, Ben clenched his teeth tightly, almost as if he’d chip them. Because to his right, Rey’s life force is almost nonexistent. It was like sensing a flickering flame submerged underwater. 

Ben was helpless with his hands preoccupied with the console as they keep dropping from the sky. 

Eventually, he sees the landing bays stationed on a wide clearing of the forest. He tried to smooth his way with the stilts, but the landing was rough and shaky, at best. ‘ _Alive is better than dead._ ’ Ben told himself before unfastening the co-pilot’s seat, grabbing the woman, and hurriedly exiting the ship. 

Fresh air filled his lungs, a polar opposite of the densely, barely breathable, chilling air in Exegol. Healthy loam sunk beneath his battered boots. His senses were overwhelmed by being surrounded with a rich, life-thriving environment. Ironically enough while holding the woman barely keeping herself together. 

Ben was going to look for a rebel group that could help him, knowing eventually, he’d find one. However, he didn’t have to look very far, when Poe, accompanied by FN-2187 and three other girls, reaches him just in time. 

Never was he relieved to see them until this very moment. Their reactions were a process. He watched the fast transition between shock, followed by apprehension, before settling with anger. They were already hovering over their blasters. Ben is outnumbered and physically exhausted.

He shakes his head in protest, he didn’t come here to fight. 

“Please,” He doesn’t really care what they do to him. “Take Rey to a medical bay. I don’t think I can hold on for the both of us much longer.” 

At any given rate, Ben could pass out. He has been sustaining himself and Rey for days out in empty space. The Force may be eternal, but his body to reach out, isn’t. 

When he acknowledged their friend, they acted out in unison, pointing their blasters at him. 

“What did you do to her?” 

Poe’s accusation isn’t lost to Ben. He works his jaw back and forth, offended that the flyboy would even consider that he could ever hurt Rey, frustrated that no one’s making a move to help him. If he was any stronger...

“We don’t have time for this! We’re losing Rey!” Though what he really wanted to say is, ‘ _I’m losing her_ ,’ as he glared at them. “Unless you want to do something about it, then I suggest you lower your fucking blasters and take her to the med bay!” 

“Watch it, Supreme Leader! You’re in our territory,” 

“Poe,” It was the former stormtrooper who tried to speak with an imploring tone, and yet, the pilot wouldn’t have it. 

“You’ve got some nerve coming here.” Poe spat with a surprising amount of venom. 

Ben has been trained about patience from both the light and the dark side of the Force, but with every passing second, he was running out of it. There are many ways to disarm them, he could knock out their weapons with a flick of his finger, but he fears that dedicating, even a small ounce of his concentration could affect Rey. He’s not taking any chances. 

“Med droids are on their way,” Poe finally informed him. “When we take Rey from you, you put your hands over your head and drop to your knees. You got that?” 

Ben nods his head in understanding. That’s a nice way of putting it lightly, he supposed. 

Who’s to say that they won’t kill him the moment he doesn’t have Rey to shield him? Ben knew that they would, he was worthy of death as the consequence of his actions. He accepted his fate the moment he punched in the coordinates of the base. It’s only a matter of minutes before his body is engulfed with blaster shots. 

“You will do no such thing,” A weak voice suddenly interrupted. 

Ben gasped, his eyes snapping to the girl in his arms as she tried to wriggle free from his hold. How did he not sense that she was conscious when her presence is still essentially the same? 

Then he realized what she was doing. His eyes widened, completely horrified. 

“Rey, the effort could kill you. Stop this!”

And yet, despite the warning, she deliberately ignores him and faces ahead, glaring at the rest while her head lolled over to his chest snugly. 

“Make one wrong move... Touch him and I’ll kill you.” Rey threatens with a ferocity no one could imagine she would say to her friends. 

At that, the small crowd grows silent. 

No one makes a move. 


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben’s fate is slightly decided and Rey wakes up demanding about her other half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting how positive the response was for this fic!!😳😳Seriously, I’m in awe and truly inspired that I had to write more and more because I can see this fic coming together nicely💖💖
> 
> Keep giving your feedback, if you’d like. I’m really excited to introduce Redeemed Ben Solo!! Because there’s going to be lots of it the following updates😢💖💖💖💖

The last thing Ben and the rest of the rebels expected was a threat from Rey. Good-hearted, sweet, beloved, Rey. Surely, their loyal friend wouldn’t turn against them to side over their common enemy, won’t she?

And yet, the resident of Jakku has never been more serious, her features twisted into a feral snarl. The bared teeth and sharp, feline-like eyes reminded him of a wild boar-wolf’s during a great hunt. It comes as a surprise to him that for once in their handful encounters, the look is not directed at him, but to the rapidly growing crowd engulfing them in a semi-circle. 

It’s a difficult concept to wrap their heads around with. Hence, the silence. 

“One wrong move.” She reminded in a soft undertone, knowing that she’d only collapse as an unconscious body in Ben’s arms once more, five seconds later. 

With Rey out like a light, all that threatening were as good as nothing. Because as soon as the med droids arrived, Ben surrendered her without a fight, laying her outstretched on a hoverbed to get her treated.

Ben watches Rey until she’s out of sight. 

And that seems to be the cue for the chaos to start. 

* * *

“Murderer!” 

“Fascist scum!” 

“You killed Han!” 

“You shouldn’t be alive!”

“Kill him!” 

There were far worse names and far worse words he endured in the past. But that didn’t mean this didn’t hurt, as well as open old wounds and battle scars. He pillaged villages under Snoke’s command, tortured innocents for information, and displayed fits of anger that usually resulted to the destruction of everything around him. Those weren’t things of the past in the spiteful and resentful gazes surrounding him. They were a direct result of pain and suffering, they didn’t have to say it, but he knows that the worst of it all is him not being aware of the crimes he committed against _each_ individual before him. 

He probably caused the death of their loved ones, slaughtered them himself or by mere association. Either way, there were countless losses because of him. 

Maybe that’s why Ben started to move. Everyone was anticipating violence with the defensive stance that they were collectively taking, but all he did was drop on his knees, putting his hands behind his head as non-threatening as possible, and going against Rey’s words. 

She deserves to live in a world where she doesn’t bear the burden of his sins. He leaves his fate in the hands of his former enemies. 

“Do what you must,” Ben told Poe, raising his head high. 

The shock is evident on the pilot’s face before asserting control. Just as what the rest of the rebels done for Ben, they anticipated their commander’s move as he staggered forward, his hardened gaze not wavering from his face. 

The tension around Ben was palpable. He felt how everyone held their breaths as Poe recollected his blaster, the click of the safety lock has never been so loud in a silenced forest before, even the air is static, as if awaiting for the impending doom to end before being driven into a current. 

Ben stared through the barrel whether as a sign of courage or cowardice, he really couldn’t tell the difference, and seconds away from getting shot at, thoughts dwell on anything Rey; her eyes. Her nose. Her lips. Her face. The strength she holds. The courage. The loyalty. Everything he admires for that woman. 

A stray tear slips. 

They seemed to wait there forever, the world moving in slow motion as Ben surrendered himself fully to the power of the Force. It flowed through him, stronger than he had felt it before. 

Ben had never felt more at peace than he did in that moment. The instant the blaster sound was heard, he didn’t even flinch. 

But Poe dropped his blaster to the ground and he’s not dead yet. 

Deciding to look where the blaster shot landed, he was a little flabbergasted to discover that the pilot killed a Netcaster peering behind Ben’s shoulder. It’s spindly legs twitching as an attempt to wrestle its death. The spider’s venom would have sucked as a way to die, Ben inwardly chided as an afterthought. 

“Get up,” Poe commanded. 

“What?” He meant to ask why he wasn’t dead yet.

“We’re keeping you in custody until we figure out what to do with you.” Poe declared, as if he was forced to, through gritted teeth. 

While FN-2187 cuffed him, the crowd slowly realized the injustice with sour reactions. They built up the courage to start hollering profanities at them, even going as far as throwing anything at the unwanted prisoner as he is being taken away. 

But then another blaster shot stops the crowd from escalating, as did Poe and Ben. 

“For some reason that Rey doesn’t want him dead yet, he has a lot of explaining to do,” said a short woman in beige clothes before her gaze landed on Ben’s torso. “It seems like even the Supreme Leader needs help. Get him to the med bay before he bleeds himself to death.” 

At that, she walks ahead of them with her blaster still tipped high in the air. Ben mentally noted not to cross the austere woman. 

The crowd dispersed angrily, but they finally left them alone as they resumed their walk uninterrupted. 

They may not like it, but they don’t like disrespecting Rey’s wish even more. 

* * *

Rey woke up with a start. 

Sitting up abruptly with a gasp as she clutched at her hammering chest. She looks around in panic, expecting to still be on the cold, hard ground of Exegol, but only to quickly realize, much to her relief, that she’s resting in a small med bay with Rose tending to her with comforting calmness. 

“You need to rest,” Rose says while slowly lowering her back on the bed, tucking the starchy sheets back on her body. 

Rey would have made a snide comment about being treated like a youngling but great pain shot through her body no matter how minimal her movements were. 

Eventually, she did manage to rest flat on her back as she tried to get her bearings straight. 

“My head hurts. What happened?” 

After being forced out of exhaustion, bits and pieces were difficult to recall. 

Rose slumped back on the chair pulled up beside the bed, sighing loudly before clutching her friend’s hand.

“You’ve been through a lot, Rey. We all thought you didn’t make it.” Rose was on the verge of tears when Rey was reminded of the battle in Exegol. 

Rose was right though. Even Rey thought that she wouldn’t have survived. 

She wouldn’t have survived at all weren’t it for Ben. 

Ben! 

He took them here. He’s the main reason why she’s still alive for the second time. Rey could faintly remember his hands supporting her body, the angry crowd and her equally angry friends regarding Ben as some... Monster. She told them to back off before her lasting image was his face, youthful and calm. 

He’s alive! 

“Ben! Where is he? Where did you take him?” 

Rey sat up again, this time, pulling her legs on the side of the bed as she tried to remove every tube and needle attached to her body. 

“Rey! You still have to rest! The med droid said your wounds are still fresh and your stitches might–“ 

A flash of anger startles Rose. 

“I told you not to touch him! Take me to him.” Rey just about yelled, unable to keep herself grounded at the moment, restless for not asking about Ben first. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rey.” 

“Fine!” Rey started to move, wobbly at first, but immediately catching herself on a weak limp. “I’ll find him myself.” 

With that, she left the room and Rey is thankful that her friend hadn’t followed her. The last thing she wants is to wrestle her off her back while she’s probing the Force outwards for any sign of Ben. 

Eventually, she felt him somewhere around her. 

The med bay is a busy place. With a lot of people still in recovery, the med droids operated at a twenty four hour basis. Beds were filled and supplies were running low, but Rey figured the bed she was on was deserving for others to use. 

She’s okay now. Despite being in pain, she’s still alive. 

Rey could only hope that the same can be said about Ben. She recalls how the Emperor threw him down a riff, which seemed to look like an endless void. It jarred her at the time how powerful Palpatine was when he could throw someone as strong in the Force and trained as a Jedi like Ben without fail. 

“Rey?” 

She snapped out of her spiraling thoughts to see Finn and Poe meeting her halfway. 

“You’re discharged already?” Finn remarked her warily. “Could have sworn the med droid told us that you need another week to fully recover.” 

However, she deliberately ignores her friend’s concern and disapproval in favor of Ben’s location. 

“Where is he? Where did you take him?” She must sound hysterical, grabbing the attention of passerby’s, but she didn’t care. All that mattered was Ben’s well-being. 

“Rey,” 

“No, Poe. I’m not going anywhere until you take me to him.” Perhaps her recovery state is tampering with her ability to locate Ben through the Force. It should be easy, given that she’s almost familiar with his signature as if it was her own. 

And yet, he’s almost too distant. 

She fears that her bond with him was severed from the battle, like an extension of herself being cut off. So, she can’t afford to have no for an answer, and Poe knows this as he works his jaw back and forth. 

In the end, despite two against one, they take the lead to the opposite direction of where she originally came from. 

“I know you might feel like I’m betraying you,” She started after a moment of inescapable silence. “I’ll explain everything later. But right now, I need to see him.” 

It’s Finn who has taken the initiative to speak for the both of them, rounding a narrow hallway that lead to an open courtyard. 

“We have a reason to believe that you know what you’re doing. But you can’t blame us for worrying about you.” Finn sighs, the concern in his voice lacing together with care. 

“Seeing you unconscious with the Supreme Leader of all people, of course, we’d assume the worst,” Poe stated as a matter of fact while Rey tried her earnest not to roll her eyes. After all, they hadn’t killed Ben yet. 

“He’s under our custody. We’re putting him on probation before we can figure out what to do with him,” Before Rey could protest, Poe wags a finger at her and quickly adds, “Don’t think he’s going to stay here unscathed.” 

Whatever counter argument she had prepared died quickly, knowing that she can’t push her luck with Poe. She had just threatened everyone in favor of protecting Ben and the tension between the three of them is thick. She’ll had to agree to their terms, for now. 

With a huff, the pair has finally left her alone, in front of two sealed durasteel doors accessible by identity imprints. Since the room seems to be isolated from the rowdiness of the common med bay, there was no need to alternate the accessibility of the room. By default, anyone from the Resistance encoded in the databank could enter. 

As the doors whirred in a hiss, Rey entered with purpose. 

There, she immediately sees him before he sees her. 

Lying flatly on his back with similar tubes and needles attached to his naked torso, lay Ben in deep rest. His chest moved steadily with her own breathing, his vitals seem to be normal, but that doesn’t explain his weak link to the Force. 

“Rey?” 

She snaps her head at the croaky response. 

Somehow, Ben is awoken when she went beside him, as if his subconscious anticipated her presence. Rey just about gasps loudly once he opened his eyes to reveal a softness in his gaze when he sees her back. 

“Ben!” Abandoning all her impatience, she lunged herself at him while still being mindful of his tender wounds. 

“Maker, you’re okay,” She whispered with reverence, her head on his chest. “You’re okay...”

She immediately feels his arms wrapping around her in response, lips brushing against her hair as he pulled her as close as he can manage. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Rey.” Her eyes watered at his words, intense emotions of relief and longing crashing at her in waves. 

As if she still can’t believe that they’re reunited and she could smell his scent, feel his warmth and see his form, Rey squeezed him gently before pulling back and cradling his face between her hands. 

“I thought I lost you, I-I thought–“ 

“Shhh...” He gently shushes her, she was on the verge of throwing cushion to the wind and letting the tears fall. “You won’t lose me. I was more afraid that I’d lose you.” 

“Ben,” 

“It’s true. I couldn’t feel you through the bond for a moment. You were dead.” He chokes up a little before clearing his throat to resume, desperate to let her know. “I-I had to do something.” 

“And you did. You saved my life,” She attempted to retcon, there was no need for him to relieve what they both almost lost and sacrificed. “Ben... How did you even manage to climb back up? That was a really high drop.” 

There’s a hint of disbelief in her tone, pitching higher because despite that, he had no limbs too broken to have to be cut off. No fatal force to the head to inflict amnesia. It’s a true testament of miracle how he’s still alive. 

However, Ben decided otherwise. Humming as if in thought, before giving her a brief answer. 

“Well, there’s this little trick I learned from Snoke’s training,” Rey tried hard not to flinch at the name of his former Master. “As part of my training, he would push me down a high drop so that I could learn how to use the Force to stop the fall.” 

He spoke so softly that he almost masked the morbid imagery of a youthful Ben Solo having to endure so much pain. But Rey’s heart already broke in two. No wonder he was always so stoic and indifferent as Kylo Ren. He was trained to withstand any emotional reaction. 

“That’s terrible.” exclaimed Rey, equally as soft, afraid to break the serene bubble they were wrapped in. 

“Oh, it was the worst.” Ben retorted with the first hint of his true personality shining brightly through his chuckles, showing a side of him that Rey is utterly drawn to. 

Ben’s a mess as he is handsome. Even like this, hooked through numerous machines, sweaty with greasy hair, Rey finds herself caught off guard by him wholly. 

The way he holds her is gentle, as if he’s nursing something so precious and fragile. His lips ghosting on her forehead makes her wonder at the feel of them, only broken for a moment when he regards her with a warmth that she didn’t know Ben Solo possessed and she happens to find that she likes it, likes him. 

This, Ben. Who doesn’t hold himself back from wearing his heart on his sleeve, for not putting his guards up when it was just them. She could see him so clearly, so filled with light and hope. 

Only one thought came to mind. 

Ben is definitely Leia’s son with Han’s tongue. 


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey shares an intimate moment. Finn and Poe try to get answers from their prisoner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> I was so delighted to receive such positivity from the previous chapter that I had to make up for it in this update!💖💖💖I’m really excited to where this is headed, especially for the next update after this one!! It’s already on the works👏🏻
> 
> Also don’t worry. Ben just needs to warm up to Poe (he won’t be an asshole the entire time, just trust me ahaha😹😹😹)
> 
> So please continue to send me feedback. It really helps me understand what you’re excited about and how to keep it that way!
> 
> See you soon!

“Come here.” Ben patted on the unoccupied space of the bed with the eagerness of a child, scooting over to give more room, but even Rey is wary at the offer. 

“While the sun’s still out, sweetheart,” The endearment just slipped, but it did more than enough to see Rey grow a bit flustered. 

Ben raises a brow at this.

“Would I fit?” 

He’ll have to put a pin on it for now.

He regarded her spot with a sniff, but the obvious answer is no. The bed is not meant to fit two people, lest of all, to accommodate Ben’s size. It was all the more reason to have Rey near. 

“We’ll make it work.” He just wanted her closer. 

Whatever defenses and mental argument she had with herself is abandoned as she closed the distance between them. 

Ben laid on his back while Rey cushioned her head on his chest, their legs tangled together. She’s practically halfway on top of him. The warmth that surrounded them is shared from their own, familiar by themselves, but tender together. 

It’s the most in peace Ben has ever felt his entire life. 

“You’re not being sly, Rey. But the answer is yes. I‘d really like for you to kiss me too.” 

“Get out of my head.” She says with a slap on his chest, only for Ben to lean back and marvel at her blushing sight, grinning slightly. 

“Don’t get shy on me now,” 

Rey tried to slap him again, but he had caught her wrist, pulling her hand closely over his hammering chest. 

“Why you–“

Ben takes matters into his own hands. Without hesitation, he pressed their lips together, softly at first, on a mission to kiss the agitation out of her. With a tiny squeak, she melts right away, sighing into their joint lips, he angles his face for a deeper kiss. 

He’s so soft with his mouth. 

She tasted like sunshine. 

They could spend the better half of their day just kissing the other. Ben thought he wouldn’t mind bed rest if it means he could explore and be acquainted with her lips, because she’s so hot and soft at the same time, it makes his blood boil. He never thought that kissing would be something he’s starting to obsess about when he had only kissed one girl before Rey as a bumbling teenager. On the other hand, one of them has to pull away and resurface for air before they die from asphyxiation. 

The voice of reason happens to be Rey. She lingers for a brief second before reluctantly separating. Resting her forehead against his, she cradles his face as they both catch their breaths. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do that,” He tells her earnestly while she shyly lowers her gaze and blushes pretty. 

He has always been forward as Kylo Ren, fearless of confrontation and would rather prefer to take immediate action at the lengths of his motivations. But he’s completely different as Ben. He’s still very forward, though he feels too much intensely at the same time. 

Even now, Ben’s reflection of all these warm and fuzzy emotions could be felt through their bond without building walls around it. 

She laughs at him nervously before planting a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

“I have some idea.” 

“You missed.” He says in a dramatic pout, former Supreme Leader of First Order, displeased for not getting his kiss, all while trying to initiate another as Rey pushes his face with her hand.

“Enough of that. You need to rest.” Rey scolded. After all, he’s still hooked to various tubes and machines, and the last thing they both need is a med droid interrupting their moment because Ben isn’t mindful of the things attached to him sustaining his life. 

“If I need to rest, then you should rest too.” He counters, voice muffled from the palm of her hand. “Maker knows how much we both deserve this.” 

Rey nods her head, more than happy to stay with him a bit longer. He’s so perfectly warm and solid around her, the combination is a sure way to put her to sleep. 

But first, “I have to go to the refresher.” 

Ben whines like a man child that he is. “Now?” 

She rolls her eyes, who knew that he’d be so clingy. “Yes, now. Unless you want me to piss my pants right here on your bed.” 

He keeps a straight face without saying a word, but it did enough to put a sour expression on her face. 

“Ew, Ben. You’re gross,” She pushes his face on the pillows while he guffaws in a belly laugh. His real laugh and real smile. She can’t help the corners of her lips from twitching up just like she did back in Exegol. 

“I was kidding.” He relents after he reduces into a fit of snickering instead.

“They placed me in a room with my own refresher. That door, there.” He points at the sealed panel on his right, beside another that might be his one-by-one closet. All single bedrooms like this had one by standard. 

Finally extracting herself from Ben’s clinging arms, she plants another kiss on his other cheek. 

“You missed again.” 

She laughs at his comment before standing up straight. “Stay right there. I won’t be long.” 

“No place I’d rather be, sweetheart.” 

When she finally sealed herself from Ben, she lets out a shaky exhale. 

This is intense, the way she feels around him. It’s equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. Rey is certain that she never felt something like this with anyone. No one has ever made her feel so womanly before, with that goofy grin splitting her face in half at the reflection on the mirror. 

She can’t help it. He makes her want more, get more, give more. The scavenger side in her is determined to discover every square surface of Ben Solo. She’s only seen the tip of the iceberg, but she’s eager to find more and more of him in every possible way. 

“Pull yourself together,” She chided at herself as she splashed cold water on her burning face. 

After relieving herself in the refresher, Rey finds herself staring at a sleeping Ben. He’s facing the door, resting on his side, lightly snoring behind shaky eyelids. 

He was waiting for her to come out. The knowledge tugged at her heart as she quietly returned to her spot, careful not to wake him up. 

Ben has never looked so youthful than he does right now. He looks at peace. Not brooding with the matching permanent scowl to go with his dark ensemble. The scar that she bisected using his own lightsaber is mysteriously gone too, how metaphorical it was to have healed and bring Ben Solo back to the light. 

And he’s so, so beautiful basking in it. 

Rey scooted close to him until she can feel his breath brushing against her face. It’s another careful maneuver from here, because she really wants to hold his hand and steal more kisses from him. 

“Thank you for saving my life, Ben.” She whispers as she tucks stray locks of his hair behind his ear before taking one of his hands resting between them. 

She knows he probably wouldn’t like her offering him such words of gratitude. In his sleep is probably the only time she gets to do it. Besides, she had more to say to him this way. 

“I’m not just talking about Exegol... You’ve helped me discover what I’ve been searching for my whole life. You’re my home.” She trails off. 

Rey knows she doesn’t usually get sentimental like this. Back in Jakku, showing your vulnerable side could be used against you. But alone like this, with scattered thoughts formed with awkward words, she just wants to get some of it out there before it got too big to handle. 

She leans close to the shell of his ear, words she has never said to anyone before brushing against his skin. 

“I love you, Ben. And I’ll never stop loving you.”

Ben only stirs a little to bump his foot on the corner post, but otherwise, he remains undisturbed, in tune with the world. 

Meanwhile, she admires him for a few more seconds before kissing his temple and finally allowing sleep to overtake her too. 

* * *

Ben opened his eyes as if waking up for the first time from a hazy dream. It has gone dark and the stars draped languidly in the night sky. Still disoriented, he waited for his vision to adjust, picking apart lines and shapes until he sees that he’s looking up at the metallic ceiling of his room, an isolated extension of the med bay. 

“Fuck, my head hurts,” Although it’s probably a side effect from the liquids being pumped in his system. 

Alive is better than dead, is what he keeps telling himself. 

He sits up and turns over his side, only to be left disappointed because the bed is empty. Rey had already left. 

Upon this realization, he does not take it kindly. He hurriedly slid his legs to the side, eager to get out of the room. 

“Rey?” He calls out, even though, he already probed with the Force that she’s not anywhere near him. “Rey!” 

Receiving silence as a response now, Ben acted on impulse as he tried to pull everything that is attached to him in one swift move. 

“What the kriff are these tubes made of, durasteel?!” He just about shouts when the tubes won’t even budge. 

This can’t be happening. He hates that he is apart from Rey. He hates that the room is too dark that he couldn’t even tell where the door is. He hates that he’s still physically weak to do anything, even using the Force to keep him upright for too long is hard labor. What is it with everything going against him in just a few kriffing hours? He thought that he’d wake up with Rey still in his arms, he hadn’t entertained the possibility that he’d be left alone. 

“Alright, Ben. Calm down.” Taking a deep breath, he tries to expel his growing agitation outwards using basic meditation exercises he learned from Luke. 

To no avail, he is still immensely on edge. 

Also quite literally, because he tips backwards with shaky knees and stumble back on the bed, “Mmp, fuck!” is all he could exclaim when his hands had nothing to grapple on. 

Back to staring at the ceiling, he frowns at the direction of the doors. 

Okay, he was better than this. Acting like a kid won’t help him get to Rey. 

Think. Think. 

* * *

“How long do you think Rey needs to see him? It’s been nine hours.” Poe mentioned with impatience clipping the edge of his voice. 

Finn fell on step beside the General. His agitation weren’t exactly misplaced. Both men assumed that an hour would suffice as a visit upon Rey’s demands to see the Supreme Leader. 

Well, Finn can’t really envision their prisoner as the Supreme Leader anymore, the same way he doesn’t see himself as a former Stormtrooper. He hasn’t spoken to Poe about it yet, but there were times where he could sense the dark aura the Supreme Leader naturally possessed every time his dreaded presence drew near. 

However, when Ren arrived at the base, Finn wasn’t disturbed at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He was dawned with a serenity that he had only felt... Since meeting the late Supreme Commander. 

The return of Leia’s son. 

It’s indisputable. 

“Finn,” He jerked back at the hand waving in front of his face. “Were you listening? I was asking about what your thoughts are about Ren being here, but your mind was elsewhere. Cat got your tongue?” 

Shaking his head more present in reality, Finn answers. 

“Whatever you think is best, General.”

Poe frowns in disapproval at the monotonous response. Abruptly halting his steps, he turns to face Finn. 

“Finn, it’s just us here. You don’t have to pretend that you approve for my sake.” 

Finn avoided meeting Poe’s attentive gaze in case he gave something away. 

“I just think that... There’s something we’re not seeing here. Something that probably only Rey could understand.” 

”Is it like those times when you keep having a feeling on something? Do we have to trust your gut on this too?” Poe argued with more tenacity. 

Finn kept himself quiet about that. This is exactly why he refused to give input during a closed meeting with the rest of the Generals. They wouldn’t understand his... Senses, and they would dismiss it.

He goes for the more logical approach. With a deep breath, he explains himself as calmly as possible. 

“We both saw him stop a blaster shot in mid-air. What do you think was stopping him from doing the same when he arrived?” 

“He was very weak. We could have taken him down.” 

“Do you really believe that? You believe that he wouldn’t be able to disarm us or even point our own blasters at us?” Finn paused to get his point across more firmly, a lesson he learned from Han, himself. 

“Ren surrendered, Poe. That’s something big to think about–“ 

Their escalating back and forth abruptly stops at the loud crashing noise coming from Ren’s room. 

At the intrusion, they quickly set aside their differences to inspect the noise. 

* * *

A second attempt to stand up was a terrible idea. 

It can’t be helped. After a while of staring uselessly at the ceiling, a day’s worth of a full bladder got the best of him. There was no med droid available to assist him and he really needed to go. 

Ben was set on his new goal to cross the distance between the bed and the refresher. It was anything but easy, however, he is very determined. 

It was going good when he propped himself on his elbows, pushing up. He was going great when he caught his weight leaning against the wall. Hitting one bird with one stone when he accidentally bumped against the switches that illuminated the room, but two steps in, and he miscalculated the tubes and machines still hooked to him. So, he couldn’t react fast enough when he crashed on one of them with a surprised yelp, and like an unfortunate domino effect, the others that read his vitals went down with him. 

Suddenly, there’s a mess of fluctuating screens, aluminum coverings and metallic bulks scattered all over one side of the room and Ben was at the center of it. 

And much to Ben’s horror and heavy disappointment, the doors whirred open to reveal the pilot and FN-2187.

Like a smuggler caught in a crime scene, all Ben could do is regard his unexpected guests with a sheepish smile. 

But Poe isn’t having it. 

“What the hell happened here? And where’s Rey?” 

Okay. Ben was just going to ignore the rude tone and explain himself briefly. 

“A trip to the refresher gone terribly wrong,” But more importantly, “What do you mean where’s Rey? You tell me.” 

Poe doesn’t take his sardonic retort kindly. He was doing this, as what has been settled with the other Generals and no matter how Finn is in the opposition. 

He looks down at Ren, who’s crouching against the side of an adjusting table meant to accommodate the patient’s meals. 

“Sounds to me that you’re ready to answer some questions, Ren.” 

“I can’t answer with a full bladder, General.” The title isn’t spoken in high respects. The three of them, knew that much. 

They probably would have stayed there staring at each other for an eternity when it came to that, weren’t it for the two med droids rushing to interrupt the commotion. One of them was reprimanding Ben for breaking the machines as it fixes the mess, while the other already knew what he needed help for. 

While Ben was assisted to the refresher, Finn waited until they were out of earshot before turning to Poe and shooting him a dirty look. 

“What?” 

“Do you think provoking the former Supreme Leader is a good idea?” 

“Former?” Poe stares at Finn incredulously, before blinking rapidly as if to clear away the haze. “I’m sorry, are you with Rey on this? You’re defending a mass murderer now? That’s helpful.” 

Finn’s nostrils flares. He does not appreciate the sarcasm in a situation where they should be meticulous about instead of being reckless with pent up emotions. Ben is after all still Han Solo’s son. 

“I’m just saying, we have to be careful.” 

“He was being a prick.” 

“You started it.” 

The door of the refresher opened just right on time for Ben to be assisted back to the bed with incessant reminders from the med droid not to break any more vital machines before leaving. He made no promises in the end, a situation similar to this may arise. 

“So, General. You said you have questions for me?” Ben remarked with faux politeness that could chip Poe’s teeth as he got settled in comfortably. 

‘ _That’s right, prick_.’ Ben was going to make sure he’ll enjoy infuriating the pilot more than relieving himself in the refresher did. 

Poe narrowed his gaze back before crossing his arms together in a defensive stance. 

“First things first, how did you know the coordinates of where to find us?” 

“I’ve always known.” 

When both of his interrogators gave him looks of confusion and accusation, Ben sighed heavily as he added, “First Order had informants everywhere. Invest enough willing participants to find what you’re looking for, then you’ll be found out eventually.” 

What he said is partly true anyway. But Ben is not risking the full truth and tell them that he felt his mother’s presence strongly in the Force at a rough time after a really intense mission from that sidious voice in his head. 

“What about Rey being unconscious? How can we know you didn’t pull some mind trick on her?” 

“Mind trick? Seriously? Try fighting a powerful Sith Lord on your own, then you tell me what’s it like.” Ben’s not liking where this is heading, especially if he had to relieve unwanted memories in front of these people. He was still in the process of digesting them, himself. 

Ben was certain that he would get a serious reprimanding from the blazing General, but his companion jumps right in before he could. 

“Wait, you were there?” Finn asks, a bit stunned. 

Well, at least one of them balances out the asshole tendencies of the pilot. They at least deserved a truthful answer. Ben nodded his head solemnly in response. 

“Was lucky to find a ship to take me back to Exegol. Rey was going to fight Palpatine all by herself... I couldn’t just, not go there.” Ben purposely didn’t tell them about seeing Han again, but the quiver in his voice betrayed him above all else. 

Ben avoided the impending judgement in their eyes as he lowered his head, staring at his calloused hands instead. 

Meanwhile, the pair of rebels looked at each other, communicating through simple eye contact as they dissected the words to their understanding. 

“So, you’re telling us that... You helped Rey beat Palpatine?” The words sounded like they were forcibly ripped out of Poe’s throat. But Ben will take it. 

“I did what I could.” He’s not going to tell them the particular details if that’s what the General is getting at. 

There’s a moment of silence after that, picking at their own thoughts to form some sort of coherency on what had happened. Poe could always confirm the story if they add up together through Rey. He could even ask Lando if he knew anything. But he is still a General and he had his duties to uphold.

Poe clears his throat for a start. 

“We’ll get more answers soon enough. But before that, we have decided that it’s best that you’d be under probation until further notice.” The General continued to produce a placid syringe object from the chest pocket of his jacket. 

Upon closer inspection, Ben knew exactly what he was holding. 

He can’t help the sigh of frustration he releases as he glares at the object, offended by its mere existence. 

“Come on, is that really necessary?” 

Poe shoots him a derisive look as if the answer is obvious. “It’s to ensure us that you won’t escape and run off to Maker knows where.” 

“Run off where? And with what army?” As far as Ben knows, he betrayed his own former Master, slaughtered his guards, killed his own Knights. First Order was no more. The tracking device injected on the back of his neck didn’t make sense. 

Poe continues staring down at the difficult prisoner with the strong urge to punch the underside of his jaw. But he held out for his other companion trying to pull him away. 

Everything is a lot to unpack since the battle was over. The Supreme Leader being here has made it more complicated. 

“Once you’ve fully recovered, you will be facing with the rest of the Generals to explain yourself. But until then, you’re not allowed to leave this room.” 

The pair was ready to take their leave and just call it a night, but then the doors slid open to reveal Rey in a comfortable attire, hair still damp from a shower while holding rations of food available in the small cafeteria of the base. 

Her mouth immediately formed into an ‘O’ as she regarded her friends with surprise. 

“What’s this about?” She asks. 

When neither Poe nor Finn could answer fast enough, she turns her attention to Ben, searching for answers. 

“Ben?” 

Then the second least believable thing happened before Finn and Poe’s eyes as they watched as bystanders when Ben smiled warmly upon seeing Rey, he was practically buzzing, too thrilled that he completely ignores that they weren’t alone. 

“Nothing. They were looking for you.” He answers, not even straying away from her form as she moved about the room. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Poe mouthed to Finn. 

Finn could only shrug, just equally lost. 

Before they could witness what really is going on between them, Rey turned warily at them. They didn’t know why Ben wouldn’t just tell her what they were really here for, but one look at the hulk of weight resting on the bed and they know he was trying to give them an out. 

It can’t be helped. When Rey decided on something, like probe them with questions herself, she could keep them all day if she wanted. 

Finn decided for the both of them. 

Besides, it works for all of them. Ben would really like to be alone with Rey right now. 

“We’ll come back tomorrow. It’s getting late.” 

“Finn–“ 

“Talk to you tomorrow, Rey. Good night.” Finn practically hauled Poe out of the room and before Rey could say anything about it, they were already gone. 

“What was that all about?” She asked, mostly to herself upon staring at the closed doors with growing curiosity. 

“Just a surprise visit.” 


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben runs into an old friend. Both him and Rey are called into questioning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> I’m so excited to be writing the next update because that’s where things get really interesting. This only seems like a filler, I just thought that a Lando reunion is necessary. 
> 
> There’s going to be more reunions in the next one and more fluff to make amends for the lack in this. Also, I’m sure not many of you got the Darth Bane reference, but in case you’re confused, Bane is a sith lord who manipulated the sith order to self-destruction because he thinks that the sith order was weak for seeing themselves as equals. 
> 
> Anyways, part 5 will be posted very soon!! 
> 
> See you soon!

Ben’s week of recovery went by fast enough. 

What used to be a shattered ankle joint is as good as brand new, more formidable. Scars and bruises were no more. He could finally walk without a droid’s assistance. And lastly, he no longer operates with the help of those loopy drugs constantly being pumped in his system. 

He is strong in the Force, healing came easy when one’s will is unyielding. 

The prisoner just happens to have had enough of the antiseptic, sterile and yet, congested med bay. If he stayed one more day behind the four sealed walls of this agonizing room, he’d lose his mind just like the blind followers of the Brotherhood of Darkness during Bane’s era. 

Luckily, the same med droid who reprimanded him of ruining vital equipment came to deliver the good news of being discharged. 

“So it fits,” Rey chided as soon as he walked in, fresh from a much needed shower as he towel dried his hair. 

Ben pretended not to notice the woman’s wandering and appreciative eyes as he glances at his only option of a change of clothes; a pair of dark trousers and a charcoal sleeved undershirt to match. 

“On certain areas.” Ben nods at the lack of two inches or three of fabric to fully cover his legs. 

She snickers loudly.

There’s nothing much he could do about it but hide the flaw beneath his combat boots. Aside from that, all his suspicion led to Rey intentionally giving him clothes that were two sizes too small. Not that he minds it, gives the not so subtle woman a reason to stare anyway. 

“Damn, I thought I had it,” Rey chided lightly. She’s always a few inches short every time she’s certain that something would fit him. 

Meanwhile, he was done pretending that he’s oblivious to the magnetic pull between them. Ben throws the damp towel on the bed before striding over to her until he’s inches from her startled face. 

“Are you really disappointed?” His low voice takes on a surprisingly sultry tone. “I only sense the opposite.” 

Rey yanks herself away, pretending to busy her hands by straightening the wrinkles of the bed, though Ben already caught her flustered race. 

“Stop exploiting the Force like that, you hustler!” She weakly scolded, only for the infuriating man to mirror his feelings back mutually to her own.

She reacts with a gasp as he doubles back, a smile quirking one side of his lips. “Hustler? I like the sound of that.”

“Well, I don’t,” She huffs, an obvious lie, doing impressive efforts to put more distance between them. “So quit your cocky attitude and let’s go.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He bit back his smile from further growing before doing a languid salute.

Ben was so ready to leave the stuffy room, following closely behind Rey’s heels with one foot out the door, an aged voice of a man grabs his attention from behind. 

“Benji!” 

There’s only one person who calls him by that name. 

“Lando.” 

“I was afraid you’ve forgotten me.” 

He freezes as he watches his uncle’s approach. More than two decades to his age and Lando is still as youthful as the self-proclaimed smuggler from Cloud City. Han’s right hand man if he could have two at the same time. 

It’s probably the consistency of his bright colored attire, with his signature azure cape draped across his shoulders. 

“And so the last of the Skywalker lives!” Ben squirmed at the unnecessary attention that they were receiving as Ben is pulled into a bear gripping hug, oblivious to the volume of his voice. 

“Stars, you’ve grown into your ears.” Lando made the firm point of belittling him like he was still a child by ruffling his hair. 

Ben jerks himself away with a less than friendly smile. He’s not coming to terms yet of what to make of the man. The last time he’d seen him, he was still a toothless child. Memories go back as early as Leia still seated as Chandrila’s chancellor. 

“Still have that temper though,” Lando shakes his head with a chuckle. “You really are Solo’s kid. So, how have you been?”

Lando was being wrongfully chirpy about all this. Surely, he must know who he is, who Ben became. It was odd expecting such a civil conversation with him, let alone being looked upon with such genuine eyes. 

Ben couldn’t look back at him without feeling his body tremble with guilt. 

“I’m still wondering how I was able to survive.” He mumbled, both taken aback by the sudden reunion and the gratification he felt over his own life when numerous occasions proved the lengths of danger he went through otherwise. 

He deliberately ignores Rey’s worried gaze. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Well, your friends here got into some trouble. I happen to be in the same area, so I helped them.” Lando answered simply, and to Ben, that was explanation enough. That sounds like something that he’d do. 

Ben accepts his answer with a nod. 

“Are you heading back to Cloud City?” 

Lando offered a kindred smile. “Unfortunately. Duty still calls.” 

There’s a moment of awkwardness for not knowing how to move the current moment to the next, until Lando decided to break the ice with nostalgia.

He glances at Rey. 

“Hey Rey, I’m sure you haven’t noticed his ears yet since he hides them so well now, but back when he was still a kid, his ears were the first to grow before anything else. His teeth came second.” 

Ben felt his entire face to the rest of his neck grow warm with embarrassment while Rey was taken aback and caught between trying really hard not to burst into laughter. What the hell is going on? 

“Really?” 

Oblivious, his uncle was. 

“Oh, definitely! And he was more of a wild child growing up too. There was one time I visited, Leia had let his hair grow, but he always ran around the house buck naked for some reason.” 

Ben is absolutely mortified. There’s no force zip or force mute ability to stop the crazy man from spilling his childhood out in the open right here. It’s actually taking everything in him not to toss the man outside. 

“Unca Wando! You used to call me,” Lando and Rey rejoiced in shared laughter, with no acknowledgement or whatsoever that he is standing right there. 

Okay that was the last straw. 

“LANDO!” Ben hollered to stop all the laughing, desperately wanting to save what is left of his dignity, embarrassment aside. 

“Like that, but more adorable.” 

“Just stop.” 

Ben is not even going to glance at Rey as he releases a long exhale. He can’t risk her having to subject herself to a conversation that seemed light-hearted at first. He had a sort of idea where this was going. Maybe Lando just wanted a final look at the young man who killed his closest friend. 

“Rey, do you mind waiting for me at the door? I need to speak to Lando privately.” He doesn’t remotely take his gaze away from the man, even when he could sense Rey’s reluctance before taking her steps. 

“Of course,” Then she places a gentle hand on Lando’s arm as she passes by. “Thank you.” She muttered while subtly gesturing her eyes at Ben over her shoulder. 

It was only when Rey was out of earshot did Ben allow his emotions to collapse from one another. 

“Just what do you want, Lando?” He sounded tired. He is tired. Defeated, even. Despite having the odds in his favor. 

Lando chanced a good look at Han’s son. A grown man now, he definitely went through significant changes over the years, but his childlike demeanor still remained. Ben still got that pair of brown eyes that were expressive and wide. 

Right now, he brought the remains of his pain with him. Sometimes, it can’t be helped. It happens. 

Ben has been through a lot. 

“What happened, kid? What did they do to you?” 

_They_? Ben doesn’t have the right words to say as his shame festered and made it difficult to look back into Lando’s eyes. 

“I...” He squeezed his hands into tight fists on his sides, something that Lando took notice. 

“I don’t hate you, you know.” 

“What?” Ben snapped his stricken, tearful eyes back to Lando as his chest hammered wildly. 

“Whatever you’re thinking... It’s not why I’m here. I just wanted to check on you.” Lando’s smile radiated with familial smile. “Han would be so proud.”

Ben was speechless. He was bewildered by the heavy empathy he received. 

“But I killed him.” He uttered, not shying away from the fact. The conversation and the warm heat of Han’s palm tenderly caressing his cheek were still fresh in his mind, it made matters worse when he knew that he could have came home with a living father. How things could have been... 

A pang of hurt jostles his organs in a way that made him wince. 

Lando pursed his lips in disapproval. 

“Let’s not go into the details. I don’t keep count of who did what, so I may not understand fully. But I know that not everything is your fault. You were lost and needed guidance. You thought you were taking the right path when you ran away, nobody ever blamed you for that... Your parents never...” Lando paused with a hitch on his breath, “They just wanted you to come back home. And sure, it has taken a while, but you’re here now, aren’t you?” 

“At what cost?” He whispered, fear lingering on the edge of his pitched voice. 

Ben closed his eyes, taking every word to heart like salt to injury. Everything Lando said was true. He might have heard it ten different ways from both parents, but he needed to listen, needed to learn. He had so much more to learn. 

“Ben Solo, I’ve held you in my arms from the moment you learned how to walk. I know when I see a man questioning his self-worth and you’ve been doing it for quite some time. Don’t sell yourself short, kid. You are enough.”

Ben was not expecting that he would actually want to hear those words, coming from someone he considers family, no less. He swallows a particularly hard lump in his throat to force the intensity of his emotions back inside his body. 

“Lando, I... I don’t know what to say.” He admitted, reducing himself into a boy filled with uncertainty. 

Lando simply returned the same good natured smile, clasping a hand on Ben’s shoulder. 

“No need to say anything, kid. Just know that I’ll always be there for you.” Lando craned his neck to the direction of the main doors on the left corridor. 

“You love the Jedi girl, don’t you?” His smile broadened. “You Solo men definitely have a type, I give you that.” 

Moment ruined, Ben blushed harder unintentionally. 

“LANDO!” 

His uncle had his last laugh before he straightened up. “Well, I suppose I shouldn’t keep you for long. Go be with your girl, and pay a visit to Cloud City sometime, you’ll always be welcome.” 

Ben softly grunted, still in the process of receding his heated face through sheer will for any worded reply. 

“See you around, kid.” 

Lando walked away in the opposite direction to leave him by himself. He knows he’ll be coming back to this conversation later on, but for now, there’s one thing that struck him the most. 

“You are enough.” He softly mumbled to himself before running off to meet with Rey. 

* * *

Upon Ben’s approach, a dazzling smile on Rey had quickly evaporated into worry when she assessed the slight trepidation in his movements. She takes immediate action with the way that she placed her hands firmly on his shoulders. 

“Ben, what’s wrong?” 

He could only spare a few seconds to pull his face up and meet her gaze. He feared that much longer would cause him to shed a tear, awash with frustration because he can’t reprimand his past self. 

“I’ve hurt all these people, Rey.” He furthers. Poe. The former stormtrooper who calls himself Finn. The nameless Sullustan unloading crates nearby. Each wounded rebel recovering in the med bay. Even Rey is one of them, and she has the scar on her shoulder to prove it. He guarantees that there’s not a single being touching the same ground as him that he hasn’t inflicted pain on. 

When he wants to make amends, he wouldn’t even know where to start. 

There’s too much, all at once. 

“Hey,” Rey reels him back from his crippling descent to anxious thoughts when she slowly dragged her hands to the length of his arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind, she held onto his hands, squeezing gently. 

“We can just stay here a bit longer if you want.” She suggested softly, but Ben knew that wasn’t an option for them. 

Not only are the acting Generals of the base waiting for him, but he can’t avoid everything forever. Staying in a remote area would only delay it. 

“It’s not that... But...” His voice trails off upon seeing their joint hands. “People would stare.” 

“What?” 

Even from behind her shoulder, Ben could see a handful looking at them. He’s not exactly hard to miss, given his formidable height and distinctive features. 

“Well, aren’t you worried what they would think when you’re seen with me like this?” He sounded torn as he tried to let go. 

But Rey wouldn’t allow it. Instead, she tightened her grip and even dared step closer to his space until she’s just slightly hovering on his lips. He always finds himself drawn to them. All it would take is a jolt on his part to close the distance between them, but Ben finds himself disarmed by the flecks of emerald in her irises. 

“Do you really think I care about what other people think of me? Of us?” She paused before shaking her head. “I only care about you. No one can come between us and tell me who I can’t have. Do you understand me, Ben Solo?” 

His breath hitched at Rey’s daunting forwardness. “Rey...” 

The same dazzling smile reappears to help calm his nerves. Rey had that effect on him, like a soothing balm that patches even the deep crevices of his soul. Ben can’t recall the last time he ever felt lighter, like he’s floating in the clouds. 

He soon responds with a smile of his own, the first appearance of his dimples tempting Rey to either kiss, poke or do both at the same time. 

“When you put it that way, who can really complain?” 

“My point exactly.” She retorted as they slowly give into the magnetic pull between them. 

“So...” 

“So...?” 

“Hey!” 

Poe Dameron has impeccable timing, reflected in their eyes is the mutual feeling of disappointment at being catapulted back to reality. 

“Break it up, you two! Everybody’s expecting you.” The General stood a few feet away from them, striding closer until he’s standing between them and cuffing Ben’s wrists without grace. 

“Ow!” He jerked back with a slight wince and that was the exact moment for Rey to jump back and intervene. 

“Hey!” She just about growls. 

“This is not up for argument, Rey. He’s still our prisoner.” Poe pointed out, already sharply twisting on his heel with the expectation of the smitten pair following after him. They better be, considering he just assembled the rest of the Generals to talk to the very person who started all this in the first place. 

“Don’t.” 

“But Ben,” 

“Don’t.” He says more sternly, stopping Rey from further loosening the cuffs squeezing around his wrists. 

“You know that he’s right. But damn, is he always like that?” Ben puffs an agitated breath, glaring at the stupid pilot’s head. 

“You’re one to talk.” Rey cleverly chided with a side eye. On a handful of their Force connections, she bore witness to how Kylo Ren dealt with anger, and he had so much anger in him. 

Without looking back at her, one side of Ben’s mouth quirked up. At least she’s a bit calmer now.

“I deserved that.” 

The destination isn’t as far as Ben expected. It’s actually just a good three hundred meters away from the med bay, the main command center the rebels built around a limestone cave. The strong metallic members erecting from solid ground is an antithesis to the naturally eroded mouth of the cavern. Even without touching it, he could tell its smooth, crystalline-like texture. 

The entrance doors were large, they almost rivaled the main Jedi temple residing in Coruscant. With the Order gone, Ben vaguely wondered what happened to the temples strewn across the galaxy. But his scattered thoughts were shorter than the track itself, cutting off when Poe stopped Rey from entering the base. 

“No, you have to wait here.” Ben’s foot is barely a step inside when Rey narrowed her gaze back at Poe. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You’re both up for questioning, but we have to see if your story adds up.” Poe explained as calmly as possible, but Rey is not having it, refusing to back down. 

She tries to push her way in so that she’s standing beside Ben. But the pilot’s reasoning made sense. In First Order, when he thinks that one of the admirals betrayed him (when brute force isn’t an option because it takes quite a while to fill in the position), Hux would do the questioning until a careless slip up costed the criminal a demotion, if not, then solitary confinement. 

Ben isn’t new to this type of interrogation. 

“Rey, it’s fine. Don’t worry.” He reassures before she could start jabbing at Poe’s chest and demanding to be beside him. 

Caught off guard by his willingness, she stops struggling, uncertainty reflecting in her eyes. 

“Ben? Are you sure?” 

He disregards Poe scoffing in the background. 

“I can handle it.” 

Rey bit her lip as she internally battled with herself. He could practically read every emotion flitting across her face; confusion, doubt, fear, frustration. In the end, she heaved a defeated breath. 

“Okay.” 

Ben nods once as a sign of acknowledgement before entering the base alone. 

Beside Poe, the tension is palpable. 


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben meets with the council. Rey is worried. More reunions to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> I’m sorry for the late updates lately. I’ve just been busy with my apprenticeship program that I had to put writing on hold. If the chapter seemed rush, I’m really sorry. I guess it’s partly my fault, but I’ll be mindful of the next one. 
> 
> Part 6 would probably be one of my favorites🥰🥰it’s soft hours and just more fluff... Or at least, I’d hope so. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. I’m eager for feedback and to improve where the story is heading. 
> 
> See you soon!

Finn, accompanied by Rose and Jannah, stopped altogether to see Rey anxiously pacing the entrance of the base while biting her thumb. It was a habit of hers that the former stormtrooper picked up on whenever she was nervous. 

Much like the two women are wondering, he doesn’t see Ren... Or Ben, as he likes to be called, around anywhere. 

He’s open to betting that the man is up for questioning at the moment and all of her pacing had everything to do with it. Things rarely fazed, least of all, made Rey nervous. 

The trio shared a look with each other before deciding like a hive mind to approach their anxious friend. 

It was like seeing a cat in a vulnerable state. Distracted and having a conversation with herself, she doesn’t seem to pay them any mind as they got closer. 

“Rey,” It was only when Jannah called out did she pay attention. “Are you okay?” 

Rey doesn’t even answer Jannah. She completely ignores her as she went up to Finn with a sense of urgency. 

“You have to convince Poe to let me in there.” She tells him. 

“What?” That’s not what Finn expected to hear. Most of all, he didn’t think that he’d have a strong say in the matter to the General. Besides, all of them knew how stubborn Poe could be. 

“Please, Finn.” She continues to implore him, looking back behind her shoulder to stare at the sealed doors in desperation. “Ben is in there, and Maker only knows how the Generals would react to him.” 

“You’re worrying for the wrong side,” Jannah commented, which is once again ignored, no matter how right she seems. Like Finn, most of her good intentions are, coming from the First Order, there were still people wary about them. But the former stormtroopers knew what Kylo Ren could do, in this case, what he’s capable of. 

“Jannah’s right. I’m sure he could handle himself.” He backs up, careful with his words because he can just about observe that Rey could get defensive, one wrong word is all it takes. 

Rey made a sound of disagreement as she settled her hands on her hips. 

“You think the Chancellor won’t chew his head off? What about Admiral Ackbar?” She named only one of the few, but Finn knew what she meant. The reforming council are comprised of hard-headed people. 

It could get brutal. 

Finn sighed in resignation, looking back at Rey helplessly. 

“What do you want me to do? Have me waltz in there and request for your demands? I’m just a captain, Rey. They won’t be taking orders from a newly appointed General either.” He reasoned with sound logic. Sure, he considers Poe as one of his closest friends, but the General’s sense of duty lies on the Resistance above all else. Besides, Finn is still learning the ropes of leading a small crew with seven members. 

It was Rey’s turn to sigh in defeat, lowering her gaze in shame now that she realizes what she sounds like. 

She closed her eyes and tried to calm her nerves with the breathing exercises she learned from one of the Jedi texts. 

“I’m sorry,” Rey said, including the two other women coming to her side to comfort. “I’m just worried that they wouldn’t understand that we’re still trying to get our bearings, both of us... We all are.” Her voice trails off in total recall of the unwanted memories in Exegol, because even though she aspires to not entertain them, they somehow find their way to creep back into her mind. 

They wouldn’t understand what it’s like to have an extension of yourself literally being sucked off. They wouldn’t know what it took to defeat such a powerful being with almost unlimited power. They don’t know what it had cost to even be standing here. They may be alive and well, but sleeping became a difficult task than a necessity, terrors crept at night, the least she expects it. She knows it can’t be any more different from Ben. 

Rey can only hope that someone in the council would be open enough to understand. 

* * *

“You might see some familiar faces when we get there.” Poe started as they drift into a narrow hallway. 

Ben is not built for small talk, least of all, maintain one for the matter. So, he decides on not saying anything. 

Poe, however, is eager to take advantage of the momentary seconds with the Supreme Leader. He knows it would be difficult to have him isolated, given that Rey is always around him. Those two had become inseparable. 

“You seem to have everyone convinced,” Poe raises a brow at him, while his grumpy companion remains expressionless. 

Ben snorted in response, “By everyone, did you mean FN-2187?” He’s not even sure why he’s being asked this question, but the former stormtrooper had defended him on numerous occasions during their unreasonable visits. Ben just couldn’t figure out why. 

Poe clenched his jaw and responds, “His name is Finn.” 

As if the pilot gave him the time of day to call him by his real name instead of Supreme Leader. He knows he’s being petty at the point, but Poe seems to always want to start something. 

“Just get to the point.” He doesn’t have the energy to have this back and forth with Poe when he’s too busy trying to gather his own thoughts. 

“How’d you do it?” Poe goes straight to the point. “You seem to be worming your way into acceptance before trial, how’d you do it?” 

At this point, Ben realizes that entertaining Poe isn’t going anywhere. He chuckles without a trace of humor. 

“It seems that no matter what I say, you wouldn’t believe me. But, I’m going to indulge you anyway.” He pauses, somewhat pleased that Poe is at least listening to him. 

“It’s because I know that it’s the right thing to do.” 

Another pause and another incredulous laugh coming from Poe this time, “You’re kidding, right? So, you just decided one day to turn good? That’s ridiculously convenient.” _After losing the war_ , Ben knows the pilot wanted to add. 

“Isn’t that what Finn did? He chose to be good one day after he realized that’s the right thing to do?” 

Poe frowns. “That’s different.” 

“Is it?” He challenged, only because he knows he’s right. He might need to get in good graces with everyone, but he refuses to shy away from facts when it’s there. 

Before Poe could open his mouth and probably reprimand him for talking back, the sealed doors in front of them whirred open and in the corner of Ben’s eyes, he could see that everyone’s staring at him. 

“Oh, my! Oh, my! Master Ben! It’s a miracle! Thank the stars you’re alive!” 

Finally inclining his head to face the warm welcoming, Ben smiles warmly at the enthusiastic protocol droid. “Hello to you too, Threepio.” 

“You remember me? Artoo said that you were reprogrammed.” 

The old astromech droid beeped with erratic exclamation as he bumped against Ben’s hip for attention. 

Ben knelt down to pat the small droid on its head. “You could say that. But how could I forget the two of you?” 

He spoke of the truth as the inseparable droids were a large part of his childhood. C3PO was patient with him in teaching when grammar school was being particularly hard and R2-D2 was often in the Falcon when the gaudy ship needed fixing. They are machines, but they were his first friends. 

“Oh, my! I’m going to short circuit from happiness–“ 

“Save it for later, pal,” Their short moment of clarity is broken with Poe handling Ben to pass by them. 

Artoo beeped incessantly, turning its head to one eighty to face him, he was insistent, droid speaking with urgency not even Ben could understand, and he was already being lead further into the inner sanctum awaiting for him. 

“Artoo, I told you we would get in serious trouble if we stay. We would have to wait for Master Ben. He is much needed here...” C3PO reprimanded, which Ben often found annoying as a child, but hearing it now serves as a reminder that some things doesn’t change. 

It honestly puts a smile on his face. Maybe there are some things that he shouldn’t take for granted, he inwardly chided. 

“Artoo, listen to Threepio. This will only take a while. I’ll be with you shortly!”

He hollers from behind his shoulder, but Artoo made a sound that resembled a whine of protest before heeding to Ben’s orders, much to his relief. It wouldn’t be beneficial for him to make the council wait. They’ve been waiting long enough, sooner or later he had to answer to them. 

Facing forward, his chest expanded with increasing nerves. 

Before him, he faces a podium inclined in a semi circle, occupied by a council whose history dates back to the first Death Star. Some were people he has already met, others were new faces. But capable of battle and authority, they were all significantly the same. 

“It’s odd to be on the opposite side of the war, isn’t it?”

Ben looks onto the prominent figure in regal white sitting at the center with her hands folded over her lap. There’s only two people he knew who wore the color like a custom and a statement. Though even without the lengthy sleeved dress, he would have recognized the stark features of the former Galactic Senate’s Loyalist leader anywhere. 

She has definitely aged gracefully. She takes him back to the early days of his childhood. When he first knew her as his mother’s friend during her occasional visits back in Hanna City. 

“Not as strange as crossing paths with you again, Mon Mothma.” He regarded with reverence.

Pleased by the recognition, she momentarily looks at him with kind eyes, something that Ben could easily acknowledge from a friend. 

“How are you, Ben?” 

He gives a quick look around at the assembled council. In both directions, three members make up the half-circle configuration. Most of them looked at him like how hunters approach an unsuspecting bantha. They didn’t come here to hear about his day or his well-being. So, as much as he was eager to ask Mon Mothma back, he also knew his place in the heart of the sanctum. 

Ben kept his answer brief and short. 

“Just getting by day after day.” 

Pleasantries over. A brown-skinned Mon Calamari donning a white flight suit decided to speak for the entire council. 

“So, you’re ready to answer some questions?” 

“That’s what I’m here for,” Ben didn’t mean anything by it, but Poe seems to think otherwise as he glared daggers at him. “I mean... Yes. I’m ready, thank you.” He awkwardly backtracked. 

Not that it helped. They remained unreadable and straight-faced. 

“Alright. My name is Admiral Ackbar. Poe mentioned that you returned to Exegol?” 

Ben nods his head. That’s a question he could easily answer. 

“I was lucky enough to find a working TIE fighter and get off Kef Bir.” Extremely luck, in fact. It couldn’t be a coincidence that he somehow boarded a starship with a working hyperdrive and hyperspace trackers. 

“What were you doing in Kef Bir?” Poe interjected with no intention of hiding his suspicion since Ben kept that particular detail from him. 

Now, he had no choice but to answer. Ben swallowed his nerves, bracing himself for the worst. 

“I was there.” He utters. 

And that is more than enough for Poe to work through something in his head. 

“Why?” 

Ben thought Poe could have asked Rey or Finn about that, or maybe he had and he just wanted him to say it in front of everyone. If that was the General’s plan, then he was succeeding, although Be thought he couldn’t have feigned such a convincing bewilderment. 

He chose to be honest anyway. 

“I thought I could turn Rey to the dark side by destroying the wayfinder.” 

Loud chatter immediately broke out from the council as soon as the words left his mouth. He just gave them a reason compelling enough to justify persecuting him, on top of his previous crimes and sins. 

Ben can’t really pick the arguments apart from one another until Mon Mothma demanded for order in the council. 

“We have yet to learn what happened in Exegol. Let him finish.” 

The chatter slowly dies down, but it was impossible to ignore the reluctance in the air. Still, Ben had to push through. 

“Making my way down there was the hard part. I only had a blaster with me and...” ‘ _I threw my lightsaber in the ocean_.’ “... Nothing else.” 

Maybe it’s the imagery or the lack of imagination to even consider his story, but everyone seems to be thrown off the loop as they stop and stare at him, unfit to decide whether he was being brave or stupid. 

Facing a powerful Sith Lord with a blaster?

Ben would like to think that he was both. 

“So you went after Rey practically unarmed? What prompted this decision?” Poe asked, as per usual, the pilot sounds like he doesn’t believe a word he says. 

“Because I knew what I had to do.” He doesn’t care if no one believes him. He was here to tell the truth. 

“And that is?” 

“To help Rey restore balance in the Force.” 

Words left Poe when his answer pleased a few in the council. They didn’t have to say it, but some sort of approval is there. 

“Proceed.” 

He recalls the events in his head. 

“Going down there is like a bottomless pit. It was dark and cold, but I had the Force to guide me to where Rey was. I felt her close...” 

_Ben never probed with the Force to know where Rey was, per se. They’re a dyad. They’re extensions of each other that not even billions of light years could prevent from sensing or feeling._

_Right now, he could feel her rising conflict. The Emperor was seducing her. He better get to her quickly._

_“I’m coming, Rey.” He whispered to no one in particular but himself, firing his blaster from somewhere behind him without sparing a second to look._

“Rey? Conflicted?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Was she going to turn against us?” 

“Finn mentioned something troubling before Exegol... He said that Rey saw a vision... Of who was sitting on the throne,” Poe flicks his gaze back to Ben with a weight of something akin to betrayal. “It was Rey and him.” 

Ben automatically clenched his hands into fists as the council’s uproar caused harsh judgment between him and Rey. And that was hardly fair, they didn’t know what it was like to face a powerful dark side user. He served Snoke for ten years and even that pales in comparison to Palpatine. 

“I’m saying that Rey had to face Palpatine alone!” He takes immediate advantage of the silence, clenching his jaw in frustration as he gazed at each and every one of them. 

“You want to know what really happened? Fine. After defeating Palpatine’s loyal followers, he threw me off a cliff as soon as I got there. She was alone with him again, but you have to know that Rey would do everything in her power to protect her friends.” 

_Something severely disturbing dropped on the pit of his stomach faster than falling back a few good inches away from the ground._

_“Rey...”_

_His grip weakened on the side of the cliff. It’s Rey. He couldn’t sense her._

_... No. No way. There’s no way._

_Ben ignored every wild tremor and pain of his body as he forced himself to climb back up faster. His mind racing with anxious thoughts and all that kept him grounded is the small flicker of hope in believing that Rey isn’t gone._

_She isn’t. She can’t be._

“She would lay down her own life if she had do...” 

_Reaching the top, every muscle of his body ached as he pulled himself up._

_The Emperor was defeated but the relief didn’t matter once he saw Rey’s lifeless body on the ground. Something deep inside him cracked, the floodgates splintering off._

_“No... No.”_

_He gathered his strength to reach her quickly. He can’t... He can’t feel her anywhere. She’s..._

_Ben helplessly looked around him. There’s no one here either. It’s just them now._

_He pulled her towards him, holding her close as fresh new tears coated his eyes._

_She can’t leave him. His mother just did. She can’t. Not now after everything they’ve been through._

_Rey still felt warm against him._

_There has to be something–anything!_

“And I would lay down mine for her.” The choice is simple and easy. He would gladly do it all over again and he’d choose her every time. 

“Don’t bring Rey into this. Her loyalty is to the Resistance. She would have accepted my hand to join me if it isn’t.” 

Her will is strong. That used to be something he was frustrated over, demonstrating herself back in the interrogation room for what seemed like a forever ago. Thinking about it now, that’s something to actually admire her for. No one has ever penetrated the defensive walls he built around himself. No one but her. And she saw right through him. 

“Ben, we understand that you formed some sort of attachment to Rey,” 

He quickly ducks his head, feeling his face grow warm instantaneously at the mention of their vague relationship... If he could even call it that. And for Mon Mothma to tell everyone, no less. 

“But we’re here to examine every possible angle of the story. We’re questioning everyone involved. Not just you.” 

He pursed his lips with crossed arms, bristling at her words.

“I thought the whole point of this interrogation is to decide my fate.” 

“It is. But you have to understand that we can’t just take your word at face value. We’re considering everything just to be sure.” 

Ben knew where they were coming from. But it wouldn’t have been a problem to tell him directly that they don’t trust him. 

The reassurance helped a little bit, though that didn’t mean he’s fully convinced. They were reasonable and arguably right to a certain degree. But how quick they were to judge Rey didn’t sit well with him. She deserves to be celebrated as a hero. Nothing less. 

He doesn’t want to be here anymore. He doesn’t want to be here to listen to how they judge Rey. Ben was afraid he might do something really impulsive. 

“Am I done here?” 

Ben ignores Poe’s dirty look. They were all going to be rash about this anyway. 

Mon Mothma nods her head.

“For now. You can call Rey in. But for the meantime while we deliberate a decision, you can help the people get off world by fixing their ships. Is that something you can do?” 

Han taught him a great deal about fixing ships as a child. He forced him at times, but there were some good moments. Sore memories of both good and bad guilts him not to speak. Turns out his dad was right. His teachings would come in handy twenty years later. 

Ben nods his head firmly before excusing himself out of the stuffy room, walking away as fast as he can until he reached outside, not realizing he was holding his breath the whole time until he sees Rey sitting on a crate with her back turned. 

All his worries ebbed away in one swift release of exhale. 

“Rey...” 

Her head perked up and so suddenly, she’s standing right in front of him with her hands resting on his arms, looking so worried for him. 

“Ben, how did it go? Are you okay?” 

The way she touches his face as if checking him for injuries is endearing to him. She shouldn’t have to worry about him like that, he thinks. 

“It was nothing too bad. But they want you next.” 

She scowls in protest. “Why is everyone so eager to separate us?” 

He laughs at her warmly. So she’s just as affected not being with him as he is with her. Stars, he would have kissed her then and there. But he had to ground himself back to reality, he sees her friends peering at them behind her shoulder. They weren’t being subtle about it either, especially the short woman with Finn. 

Ben quickly seizes Rey’s arm. 

“May I have a private moment with her?” 

The trio jerks in surprise that they were being addressed. But it seems like it was all up to Finn considering that they looked to him for answers. He works it over his head and for a moment, Ben thought he’d deprive him of his small request. But the former stormtrooper waves a dismissive hand around, sighing in resignation. 

“Don’t be long or Poe will get her himself.” 

“Just a minute or less.” 

Finn grunts in response before pointing towards the direction of over stacked crates loaded to one side behind a limestone formation large enough for privacy, even though two Sullustans talking nearby could very well walk in any time. 

That’s good enough. 

Ben nudges Rey in that direction, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible until the coast was clear. They were ducking behind the rough exterior cave, a little damp from wetness but his attention was on her alone. 

“Why? What’s the matter?” 

He steps a little closer, nudging her face with his nose. 

“Nothing. I just wanted to be alone with you.” 

“Oh, you kriffing idiot!” She tried to push him away, but he instantly caught her wrists. 

He kept her hands flatly placed on his chest, vaguely wondering if she could feel his heart loudly beating beneath her palms. It’s a solid reminder that he’s with her. He needs her to know that. 

“What’s wrong?” She stops fighting him at the wounded look he tried to cover with a reassuring smile. 

But they both know they can’t hide anything from each other. 

“You know that whatever happens, I'll always be here with you, right?" 

Uncertain and apprehensive of where his words are coming from, Rey nervously exhales a laugh as she felt Ben lean on her touch before kissing the palm of her hand cupping his cheek. Ben was being sweet. Well, she was pleased to discover that the man carried a side of romanticism with him, definitely got that from Han, no doubt. But he always catches her off guard with it every time. 

"Why are you talking like that?" 

"Rey, you're worrying too much. All of these people have every right to be wary around me." Be spoke so softly. 

It was difficult not to be comforted by the gentle way he talks to her, even during those fleeting moments of Force connections, he has never raised his voice at her. Come to think of it, Ben is an all around calm and collected guy. 

"I know that but... I don't like seeing you like this." 

"But this has to happen if we’re going to stay together without having anyone say something about it.” 

"Or we could just run away. Leave them hanging." 

He's aware that she meant it as a joke, but the lack of cadence in her voice betrayed her and those words were half-meant. 

"We could. But I've been running for a long time. I just want to be with you."

Rey frowns at his choice of words, it’s doing the exact opposite of what he's trying to do.

"Stop doing that.”

"Doing what?"

She flares her nostrils in frustration. "Like you're saying goodbye. Being so calm about this."

He hums in contemplation. Should he tell her that he definitely didn't do himself any favors back there by somewhat answering back to the council? 

Ben raised his cuffed wrists over her head, trapping her in his embrace as he lets go of his troubling thoughts swiftly in favor of focusing on her. 

She’s so beautiful like this. So candid and doe eyed. 

"Can't I tell you how much you mean to me?" 

She blushes on the spot, right before his eyes where she should be. He thinks he would never tire of the way she reacts to his words. He was eager to discover parts of her he could taint red three shades darker. 

"You can but... Why did you have to pull me here just to tell me that?" 

He peers behind his shoulder to make sure they were perfectly hidden from prying eyes. 

"Your friends are watching." 

"And that would be a problem because...?" 

If there's one thing that could ruin their moments, it’s Rey talking much while he's being amiable.

"Because I wouldn't be able to do this,"

"Ben-!" 

She's not able to get past another sound but a startled yelp, before she thoroughly melts as soon as their lips collided. Ben kisses her so tenderly but firmly. He doesn't waste a second in letting her feel cherished every time.

He pulls away moments before she chases his lips, smiling warmly at her.

"You should probably head back." He gently nudged, although he's not making any move to separate from her. 

"Not yet." She pressed her face more firmly on his chest. He was really warm despite the damp coolness of the cave. 

They’ve been here a while. Ben thought now that he’s slowly gathering his wits. 

"Uh, Rey," He tries to move, but his little scavenger had such a tight hold on him now. "I don't want to alarm you but the council's expecting you." 

She only stirs a little, trying to say something. 

"I'm sorry, Rey, I didn't catch that. What was that?" 

She forces herself to look up, glaring with accusatory eyes. 

"You're the one who brought me here." 

He chuckles, giving a sheepish smile in turn. 

"I suppose I just couldn't help myself." Ben pressed his forehead against hers before closing eyes. "Maybe we can stay a bit longer." 

He'll worry about her snooping friends later, but for now, he didn't want to move. 

"What do you think are they talking about?" Finn intruded as the two ladies creepily peeked at Rey and Ben.

"Oh, they're definitely not talking," Rose retorted. 

"What? What do you mean?" Finn sheds any semblance of respect for his friend's privacy as he peered behind Jannah's shoulder. 

Oh, okay. 

He quickly twists on his heel with flustered cheeks while Rose laughs at him. 

"Stars, I did NOT want to see that,"

"Oh grow up, they're just making out." Jannah chimed in, rolling her eyes. 

"But this is Rey we're talking about!" 

"What? She's a grown woman who can decide for herself, and if she wants to shove her tongue in the Supreme Leader’s throat then let her." Jannah raises her brows at him. 

"Yeah, even Rey needs her share of experience." Rose smiled playfully. 

Finn shoots a disgusted look at the pair. The way they say it somehow makes everything worse. 

"Alright, where the fuck is Rey?" Poe stormed over towards them, his features held back into an impatient frown. 

"Um..."

"She's busy." 

"What do you mean she's–oh, for the love of–HEY! You two!” 

Ben and Rey snapped their heads, caught red-handed as they struggled to hurriedly separate.

Soon enough, the pair emerged from their hiding spot with twin guilty looks on their faces, looking a lot less presentable with their disheveled appearances. Poe is nowhere near amused as he pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. 

“Am I dealing with a couple of hormonal teenagers? For fuck’s sake, I don’t have time for this!” 

Jannah and Rose continues laughing at Poe’s misery. 

“Oh you’re just jealous because Zorri is not around.”

”Lay off, Rose.” Poe warned tiredly. The last thing that the poor General needed is to start thinking about his former crew mate, which is a bit too late now because she’s back haunting his thoughts. 

Great. Just great. 

“Rey, fix your appearance. I don’t want the council to get the wrong idea.” He swiftly heads back inside, waiting for Rey by the door while he gathers his own wits. 

After the shameless display between Ben and Rey, he really needs a drink after this. Definitely needed Sullustan wine to forget that and the damn spice runner.


	6. Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Rey’s turn to be interrogated by the council. Things are revealed and R2-D2 tells Ben that there’s a message that awaits him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> I’ve been getting busy again but man, I overhyped this again. The soft hours would begin next update😅😅My bad, but anyways!! Things will get interesting next chapter, I know it this time. 
> 
> Bear with me if they don’t have enough interaction here, but I tried for a TLJ scene write-up😩😩💖
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!! I’ll try to update faster.
> 
> See you soon!

Rey left Ben in an awkward position with her friends. There, he stood outside the base, painfully racing for an excuse to extract himself from being perused by the three other people. One of them is similarly as familiar as Finn. 

“Remember me, Surpreme Leader?” The dark skinned woman seems to read his mind as she took a step forward. 

Taking a better look, it took five years at most of recall to remember her completely. TZ-1719. Stationed at Serenno to find the mercenary group who stole from his kyber raid. He encountered thousands of stormtroopers every day, but she was memorable due to the fact that she caught the group. And then, he made her execute them.

Ben visibly winces as his stomach churns with acid. 

“TZ-1719,” He wasn’t expecting to be confronted so soon, but knowing the time had to start somewhere, he meets her piercing gaze. “What should I call you?” 

Clearly confused by the timid question, she gives him a look. He really ought to be better with words and explain himself better. 

“Your name,” He inquired, before glancing at the other former stormtrooper. “FN-2187. His name is Finn. What should I call you?” 

It’s about time Ben saw them as people instead of a replaceable unit. In here, their identities are acknowledged. In here, they seek to find themselves. It took a while for him to understand, but he was getting there, and he might have surprised some people as they all look at him as if he grew another head. 

Unknowingly, a hand naturally lands on the back of his neck, rubbing out of nervous habit. 

“Did I say something wrong?” 

Or maybe he was being too forward about this? He surely didn’t want to impose since he just arrived. If that was the case, Ben was immediately going to take it back. 

“My name is Jannah.” She suddenly blurted out. “And what’s yours?” 

Ben faltered. He must look like a kriffing idiot, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water, but it’s the first time someone is willingly asking about his name. His real name. Not Kylo Ren. Not leader of the Knights of Ren. Not the Supreme Leader. 

Just him. 

Still slightly taken aback, he steels himself to answer. 

“Ben. Ben Solo.” 

“Ben,” Hearing his name from someone else apart from Rey is strange as it is welcomed. “Less menacing than Kylo Ren, for sure.” 

It felt rather good to be known as who he truly is, named after his grandfather’s old Jedi Master. It’s honorable to bear his name, most of all, it is his. 

However, introductions are short to those who doesn’t have anything else to talk about. They didn’t know what to say next and in turn, Ben looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here, shifting his weight from foot to foot anxiously. 

“Master Ben!” 

Thankfully, the universe takes mercy on him in the form of a protocol droid and his trusty astromech companion. 

“Threepio!” Tensions rolls off his shoulders as he surges on his feet to meet them halfway, but not before hesitating to look back at the trio.

“Is it okay if I...?” He points at the droids.

“No, go on ahead.” It’s Finn who answered for them as Ben flashes him a crooked grin before running off to greet his droid friends. 

“Hey, you guys!” Ben practically beams in delight as he reunites with the pair.

How long has it been? Twenty years? And aside from him going through significant physical changes, Ben can’t help but notice the signs of their decrepitude on some molecular level as well. C3-PO had scratches on his golden plating while R2-D2 suffered a chipping on its cylindrical body. 

“Wait a second,” Ben easily gets distracted as soon as he notices the back of C3-PO’s head. “Who rerouted your software node? It’s all wrong.” 

Without wasting much time, his hands automatically moved towards the protocol droid’s cranium, specifically, at the tiny compartment with a square opening, working with a dexterity of someone who knows a lot about mechanisms. 

“My memory seems to recall Chewbacca, Master Ben. He was in a hurry to finish the repairs because of the food overload at the cafeteria.” 

Typical of his Uncle Chewie. He reacts poorly impulsive when it comes to food, as a child, that’s how he came around of the Wookie becoming big and strong.

A small smile traces his lips warmly. 

“Would you like for me to look for him? I can impart him a message.”

“There’s no need. I’ll look for him myself.” Ben is just not yet ready to face him. He twists a coiled wire until C3-PO’s eye sockets buzzed alight a couple of times.

“Better?” 

“Oh! Exceptionally! Thank you, Master Ben.” 

He swells with pride, thrilled that fixing mechanics isn’t lost in him. After all, part of his penance is to repair ships in need of fixing. It was time for the Resistance to disperse, revert back to their normal lives now that the war is over. 

“Master, if I may ask a question,” 

“Go ahead.” 

“Where have you been? Last I heard, Princess Leia sent you with Master Luke. Where were you during Kylo Ren’s reign?” 

The question had caught him off guard as a different kind of guilt eats at him. Ben bites the inside of his cheeks. As clueless and oblivious C3-PO is, there’s an underlying sense of concern for him that facial expressions couldn’t show. 

Stars, the least he could do is explain himself to the droids as their loss is as great as his. 

However, before Ben could provide an acceptable answer, it was time for R2-D2 to start beeping insistently, bumping against his hip as its head keeps turning. 

“What is it, Artoo?” 

“I believe Artoo has been acting like this since you arrived,” His companion turns to the erratic astromech droid. “What has gotten your system to be in such unstable state?” 

The droid hums in its beeping language as it insisted on moving towards the general direction outside the cavern. 

“A message for Master Ben?” 

Ben quickly bucked on his feet, walking alongside the two droids with a perk of curiosity. 

“For me? To whom?” 

“... Princess Leia?” C3-PO exclaims in wonder. “Artoo, why didn’t you say anything?” 

His companion just continued beeping. 

“A matter of confidential urgency. My goodness, nobody tells me anything. Not even a fellow droid.” 

His breath seizes, abruptly stopping in taking another step as his stomach drops to his feet. He felt physically ill, he wanted to throw up, he doesn’t know what to think. 

His mother relied one last message for him and nothing made him more anxious, knowing how he felt the last vestiges of her life essence through the Force back in Kef Bir. Her tender voice as she uttered his name is still so fresh in his mind, it’s almost as if she’s beckoning him now... A sharp pain twists like a vibroblade to the chest. 

Maker, he misses his mother so much. 

“Master Ben, are you alright?” Both C3-PO and R2-D2 had stopped walking as well.

“According to my medisensor, your heart rate jumped from seventy to a hundred and twenty, blood pressure spiking higher than normal. Do you need to be taken to the med bay?” 

Ben needed to pull himself together. This is his mother they’re talking about. He has to hear what she had to say, maybe most of them were things he already knows, but there are still things out there that he doesn’t. Above all else, they were her last words for him. He can just imagine her imparting the message in a remote area with no one but R2-D2 to hear her. 

He shakes his head more awake, taking a deep breath before falling into step with the two droids. 

“I’m okay, Threepio. Let’s go find a secluded place. Come on.” 

* * *

Nothing short of what Rey already expected is being covered by the council. From the location of the Emperor’s lair down to his unbidden defeat. She couldn’t properly convey what happened upon having a felt a surge of strength through the Force, the Jedi voices in her head, encouraging her to get up and fight, like a conduit towards a near empty vessel, that it was all over as soon as it had begun. There was nothing she could say other than the Force willed it. 

Other than that, nothing steered out of the ordinary, not until they’ve taken a keen interest on her interpersonal relationship with Ben. 

“Would you consider yourself to be close to Ben Solo?”

It's the first question that throws her off guard and when she gazed back at the council, they were all passively staring back. So she doesn't know how to react or if they were actually being serious, and yes, they were. 

Because it continues. 

"What is your relationship with him?" 

Rey’s expression immediately sours as she faces the one who voiced the questions. 

“I don’t mean no disrespect, but is there a relevance to these questions?” She doesn’t consider herself a genius by all means, but she’s unafraid to point out when things don’t make sense. 

Mon Mothma maintains her patience, as do the rest of the council. They had to, in the name of a fruitful progress.

“And we don’t mean any offense, but we have to know how we’re going to take your word, including his,” She stresses her point by a curt nod. 

“After all, not all of us can use the Force to guide us. There needs to be an extent of unbiased persuasion on both versions of your stories by a thorough examination, and that includes your relationship with him.” 

That gave her pause. 

Is that it? Was she being biased with all this? Rey would like to think that she wasn’t, she was only seeking relevance, and yet at the same time, she’s also aware how she’s been going against Poe and the rest of her friends when it concerns Ben. 

“We’re not going to judge you, Rey.” 

She highly doubts that. Mon Mothma, maybe not. The delegates of the Core Worlds, most definitely. Poe, a hundred percent. But they were placing her in a pressing situation where she knows her hands are completely tied, how Ben managed to do this with his hands literally cuffed, she wouldn’t know. 

Rey takes a deep breath in. 

“Like Leia, I’ve seen the light in him,” She started, the mention of the deceased General quieting the whole room. 

“Ben was lost. Manipulated to think that he could find comfort through Snoke. But he was destined for greater things. I felt his conflict. I know this because...” Her fingertips slightly tingled at the sensation of the memory. 

“I saw his future.” 

_Using the wood indigenous to Ahch-To she had chopped off, she prepared a small campfire in the middle of her hut. She’ll have to delay her pursuit on the broody Skywalker just until the raging storm stopped. Igniting the pile with a flint and stone, she snuggled close to the flames, rubbing her hands together for friction._

_With her guard down and desperate for warmth, she senses it before it actually happened._

_Suddenly, she’s not facing the empty stone-built wall across the fire._

_She sees strong durasteel walls, installed lighting illuminating large quarters, complete with a refresher and a personal turbolift, such quality could only come from one person._

_Ben._

_Their eyes met as he was sitting on the edge of the bed._

_For a moment, they just stared at each other. Trying to catch glimpses of clues to where they are, but Rey knows he wouldn’t know where she is and he could be anywhere, floating somewhere in the galaxy._

_“You’re still trying to convince Luke to help the Resistance.” He had spoken first, with a fact she couldn’t deny._

_“You’re failing,” He rests his elbows over his knees, crouching so the fire somehow illuminated him too. “And you’re disappointed.”_

_It was too late to build the defense walls to keep him away from her head, but she sat back straighter to keep her guard up, not chancing anything._

_“I don’t need to explain myself to you.” She responded, lacking the strength in her tone, still reeling from how easily he could read her._

_“You’re right. You don’t.”_

_She doesn’t know who decided between them to speak in hushed voices, but he kept his to a quiet volume, as if not wanting to interrupt the soft humming of the air-conditioning unit blasting in his quarters._

_“But why send you to look for him? What significance do you hold to convince him?” He was thinking out loud, perusing her._

_Rey knows it’s dangerous for her mental strength to waver even for a second. She kept herself relaxed and composed, not giving him anything._

_“Unless you volunteered yourself. Why?”_

_“You wouldn’t understand.”_

_“But I do.” He insisted._

_Aside from the fact that she’s underestimating his ability to draw conclusions together, he hasn’t pushed anything, even though they both know he wasn’t far from the truth._

_“You seek for a greater purpose for yourself. You’ve never served a cause larger than surviving in a desert planet. So, you strive to be just like them, but we both know you’re different.” He paused as if to stress what he already knows._

_That’s when she knows he wasn’t going to try anything and probe her for Luke’s location. He was genuinely curious, and for how much she’s being protective over where she is, she also thought that maybe shedding a piece of light in his direction would help him come to terms that the war is far from over._

_Maybe there’s hope yet._

_Maybe she’s convincing the wrong Skywalker._

_“Because of the Force?” If that’s what made someone special, then she wouldn’t have left Jakku._

_“I’m still trying to make sense of all this. I’ve never heard of the Force or believed Luke was real or properly held a lightsaber, and I’m supposed to accept that this is the order of things?” She releases an agitated breath._

_Rey had the disadvantage of being sheltered, of never knowing anything than the life she had in Jakku. She had dreamt countless of times of leaving the atrocious planet, starting new somewhere, and then ending up in a much bigger reality than what she had planned for herself. Ben is not wrong about finding a greater purpose, but she can’t deny the fear that came with it. Because everyone seems to already know what to do with their lives and she was still... Trying to figure out what to do with hers._

_“I’ve never felt so alone.” She admitted tearfully. Where was the harm in letting him know that amidst all of this, she felt like the only person terrified of not living a purposeful life?_

_“You’re not alone.” He echoed in a whisper._

_There’s a softness to him that made Rey glance back up. He’s still watching her with the same passive expression, but even he couldn’t hide the small quirk of his lips as if he was holding back something._

_A relatability._

_“Neither are you.”_

_Rey had decided in this moment._

_There is still hope. She can turn Ben. He hasn’t completely turned away from the light. The flicker she felt is undeniable._

_“It isn’t too late.”_

_Hesitating at first, she slowly lifted her hand._

_For what other reason than to open themselves to each other, she’s momentarily surprised to see him take his glove off, meeting her with the same hesitation, halfway into reaching out._

_The atmosphere changes, the air shifts between them warmly, and when he is hair strands away from touching her fingertips, she felt the sensation from far across the galaxy, as if they were really together._

_Ben in the small hut with her and Rey sitting on the edge of the bed in his quarters with him._

_As their hands touched, their connection intensifies, the electric current that hummed between them magnifies to make her gasp. But even more than that, she sees him._

_His future. Who he is and who he will be._

_She sees Ben adorning dark robes, a contradiction of the brightness in his essence. She sees an old ghost of his past in the same likeness, with a complete abandonment of the dark, looking proudly with a hand over his shoulder. She sees Ben with an ignited blue lightsaber, leading a few others with their own blades. One image after another, flicking fast, moving forward as she tries to grasp a glimpse of truthfulness in all of this._

_One thing is for certain yet._

_Ben is a shining beacon of light. He was destined to preserve the peace of the galaxy._

_Rey knew what she had to do._

_She was going to convince him, tell him what she saw, how solid and clear it was, but then Luke had to intervene and severe their connection, as well as the small hut protecting her from the torrential rain._

“What do you mean you saw his future?” 

She pulls herself back to the now, seeing that she had sparked the interest of the council. She realized there was no way to sugarcoat her answer. She had to come out with the truth eventually. 

“It’s the Force. It has been connecting us since Ahch-To.” She admitted to Admiral Ackbar, much to Rey’s candor, those are the words that broke the peaceful interrogation loose. 

* * *

“Artoo, I think this is far enough.” 

He wouldn’t want to stray too far away and raise more suspicion. They were already isolated in the forest, deeply shrouded with ferns and overgrown shrubs, Ben together with C3-PO and R2-D2, occupied to sit on the strong lumber of a cut down tree. 

With a deep breath, Ben pressed a button to rely the message. 

Leia’s face instantly flickered before him as another pang of hurt squeezes at his chest. 

She had been significantly two decades older since he saw her last. He had expected nothing else, and yet, the image of his mother baring her age makes him want to cry, especially knowing that this was moments before her death. 

Ben blinked back the tears to focus on his mother. 

_“Ben, my son. I have a feeling that this message will eventually reach you. I’ve entrusted Artoo to hold onto this until you come back home and I just want you to listen very carefully, okay?”_

He almost wanted to smile at how she still talks to him in that same soft spoken voice like he was still ten, but the tears were already welling up in his eyes. 

_“First of all, let me be the first to apologize. I’m so sorry that your father and I weren’t there for you that often as a child. I’m so sorry for neglecting you like we didn’t want you home. I still regret sending you away to your uncle Luke when you made it perfectly clear that you didn’t want to go... You have always been strong in the Force, even as a kid. I refused to understand what it means to be Force sensitive that I placed that responsibility on Luke and I’ve never been so filled with regret. And I’m so... I’m so sorry, Ben.”_

Ben profusely nods his head, listening intently. Different emotions flitted across him. Sadness. Pain. Guilt. But beneath the surface there’s also love, hope, yearning. Conflicting emotions to give him more closure. He continues to listen. 

_“I also should have told you about Anakin Skywalker. The truth is, I didn’t know him before Vader, so I was ashamed of ever being associated with him, and felt that it was necessary to hide it at the time, given that I was an ambassador. A member of the Republic. But I realized that I cannot keep the truth for too long, eventually people would find out. Eventually, they discredited my work, lost their trust, misplaced their respect... And you found out on your own, that was my mistake. I should have told you about his journey as a Jedi and his fall to the Empire. I thought I was doing us a favor by protecting you from his heritage. But all it did was cause a delay, it would never stop everything from being true–that you’re still his grandchild, that his blood runs in your veins too.”_

Leia paused as if to catch her own breath, this was a lot to take in. To think that she also wanted to touch on the subject about his grandfather, that was the last thing Ben expected. 

_“I used your protection as an excuse to hide my shame. Ben... All I wish is for you to not to take it as poorly as I have. I never want you to be ashamed of who you are. I know this is going to be tough, you will have people judge you for the sins of your grandfather, but you are not a monster. You’re my son... I trust that you would make things right in the distant future. I trust that you will be back. In my heart, you never left. That’s how much I love you... My son... My boy. Regardless of the both of us making mistakes, they don’t change the fact that I will always love you.”_

A stray tear leaks from his eyes.

“I love you too, mom.”

_“This is probably getting too long, I’m sorry Artoo. I don’t have much time but please listen carefully... If you want to know more about Anakin and the rest of his heritage, I’ve entrusted Artoo with a microchip, I’ve included Luke’s texts as well, the ones he never kept on record because he has always wanted you to have them. It provides his understanding of the Force. He entrusts you with it. And I trust and support whatever you choose to do with them and whichever path you take. I’m so very proud of you, Ben... And may the Force be with you.”_

Just like that, the holo-message ended with a sullen beeping from the astromech droid. Ben doesn’t realize he was holding onto the log for dear life until he was hastily wiping at his tear-streaked face.

Leia is gone now. It pains him that he would never have the chance to respond back, that he’s sorry too, that he loves and misses her. 

The best he could do is believe that in is heart of hearts, Leia knows, and if he felt such a strong but delicate presence wash over him, Ben knows he shouldn’t be worried. 


	7. Part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey’s interrogation gets a little bit heated and Ben reminisce on a few certain teachings. Maybe teach a thing or two to someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> Okay, this took longer than expected but hey, it’s all coming together😌💖I like to write Ben as someone who’s clueless about the light side in him, it’s just refreshing to have Finn and even children to see it for themselves hehe
> 
> Anyways, more Reylo interactions next update. They need their moments too after such a long day😂maybe actually acknowledge the tension in the air between them because it will get too much and who knows what they’re up to after that😌😏 
> 
> As I’ve mentioned to a few, the angst will arrive very soon. Stay tuned for that! 
> 
> Also big thanks to the feedback and discussions!! I really enjoy responding to them and knowing what I could do to improve the story, so just keep them coming. I appreciate them a lot!💖💖💖
> 
> See you soon!

Ben needed a moment alone. 

He needs space to digest his mother’s message for him, and what better way than to meditate? 

One of Luke’s earliest teachings is how closely related a peaceful mind is to how you wield the Force. Meditating helps in replenishing messy thinking, refrain from making illogical decisions and avoid getting conflicted.

For now, he just wants to come to terms with the love, forgiveness, affection from his mother for the first time in years. He honestly forgot what it felt like and being reminded had been intense and overwhelming, to say the least. Because he wanted everything back; he wants to kneel and beg for her forgiveness, to soak in the way she would tuck his hair behind his ears as a kid, to wake up to the feel of her lips pressing on his forehead as a goodnight kiss whenever she got home very late from work. 

And yet at the same time, he knows it’s impossible, that the only high road to take is not straight and narrow, that it starts with acceptance. 

In the midst of his scattered thoughts, Ben found a wide clearing, approximating at fifty meters in diameter before the ground terminated into what seemed like a sharp cliff. 

He sat on the edge of the grasslands, crossing his legs together. The wind gently blew the hair from his eyes, rustling his clothes. 

_“Before anything else, I’m going to teach you how to meditate.”_

_Ben’s hand shot up in the sea of his fellow attentive padawans sitting cross-legged on the floor._

_“You’re going to teach us how to... Breathe?” The lack of enthusiasm made the others laugh._

_“Yes, nephew,” His uncle sluggishly paced the length of the atrium with his hands clasped behind his back, good mirth in his eyes as he lingered. “Before you all learn how to use the Force, you must first understand the Force.”_

_“How does breathing help?” Another padawan asked, a female Bith._

_“Breathing has everything to do with the Force,” Somehow, the revelation coming from his uncle Luke was unexpected by everyone that they all collectively gasped, including Ben._

_“You breathe with the Force as well as with air. You let it flow through you, open yourselves through it like second nature.”_

_Now standing at the front center of the room, their Master joined them on the floor, his brown robes rustling as he crossed his ankles, hands flatly resting on his knees._

_“Follow after me,” As Luke closed his eyes, so did the rest of his students._

_“First, you must take a deep breath,” He lets the air inflate his lungs. “As you do, tell me what you scent in the room.”_

Ben took a deep breath, awash with Ajan Kloss’ nature. It fills his nostrils incredibly. Healthy loam. Fresh and wilted leaves. The faintest fragrance of wildflowers. 

_“Jogan fruit.”_

_“Starflower.”_

_“Uneti leaves.”_

_“Bantha manure.”_

_“Ew!”_

_“Gross!”_

_Luke bit back a laugh as his padawans continued enumerating. Each of them contradicted each other, but no one was wrong, for he had lit up a scenting incense that triggered different smells beforehand._

_“With the scent you grasped, focus on the smell. Get used to it.”_

Some were stronger than others. The loam permeated in his nostrils more due to its moisture. There were different leaves, both unfamiliar and common to other worlds. The wildflowers were barely there but he could still pick them apart. 

Altogether, nature and the Force coincided with one another. 

_“Let yourselves go. Free your minds and let the scent fill you. Breathe.”_

“Hello!”

Ben’s concentration breaks as he jolts at the abrupt intrusion. ‘ _Blasted! What the fuck was that?!’_

He twists his head in the direction of the squeaky voice, surprised to find a child, not older than ten standing a few feet away from him. 

Where did he come from? 

“Hi,” Ben tensely lifted a hand with an awkward wave, immediately looking around for any sign of the boy’s parents.

Panic immediately sets in when he sees that they were alone. Oh no... This can’t be good! 

“Where’s your mom and dad? You have to go back to them,” The last thing Ben needs is to be found with a child. Everyone is already suspicious enough as it is. 

However, the boy is oblivious to his internal turmoil, laughing before walking closer until they were about the same height while Ben was still sitting down. 

“Why are you sitting on the ground? You will get your pants dirty.” said the child. 

Maybe because Ben hasn’t expected the words or it’s the concern that got to him, but he relents with a smile. He sometimes forgot how fascinating kids were. They were free from judgment, pure and innocent to the bad of the world. 

Then he sensed it. 

He sensed the Force in the kid. 

When Ben peered behind his shoulder, he noticed a rustling from a nearby bush. There, he saw that five others were hiding just as he suspected, crouched behind the thick ferns and leaves, all Force-sensitives. 

They must have followed him here. Maybe sensed his Force signature? 

Ben pretends that he hasn’t seen the others, focusing on the boy waiting for his answer. 

“I was meditating.” 

The word made the boy’s soft brows scrunch together in confusion. “Medi–medita—ting? What’s that?” 

An easy smile find its way on Ben’s lips. Curiosity got the best of the child. 

“Sit down,” He pats on the space in front of him. “I’ll show you how.” 

Ben doesn’t know what compelled the boy to follow his words, but he was quick to copy his position, straightening his back with his little hands rested on his knees, eager to listen. 

Soon enough, one by one, the rest followed, joining them without prompt. 

“First, you must take a deep breath.” 

* * *

“This is unacceptable! They’ve been having some kind of communication without our knowledge!” A Twi’lek elected member of one of the Core Worlds boisterously exclaimed, her lekku twitching in strong disapproval. 

“Hundreds of our Outer Rim rescue operations have been infiltrated by the First Order since the battle in Crait. How do we move forward from thinking that this is all just a coincidence?” Another elected member, a Rodian this time, agreeing with her. 

“Communicating with the enemy is an act of treason alone!” 

“And she withheld intel that could have helped us with the war.” 

A few out of place assumptions were enough to ignite a rigorous back and forth between those who agreed and those against. As far reaching as some of them were, it was better than having to hear what they have to say against Ben.

She's heard much more hurtful words from fellow scavengers back in Jakku before, something that closely resembled _orphan_ and _unwanted_ spilling from their mouths whenever she pretends she's not listening. But the way the council has superseded foul judgment on her, she winces at the thought that it's probably worse for Ben. 

“That’s enough!” 

After what felt like an eternity for Rey, Poe decidedly spoke above everyone else to be heard. Unbidden, they all looked to him, clearly stunned. 

It’s only when the silence was for certain did Poe continue. 

“I’m sorry, but suggesting that Rey conspired with Ren is utter bullshit,” Poe ignores the few who reacted flabbergasted. “We have to remind ourselves what Rey has been through in Exegol... Do you think she’d be conspiring against us if she went up against Emperor Palpatine?”

Rey gave a gratified look towards Poe. However, it was short-lived when he had more to say. 

“Her loyalty lies with the Resistance but the same can’t be said with Ren. It’s not Rey who will be standing trial here. Let’s not veer off course from what this is all about."

His words were effective in silencing the sanctum for a different reason, however, it's Rey now currently glowering at the General for redirecting attention back to Ben. She knows that they have more questions for her as they have only uncovered the tip of the iceberg. 

Besides, she had something to say as well. 

She clears her throat once the traded whispering began. 

"With all due respect, it's a bit unfair to accuse me of treason when I've done nothing but further _your_ cause.”

She has been keeping this to herself in so long, save for the time she opened herself up to Ben the night they touched hands. No one has come close in understanding her.

“I didn't have to go and stay here. I didn't have to be swept around and be put into a position too big for someone like me to handle, and yet against all the odds, I'm right here. Because I come to know that we all want the same thing. We all want peace and justice," She took a hard look at those who made harsh conjectures.

"So, if we're talking about sharing information, then don't worry. I know so little about the technicalities of whatever operations you have, and as far as I'm concerned wouldn't that fall under the intelligence sector's job?” 

Rey profusely shakes her head in disagreement, something that could easily be mistaken for as defiance. 

“Ben, even as Kylo Ren never asked any information about the Resistance aside for Luke's location but we all know that already."

She releases a long exhale, her frustrations as palpable in the room. She was only one person against a handful who stares at her with doubt, it can get pretty exhausting. 

"Rey, forgive Sey Taa for her forwardness,"

Mon Mothma glanced at the glowering blue-skinned Twi'lek, paling in comparison as she's as calm since this whole interrogation started.

"It's coming from a place of protectiveness as she lost a great deal of her people who volunteered in those infiltrated operations. We mean no offense.” 

At least there is one mediator who isn’t impartial to her defenses though. Rey only spoke the truth, it’s the council who refused to listen. 

“We need your help in understanding what you just said because it’s a really big claim to make,” Mon Mothma paused as if to press her point. “You said the Force connects you with him... How does that work?” 

What little she learned from Luke is that the Force works in mysterious ways. Their mysterious connection is one of those moments, she had little to grasp of understanding it herself. She can only recall what Ben revealed to her before she went up to face the Emperor. 

“Ben said that we’re a dyad in the Force. Two that are one... He said that it has always been there and I didn’t know what that meant until I could communicate with him from across the galaxy, see what he sees and feel what he feels...” 

In a way, it’s what made her understand who he truly is.

In the midst of the battle, back in Takodana, she felt his remorse veiled by the temporary anger through pounding fistfuls of pain onto his wounds. She ignored it at the time, blinded by her own anger from Han’s death, but Ben Solo has always been there. He never fully turned to the dark side. 

It’s a lot to take in, even when it’s said out loud. She sees why the council is having a hard time understanding what she meant. 

“It was Palpatine who severed our connection, that’s why it had only started happening back in Ahch-To. He thought he could use our connection to turn me to the dark side.” 

On the other hand, Rey also knows that no one would be able to understand the depth of their bond.

An unwanted memory reaches the forefront of her mind, blinking back the tears. 

“I don’t want to make this more complicated but our bond played a hand in saving the galaxy... In saving me.” She choked up. 

By the looks on their puzzled faces, it looks like she was speaking a made up language in front of them. 

“Ben went to Exegol to–“ 

“To help you defeat the Emperor, we know. But he didn’t tell much about after the fact,” Poe inquired, leaning forward on his seat with a perusing gaze. “So, what do you mean by he saved you?” 

Rey snapped her head in shock. 

“He didn’t tell you?” She thought that would be the very first thing to mention considering how it would largely help nudge the council in the right direction. 

_It was a burst of liquid warmth that pulled to draw the first breath, as if reborn._

_Nothing made sense until the first heartbeat, until her eyes snapped open and she’s greeted by the sight of a man–of Ben! Ben in concentration. Ben with his eyes closed looking nothing like Kylo Ren. Until she feels his large hand gently resting on her abdomen, until she realizes what he’s doing._

_He was giving his life force._

_He was ready to give more._

_If not all of it._

_She sat up despite the ever growing pain she felt everywhere in her body, too gratified to see Ben in front of her, his arms wrapped around her body and expression pulled with a softness that tugged a smile on her face._

_It’s the most relieved she felt. The happiest that they survived this._

_“Ben,”_

_His name in her voice solidified the fact that they were alive. And if it wasn’t enough for Rey, she gently touched the teary smile on Ben’s face with very gentle fingers._

_He looked so, so beautiful. Battered and bloodied aside, she couldn’t resist the temptation of celebrating their lives with a kiss._

_She was so relieved that she could cry from being able to touch and kiss him, that when she pulled away, she wanted to tell just as much, but then his beautiful grin faltered, her heart sinks with a heavy drop just before his body collapsed._

_Ben was faint, weak._

_He gave his life until almost nothing is left._

"That really happened?" Vecto Zillo, an old Bothan in azure robes asked in disbelief, together with the two other members beside him, they didn't try to hide it. 

She broke gazes with them to redirect her attention on the ground instead, nodding her head as she recalled how painful it had been to feel Ben slip between her fingertips as if he actually died for a moment. 

Silence rang heavy in the room that her blood were as cold as the seasonal winds back in Jakku. It was as if her body conspired against time, feeling as though she was thrusted back in Exegol with her soul left behind. 

Rey supposed the dread tinged with sorrow showed on her face, because Mon Mothma was in the middle of dismissing her when Finn barged in uninvited, startling the whole council as he went straight to Poe within a few long strides. 

From where Rey is standing, she couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the sense of urgency in their gestures had only made her nervous. 

Before she knows it, Poe grabbed hold of a holopad, moving to his feet as the rest followed with apt curiosity, Rey not an exception. 

“Finn, what in blazes is going on?” She caught up with the captain as her patience ran thinly. Poe has assumed the position of taking the lead and he is still ignoring her. 

On the other hand, Finn throws her a bashful look as if he was ashamed to admit something. 

“What is it?” She insisted. 

They were heading into the woods, the sensual overdrive of nature throwing her off for a bit as she tried to find her footing. 

“Well, it’s Ben–“ 

“Ben? Is he okay? Is he alright?!” Panic definitely spiked her nerves as her heart rate jumped to pick up speed. 

“He went with Artoo and Threepio to go somewhere. I assumed it wouldn’t be far, but then the droids returned without him–“ 

Finn doesn’t need to say anything more as Rey had already probed with the Force outwards to find him. She even went ahead of the small crowd as the panic transforms into worry very quickly.

She knows she’s probably being overdramatic, Ajan Kloss is not a very violent planet like Mustafar or Tython. In fact, the jungle moon thrived with the Force, not as concentrated as Ahch-To, but surely enough for fauna and flora to grow at a healthy rate. 

When she got near a fallen tree trunk, she knows that she’s getting close. 

“Ben’s been here.” She utters to no one in particular but herself as she ran in the direction where the pull seemed stronger, Poe and the rest, following closely behind. 

Rey didn’t look back until she moved past the canopy of the forest towards an open clearing. Poe, together with the council gaped at the sight, something had stopped them dead on their tracks, and when Rey faced forward, she was stunned too. 

Ben peered behind one eye to see if the kids were still following. 

With the way that they concentrated, their eyes closed and body relaxed, a tiny smile slowly makes its way on his lips as they allow the Force to carry them afloat, a few centimeters above the ground. 

“It’s calming, isn’t it?” He asked the boy, who he came to know as Hunter before regarding Tina, Maduk, Seena, Gaten and Sha’dila soon after. 

“Light. I see and feel light!” It’s Gaten, the toothless smart one who was more advanced in phrasing had exclaimed. 

“That’s the Force when you accept it as your ally.” 

Almost immediately, the unfamiliar word pulled everyone from their concentration, opening their eyes to look back at him with the same scrunched up expression to express their confusion. 

Ben was just going to explain the Force like how Luke did when Seena, the young Togruta squeals in delight. 

“Flying! We’re flying!” She exclaims. 

Soon enough, the rest marveled at the gentle caress of the Force as they clapped their hands and grinned toothily at each other.

He can’t explain it.

Something about the sight swells Ben with an unfathomable warmth, it’s like a callback to himself when he was their age. It must be normal for everyone else, but he doesn’t see much of kids being kids around him anymore—all laughing and cheering, he has gotten used to the opposite reaction as terrible as it sounds.

He straightened his body forward. 

Ben senses her before he hears the snap of a twig from behind him. And just like that, he uses the Force to lower the six of them back down. 

“Rey,” 

But when he turned around, he was displeased to find that they weren’t alone, even more so when it’s the council looking at him as if he killed a loth cat in front of their eyes. 

Excellent. 

He frowns at being surrounded, although too soon, he realizes what Poe is holding. He was tracking him. Wait, did they think he was planning to escape? Or worse, kidnap children? 

A blush instantly colors his cheeks as he went for his defense. 

“I didn’t think I went very far and–” For some reason the kids ran up to greet Mon Mothma now with hugs. “They followed me here.” 

“He was teaching us how to medi–meditate,” answered Maduk, grinning for accomplishing saying the newly discovered word. 

“Yeah!” 

“He made us fly!” 

As much as their innocent words soothed like a balm in his heart, the steely looks he was receiving from the adults unnerved him than anything else. 

“Kids, why don’t you go back to the base? It’s almost snack time.” Mon Mothma remarked as if they were magic words to get the children moving, and they were as they get easily distracted by the mention of food. 

‘ _Traitors_.’ Ben thought to himself. 

But now, he’s alone again with the council and even with Rey beside him, he grows a bit squeamish under their intense perusal after witnessing something he can’t really explain on his own. 

“They’re attracted to his aura.” Surprisingly, it’s Finn who does it for him. 

Although, his words did nothing but confuse Ben and the rest of the council further. 

“My what?” 

“Your energy. It’s... Very bright and calming to the children.” 

Ben lowers his head, biting the inside of his cheeks. “I don’t think that’s it...” 

Is it? 

But when he chances a glance at Finn, he just confirmed his sneaking suspicion since they arrived here.

Aside from Rey, it was Finn’s presence that he felt strongly in the Force. The fight back in Takodana should have been a testament to that already, but gently probing with the Force now, he can openly sense it from the former stormtrooper. 

An untapped potential. 

Poe reacts by groaning in displeasure, clearly all this talk about the Force unnerved him, as well as the rest of the council. 

“That’s it. I’ve had enough for one day. I’m heading back.” Rubbing a hand across his face, he twists on his heel to walk away, but not without throwing another disconcerting look in Ben’s direction. 

“Try not to attract children next time. I don’t want to have to explain to parents why their kids are hanging out with the Supreme Leader.” 

It’s not like Ben did something wrong anyway. Poe had nothing to reprimand him with. Either way, he counts it as a win in his book. 

With that, Ben bit back a smile, shrugging his shoulders in a non-comical way. 

“I’ll try not to.” 


	8. Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey convinces Ben to have lunch with her. Another joins them to have a talk with the former Supreme Leader.

They trudge along a separate path behind the rest, side by side. They're holding each other's hands with the convenient excuse to carefully navigate around the soft loam and slippery clay. In the meantime, while Ben is focused on their track, Rey can't help herself from staring at him with such reverence, with deep admiration because she hadn’t completely gotten over how tender he is with children. 

In Jakku, children were often mistreated, herself included. Taught early on to do dirty and laborious work for a sleazy, boss who makes it a point to remind how they took you in instead of leaving you to die. You get one meal a day as a reward and you get none as a punishment.

It took jumping into hyperspace and finding herself in another planet to discover that it doesn’t have to be that way. That kids could be kids. 

It’s refreshing to see that around here, to learn that this is how children should be, surrounded by adults who lets them become wild and free, but also elevates them with lessons. 

It never occurred to her that Ben would be one of those adults and such a sight could flutter her heart to impossible degrees until she's a little breathless and not just because of the tedious tracks. 

"You have fans." She tells him. 

And he just shyly grins at her, brushing the fact aside as he ignores the slightest tint of red on his cheeks.

"They're children. I wouldn't call them fans." He remarked, it has just been a while since he last seen or approached such clueless beings. 

"Still, they seem very taken by you," She teases gently, liking the way he looks back at her with a bashful expression, his blush continuing to the rest of his neck. "You're already making friends." 

He sighs at her as if he's grown tired from being complimented. If it were up to her, she'd keep complimenting until he believes her. But he starts to rub a hand on the back of his neck, which is an obvious sign of his nervousness. 

"I tried to tell them to go back to their parents," He mumbles, purposely leaving out the part of him not wanting to be seen leering on their child. "They were very stubborn." 

She laughs at his defensiveness. Unlike the council, Rey is delighted to see Ben interacting with people, even if they were clueless children. The only thing she could fret about is that she should have gotten there sooner and seen Ben Solo in his natural element.

“Reminds me of someone," 

He is quick to catch her meaning paired with the teasing pitch of her voice and before she knows it, Ben had her trapped in between his arms, with her standing over a fallen log that boosted her to be slightly a bit taller as she found her purchase with her hands on his shoulders. 

"Oh?" He cocks his head slightly to the side, his bashfulness quickly replaced by something more playful. "Do I happen to know this someone?" 

She giggles before mimicking a thoughtful expression, looking up while humming. 

"Hmm, I don’t know. The galaxy’s a pretty big place for you to come across him,” 

“Him?” He prompts innocently as if nudging her to elaborate. 

“Yes. It’s a he. A man. Quite a blockhead too.” 

“Hey!” 

Ben has no idea who started leaning in, but they were getting closer. Close enough that he could feel her warm breath ghost over his own lips as a mere hair strand away of distance is the only space between them. 

_“There’s too much Vader in him,”_

_“Ben, no!”_

_“The mighty Kylo Ren,”_

_“Take off that mask, you don’t need it!”_

_“At last, my boy...”_

“Ben?” 

Rey’s gentle voice abruptly yanks him from the sudden bombardment of voices in his head, the past echoing louder like a clarion bell, fresh and more vivid with each flashy image. 

“Are you okay?” She brings a hand to his face, worry veiling around her expression. “You lost me for a second there...” 

He isn’t quick enough to tamper his distress through the bond. She could feel his erratic heartbeat with her own, the glaring frightened reaction from drowning in a nightmare. 

He stifles the tension coiled around him, blinking back the moisture in his eyes as he forced himself to recollect his composure. Ben thought getting over the initial shock would be more convincing to brush it off. 

“I’m fine. Just done for the day.” He doesn’t offer any more explanation, twisting on his heel to continue on their track again like nothing happened. 

She probably realized that he had no intention of explaining the unexpected spike through their bond, he doesn’t need to probe with the Force to know that she’s wary of him, but made no move to press him for more, much to his relief. 

It's most likely nothing major. The stress getting to his head paired with the overwhelming feeling of such drastic changes in his life. It only served as a reminder that everything's still new, still fresh. Palpatine was still alive a few weeks ago and he was still Kylo Ren wielding a crossguard saber. He's still coming to terms with the major changes and the turning points of his life. He still had a long way to go to prove himself. 

“I think I know what will cheer you up,” Rey blurted out of nowhere. 

When he turned his head towards her, she’s already grinning at him, echoing to trust her wordlessly. 

He raises her a brow in question. 

“Food! It’s lunch time. The cafeteria makes this amazing fruit tart that you might enjoy. I have a feeling that you like sweets.” 

Well, Rey isn't far from the truth. He had developed a liking for sweet treats at an early age, when his childhood consisted of Chandrilan cuisine culminated with a lot of sugar and honey. Still, he couldn't find the sense in him to crave and appreciate what a jogan pie or a moon cake tastes like when worry overrides his senses. 

Frowning at her suggestion, he pressed his lips together into a thin line.

“Is that a good idea?” 

“What do you mean?” 

He shrugs his shoulders, looking away from her. 

“Me being there...” He trails off, not needing to explain what it means to have his presence displayed in a setting as public as a cafeteria, a place where everyone's domain laid in comfort. 

It's chaos waiting to happen.

But Rey clicks her tongue in disapproval, stubborn to a fault. 

“If anyone tries anything, I’ll make them pay.”

She asserted, and Ben should chide her for how feral she can get without being rational, he gets where she’s coming from, she just wants him to be accepted and get along with everybody else. But he also knows it would take some time and a lot of hard work. 

Leia’s words had struck him then. It won’t be easy, but she trusts that he’d do what’s right. 

And what’s right is to stop hiding from people, that would be a start, wouldn’t it? 

One look at the determined gleam in her eyes and Ben knows he had lost. Between the two women in his life that he loves, he is clearly outnumbered. If Leia was still alive, he can vividly imagine his mother’s dotting antics, presenting him with every possible dish and goods the cafeteria had to offer, talking over her own food, all while ignoring her own organization’s wary looks in favor of being with him. 

Rey is not any different. He can see that now. Leia had rubbed off on her. 

“You would, wouldn’t you?” He beams a smile, intertwining their fingers before giving her a reassuring squeeze, before accepting her suggestion.

“Okay.” 

By the time they returned to the base, right back outside the command center, they were the last pair to join Mon Mothma and the council standing in a half circle, mimicking the seat configuration of the sanctum with the additional of Finn now standing beside Dameron. 

“We’ll need time to deliberate a decision. There’s still a lot of information to process, more people to interrogate,” Mon Mothma informed in full agreement with the rest, though some of them were trying to hide their disapproval. 

“For now, since you’re under probation, you may start your hangar duties by tomorrow. Poe will brief you.” 

It wasn’t up for debate when the pilot looked onto the Chancellor to protest. She had already decided and she isn't one to be trifled with when it came to entrusting people with their duties. She's becoming much like the late General, and Poe knew he wouldn't be able to put up a fight against her. All he could do is nod an affirmative and sulk in silence.

Meanwhile, Ben stood there in his best behavior, although he can’t deny the small satisfaction he felt at the flyboy’s displeasure. He pressed his lips together to bite back a snicker. 

“We also think that you shouldn’t just be limited by those duties alone. Since we’re running a little short on labor, people may need your help here and there. Would that be okay with you?” 

He highly doubts that people would come to him for help, but he kept that opinion to himself as he cordially nodded his head. 

“Okay. That would be all. Dismissed.” 

Finally removed from the crutches of the council as they disperse to different locations, Rey didn’t waste time in locking arms with him, taking the lead to head straight for the cafeteria. 

“Ren!” 

But not before someone interrupts them again.

Sighing together, the pair pulled away from each other upon Poe’s grumpy approach after talking to the Twi’lek delegate who disappeared back inside the command center. The pilot has a knack for interrupting them every chance he gets, Ben almost thinks he was doing it on purpose. 

As he fixed him with an expectant look with crossed arms, the pilot looked like he'd much rather be anywhere but talking to him, not that Ben doesn't mutually feel the same.

“You heard what the Chancellor said. You're expected to be in service at 7:00 a. m. sharp. Meet me at the main hangar bay tomorrow." As if it wasn't enough to further the importance of his point, Poe jabs a finger at him.

“Don't be late." He warned before turning on his heel and walking away. 

Ben simply watches the pilot's excessive stomping. 

"I didn't even do anything," He mutters with a roll of his eyes. 

"Ignore him. He'll come around," Even Rey knows her words were a total reach as he shoots her a derisive look. "Eventually." She added sheepishly, linking arms with him once more, the interruption not veering her off course.

* * *

The cafeteria is nothing too fancy like the council’s inner sanctum. It’s just a mess hall that could be converted into a large functional room when opportunity presents itself for quite a gathering. For now and every day since the war ended, the hall is littered with mismatching chairs and tables. The ceiling way too high for conversations to echo boisterously. 

Unfortunately for Ben, there’s only one entrance located at the very middle of a glazed curtain front wall. He considered backing out, knowing that being noticed would be unavoidable. But as his steps faltered, Rey took his hand and squeezed with quiet reassurance, even sweetly rubbing her thumb back and forth for comfort. It’s all that’s keeping him from running away with his tail between his legs. 

So when he easily came into view, upon their slow approach, with Rey’s easy strides and Ben’s more reluctant and doubtful steps, the crowd descends into a deathly silence.

Rey was good at pretending like nothing is out of place, but despite Ben having mastered the arts of feigning indifference, he couldn’t ignore the pressing stares of the crowd as well as the heaviness that stirred in the air. 

He could only grip her hand that much tighter, using Rey as his anchor to keep from drowning from the uncomfortable attention burning right through his skin. 

As best he could Ben avoided meeting anyone’s burning eyes, mindful of not bumping into anyone or anything. Trying to make himself smaller is as pointless as letting go of Rey’s hand at this point. They were appearing as quite a couple, not that they talked about their stand in their relationship, but the crowd is already establishing it for them. Looking at their joint hands, murmuring with their companions and gazing at him like he’s a wampa about to charge at them. 

They reach the only empty table available in the hall, which happens to be isolated and cornered past a structural durasteel beam. His knees bucked just in time as he sat heavily on a small wooden chair that creaked beneath his weight.

When Rey didn’t follow, Ben quickly snatched her wrist when she wordlessly twisted, just about to leave. 

“I’ll grab our portions.” She explained gently, which doesn’t really calm him down. 

He’s still looking a bit terrified to be left alone. 

“But—“ 

“Stay here. I’ll be quick.” 

She fled before he had anything to say about it, leaving him behind to fend for himself. He could only sigh in dejection, nervously wringing his clasped hands on top of the table, making sure his eyes doesn’t pierce anyone. 

Maybe this was a bad idea. He could always eat alone and not nab at the comfort of others. Maybe he could have done this a little later when things were much calmer and not this simmering volatile mess that’s seconds away from exploding. 

Lost in his internal turmoil, Ben doesn’t notice another pair of shoes obscuring his view beneath the table until someone cleared their throat to grab his attention. 

“Finn?” 

The former stormtrooper sat across him, different emotions flitting over his face though overlaid with uncertainty. Sitting together with him must be done out of an impulsive move. 

“I have a lot to say to you.” 

Ben raised his brows at that. He’s not expecting much less from anyone. He’s sure a lot are just dying to tell him various things, Finn is just one of many. He waits patiently for him to work out the words, bracing himself for the insults or the harsh remarks. 

“It’s weird having you here. I think anyone would agree.” 

That was fair and definitely putting it lightly. Even he feels strange about it, overwhelmed to be dining with who he used to consider as rebels and supposedly fixing their transport. 

“You were my former boss and I knew better than anyone how ruthless you were. Aside from Poe and Jannah, I have more reasons to dislike you. You almost killed me.”

Ben winces at the reminder, unfurling his clammy hands as he looked back apologetically. 

“I’m so sorry,” 

“Stop,” Finn held up a hand. “I’m not done.” 

Ben pressed his lips together to prevent himself form speaking over, letting him continue while he listened intently. 

“Like I said, it’s a little hard for me to accept that you’re right here and we’re supposed to be okay with it. But people can’t wrap their heads around something they haven’t experienced for themselves, I know what it’s like to be groomed and repurposed for someone else’s bidding.” 

Ben’s expression softened when he realized the similarities between him and how stormtroopers came to be. The were ripped away from their parents’ arms as a child, trained to be soldiers, to serve First Order, to serve him. He knows it’s not entirely his fault, but part of him felt responsible for Finn’s predetermined undertaking. Could he have done something to stop it? He isn’t sure. Such questions reminded him of answers Luke would have given him as his former Master. That the future is not predetermined, that it’s always changing, that an outcome of something happening is the will of the Force. 

“I know I can’t blame you for everything that happened. After all, you were following orders like I have. But you still have to be held partly responsible. And I know what it’s like to want things to be different and to make yourself better. It’s not my place to tell you that you’re not allowed to do that. But you have so much to make up for.” 

“I know...” 

“And you can start by answering my question,” 

Ben tilted his head slightly to the side, confused by Finn’s inquiry. 

“After all that build up, I’m not gonna stop you from asking now.” His attempt to be light-hearted rewarded him with an exasperated eye roll, just as expected. 

“Come on, man. This is serious.” Finn insisted. 

Still, Ben tampered a crooked snicker, keeping himself on his best behavior by continuing to listen. He was getting good at it, he thinks. 

“Alright. Rey’s my best friend and I’ll pretty much do anything for her. I’m sure it must not come as a surprise to you that she loves you, for whatever reason,” 

In embarrassment, Ben lowered his eyes, growing timid and quite red at the same time, he just didn’t expect to hear it from other people. Rey hasn’t told him yet, but the bond indicates their special connection no words can’t. It’s just another experience hearing it, even if it’s Finn telling him what they already know. 

“My question is, do you love her?” Finn’s nostrils flared as he asked, that’s when Ben knew the former stormtrooper has been holding onto it much longer than he should have. “She’s been hurt way too many times lately and I just don’t want her to—“ 

“Yes I do.” He answered without a doubt. 

The fact that Finn had to ask is almost insulting. But he supposed he understood where the protectiveness is coming from. 

“Like you said, I’ll do anything for her as well and that includes protecting her... Even if it’s from myself.” 

Ben left him with such power in his words that all Finn could do is accept them for what it is. There’s some sort of respect exchanged between them there, coming to terms that they could agree or disagree like normal people would while keeping things straight between them. 

“Let’s talk about something else,” Ben spoke over this time, crossing his arms over the table to let him know that he means business. “Why haven’t you told Rey that you’re Force sensitive?” 

The question threw Finn off almost immediately, gaping at the man because he’s been trying to keep this information all to himself since he found out about it not so long ago. 

“H-How do you know that?” 

“I sensed you since I arrived here, and what you said about the kids also gave you away. You weren’t exactly being subtle about it.” 

Finn glared at the airy cockiness he naturally exerted, already regretting opening his mouth and saying his piece because it somehow rewarded him with a more talkative Ben Solo. 

“How do you know that I haven’t told Rey yet?” 

Ben shrugged. “Just a hunch.” He says, when it’s a bit more complicated than that. 

Rey has an obvious telling simply by just one good look at her. She wears her heart on her sleeve, especially when something shocks her. It doesn’t take much figuring out to draw a conclusion after what Finn said back in the woods. 

He doesn't elaborate on it though, that was besides the point. Finn has been keeping this detail a secret to himself, even to a friend he trusts with his whole life. 

"I'm still trying to figure out what that means for me. I'm new to all this. It even feels weird that I have my own crew and they consider me their leader from time to time." Finn admits with a little bit of embarrassment. 

"I get it. But if you decide to do something about it, you should tell Rey. She'll understand." 

Finn nods his head with great consideration. "... We'll see." 

Their conversation cuts right there upon Rey's timely arrival.

Ben is quick on his feet to help her settle the trays drown, pleased to see the variations of dishes and fruits laid out for him to choose from. He hasn't had any real, freshly cooked food since he arrived. The food from the med bay were usually stale and synthetically heated up, so the taste doesn't compare to the real thing. While he busied himself on deciding where to start first, Rey is delighted to see her best friend with Ben. 

"Finn, I didn't think you would join us. I would have gotten yours too if I knew.” 

"It's okay. I’m not that hungry.” 

Rey is bemused by his words considering Finn is her go to person when it came to rushing in line for the cafeteria, however she couldn’t afford to say anything as she deposited everything on the table, handing Ben his blue drink while she opted for the red one since the blue is much sweeter. Surely enough, she sensed his delight from the bond upon taking a generous sip. 

“So, Ben Solo, huh?” 

At Finn’s prompt, he freezes on the spot. 

Ben decided that he wasn’t readily looking forward to small talk with an empty stomach, but also struggled with not wanting to be rude to Rey’s friend, especially when they just set things straight between them a while ago. 

So, he holds up one finger, shoveling food in his mouth with the spoon Rey provided and chewed as fast as he could. 

“Whoah there big guy, slow down. I only meant for you to keep talking.” Finn explained, chuckling in partial disbelief because the guy with the puffed up cheeks across him is the same guy who pretty much terrorized numerous planets in the Outer Rim. He’s almost certain that he will never get over it. 

“What do you mean? What did you guys talk about while I was gone?” Not one for being left behind, Rey doesn’t waste much time to ask. 

But Ben and Finn shot a knowing look at each other, freezing in place because they’re on the same page of secrecy when it came to Rey finding out; of her friend being Force sensitive and Ben is yet to confront the stand in their rapidly developing relationship. He hasn’t even told her he loves her. Out loud. Preferably, alone. 

“Nothing much. Just giving him advice on how to handle Poe tomorrow. You’ve got hangar duties, right?” 

Ben nods his head, his mouth still too full to get a single word out. 

“Okay...” Rey dismisses with eyes narrowed into thin slits, although she’s filing this conversation for later on. 

“Ben Kenobi,” Ben suddenly spoke up after swallowing a good bit, washing it down with his fruity drink. 

He managed to confuse two of his companions this way. 

“What?” 

“You were wondering about my name, right?” He waits for them pick up where they left of. “Mom named me after a friend of hers named Ben Kenobi.” 

The mention of his mother brought a moment of clarity between the small group, having created personal memories of their own with the remarkable woman, they were crestfallen, sure. But, in a way, recalling her felt like a celebration. 

Beneath the table, Rey slyly grabbed his free hand and gave a light squeeze of encouragement. 

“He must be quite a man to have the General dedicate a name to her only child.” Finn quickly picked up on, which is true just based from the high regard in Leia’s voice when Ben asked about the origins of his name many moons ago. 

“He was. He was a Jedi who fought in the Clone Wars.” Ben discloses with apt admiration. 

“The Clone Wars?” Finn looked at him as if he just told him that wampas could fly, Rey not looking any different. 

“You’ve never heard of it?” He asked the two in disbelief. 

While they blinked at him blankly, Ben tried to rake his memory for the books he read about the historical event. He supposed he can’t really blame them from not knowing, even in text, information about it, which is at the very least seventy years ago got lost in translation. 

“It’s a war between the Republic and the—“

He stops talking and they stop listening. 

Something cold and wet squarely hits the back of Ben’s head. 

The entire cafeteria breaks into deadly silence almost immediately waiting for what happens next. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> I know this is long overdue and this is disappointingly such a filler, but I had to cut it there because I didn’t want to cram what happens next in this update because something kind of major will be introduced right after the cafeteria scene so... Just know that I have plans for that😊💖
> 
> I’ll try to update faster and hopefully make up for how much of a filler this is. Sorry again. 
> 
> See you soon!


	9. Part 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben answers to the people. Rey isn’t having it. He also reconciles with someone from his past, now that his future is uncertain more than ever.

The scent of what trickled from the back of his neck all the way down his shirt is the same as the lukewarm Bellock broth he had sipped not too long ago. 

If he chose to ignore it and act like nothing happened, the situation will escalate to continually provoke him, but if he does, people might take it the wrong way and then add more fuel to the fire. It’s a lose-lose, either way. 

In the midst of this equal tolling conflict, Ben almost missed Rey from taking the matters into her own hands, his hand seizing her wrist before she’s able to stand from their table. 

“Rey, don’t.” He whispered, desperately reassuring her through the Force that he’s fine because she’s rapidly developing a steely look to her. 

She snapped her head forward. He could tell from her relentless back and forth between him and behind his shoulder, she’s clearly looking for the culprit who threw the bowl at him. 

“Ben,” Her breathing is shallow. She’s just on the edge of a teetering cyclone, practically begging him to give her the word. Her eyes said that much. 

But that’s not the way to prove himself to people. He had offered her the entire galaxy and he refuses to give her this one. 

His resolve is clear, his decision for the matter, the most reasonable one as he tightened his hold just a bit to ground her back from the present. 

He shakes his head.

“I said don’t.” He stressed. Commanded. He has never used that tone towards her or anyone for that matter, since he was Supreme Leader of the First Order.

It came out unexpectedly and he immensely regrets it as soon as he heard himself. He wasn’t ordering a superior officer around, this is his other half, his Dyad. His _soulmate_. 

Taken aback, she’s momentarily in shock before yanking herself free rather harshly, her gaze now downcast. 

Ben could sense a plethora of emotions directed at him and in between the confusion and the shock, it’s a close competition between being upset or angry with him. 

He supposed if that’s what keeps her from doing anything, he’ll deal with it later. 

Like a newfound purpose, he’s the one who stood up from their table. 

“Ben, what are you doing? Let’s just leave.” Finn chastised in a whispered panic, but he deliberately ignores him. 

Twisting on his heel, he notices that the crowd that formed surrounding him took a few steps back, cautious and alert with every small movement that he made. Standing straight at almost two meters, his full height added to more trepidation on their part. 

“Now that you all have my attention, say what you want to say. I’m all ears,” ‘ _Literally_.’ His ape brain supplied at a time as tense as this. He tried to smile, which he hoped seemed as non-threatening as possible, although that’s probably unlikely. 

However, the quietness prevailed. They glanced around each other as if waiting for someone to take the initiative to speak over. 

When he gets none of that, he clears his throat to continually encourage them.

“I’m not asking who threw the bowl to turn themselves over. But you can just call me over if you have something to say to me.” 

Still nothing. 

They only devolved to blank stares and exchanged incoherent murmurs. 

It was like talking to a dry wall, but he can’t really blame them either. Essentially, he is a complete stranger to them when all they’ve known is Kylo Ren. 

_‘Start somewhere, huh?’_ He inquired to himself before gazing around the crowd, trying to take a good look at each and every one of them as he thoughtlessly shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“I suppose it doesn’t really make any sense without properly introducing myself,” He chuckled nervously before running a hand over his hair. 

"My name is Ben Solo. I renounced my name seven years ago so you all know me as Kylo Ren, former Supreme Leader of the First Order. I'm sure I've hurt you all in some way or another and the last thing you want to hear from me is an apology that wouldn't make much difference of what has already happened. So, I would like to start somewhere else..." He pronounced his words firmly, determinedly.

“I could tell you all about what happened back in Exegol. I was there. I was fighting with my life with Rey. I already told the council about it. Although, I don’t think the details would matter to you. The way I see it, I’m a murderer. A pillager. A war criminal in your eyes. And I don’t disagree with you... I have made a lot of terrible choices in the past ruled by pride, anger and greed.” He doesn’t excuse himself from harnessing power from all those dark emotions. In his mind, it’s important to not leave any stones unturned. 

Including, hopeful ones. 

“But you also don’t know me completely. You never knew me as Han Solo and Leia Organa’s son. You don’t know me as Ben Solo. And if you give me a chance, somehow... If you feel like there’s more to me than Kylo Ren then... Feel free to approach me any time. I’ll be at the main hangar all day starting tomorrow.” 

When he ended his commentary it dawned on him if it was a good idea to announce where he’ll start to frequent since he’d be busy doing laborious work anyway. He was going to correct himself and mention that they could approach him when he’s not doing anything tedious but then the murmuring started to rise and contradict with the respectable silence again. 

It tells him that chaos will ensue within seconds. 

Finn stood up from his seat to intervene and try to dissipate the commotion. They would attract the council’s attention soon enough if they don’t do anything. 

From the indistinguishable crowd, a middle-aged, bearded man with graying hair in technician’s garbs, pushed himself to the front all of a sudden. His blue eyes tracked Ben’s, never wavering, and the look he gives him is an uncomfortable one.

“My name is Sans Fallon. Unlike you, I’m just a mechanic from a tiny junk shop in Abafar until the Resistance started gathering recruits... I was content with my life back at home, lived a pretty decent one at forty three but my son, wouldn’t have it. He had strength and hope for a better galaxy,”

The sullen man handed him an old camera model, which doesn’t use a holotransmitter to send images. Instead, a younger man, probably in his early twenties flickered on the screen. 

Wild haired and big smiles, the young adult had an uncanny resemblance to his father. That much is clear. 

“His name was Theon Fallon. He worked as a turret gunner at Varsa Meadows. He was only twenty two when he died. His body was recovered two days after the attack. He was slain by a lightsaber... Your lightsaber.” 

There’s no one else who could have done this. 

Ben exhaled with a sharp breath, guilt filling the pit of his stomach up to his burning lungs. He has been to Dandoran countless of times, made several runs as part of Snoke’s missions for him. Theon could be anywhere during those times and no matter how hard he tries, he wouldn’t be able recall the young man on the camera. He’s one of the many he has slain with his saber. Just one of many... 

What he had done could not be undone. He could make amends in subtle ways, but none of it would compare to what Sans lost. 

He gapes at the father still staring at him with steely eyes. ‘ _Just one of many...’_ He echoes once more heartbreakingly. 

Ben hands the camera back before his arms fell uselessly on his sides. 

“I’m sorry,” He whispered softly, almost wistfully. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

It was like an out of body experience as he looked onto the loaded gaze of the crowd. The weight was heavy, his shear strength would bend any moment now. The guilt burned a hole in his guts. He felt sick. He wanted to throw up. A lot was going on with him all at once. 

Wordlessly, his feet started to move. He doesn’t think of where to go, he just lets his quivering legs take him someplace far away. He could barely see through the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes as the people part for him, letting him take a cowardly exit when it’s just their reaction being delayed. But as soon as it registered that they let their common enemy get away, they turn to Finn and Rey, demanding for answers. 

“Where is he going?” 

“Why did you bring him here?” 

“He shouldn’t be here!” 

Those were just a few Rey could pick up on in the boisterous clamoring around her. But those seem to be enough to trigger the same feeling back then, since Ben arrived with her. 

“That’s enough!” Startling the crowd, she takes immediate advantage. “I didn’t come back here expecting a warm welcome. I wasn’t actually expecting to come out alive to be completely honest.”

Finn’s hand grips her shoulder firmly, giving her the comfort that she needed to continue graciously. 

“And I’m sorry to say this but I can’t provide all the answers to your questions. All I know is, whether you like it or not, Leia has always wanted her son to come back home, and even if she’s not here anymore, we should still honor her wish.” 

Against her better judgment, the crowd has a mixed reaction. On one hand, each person in the room has a different grasp on acceptance. In another, would it really make any difference if Leia was still alive? 

Rey thinks it’s highly unlikely. 

So, she hurriedly added with flared nostrils, “I’m not asking you to forgive Ben. It’s your decision. I don’t really care what you say behind his back or mine, but a bit of civility wouldn’t hurt, right?”

Some of them quieted, some others glowered in the background. Either way, she’s relieved that she doesn’t have to threaten them into behaving. 

“Also, Ben is a huge liability.” Finn stepped forward this time, bringing them up to speed on what is going on, at the very least provide them with what the pair knew so far. 

“It’s true. He was with Rey in Exegol. They fought the Sith Lord together and the council has been alerted about it... He will be going into trial,” 

Somehow, breaking the news is what draws the line as everyone collectively exclaimed and expressed their growing dissent. 

“Listen! I don’t exactly trust the guy either but we could trust the council with their decision. They’ll know what to do.” 

Up until this point, Rey disagrees with Finn. She isn’t so sure anymore. 

* * *

Ben only kept going straight until he found an isolated clearing, away from the civilization. Eventually, Finn and Rey would find him but he needed some fatal time to be by himself. 

The first thing he did is throw up gracelessly right in front of the Millennium Falcon. The gaudy spaceship is just sitting there out in the open, the single-filed decking ramp drawn out, so the entrance was basically open with no one else around. 

In the midst of what seems to be his eternal dry heaving, he’s not operating with his rational sense. He doesn’t question if the ship is empty or not, just mentally concludes that it’s the safest place he could hide at the moment. 

Ben doesn’t give it a second thought. After wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt, he steps inside Han’s spaceship and immediately, he is struck by the familiarity of the Falcon, from the layout down to the smallest of details. There’s still the sliver of crack remedied by a sealant so to stop the rainwater from dripping overhead. It’s still there; shitty and needed some proper fixing. 

Some clanking and intervening metal pulled him towards its direction. It came from the deck hatch, maybe. 

Thinking he would be alone, he was alarmed. 

“Who’s there?” 

He approaches slowly, rounding the bay with his guard up in case it’s some creature indigenous to the moon finding itself lost in the ship or just someone minding their business. But what would they be doing in the Falcon? 

Ben frowned, he tries again. 

“Hello? Is anyone there?” 

The companionship of silence is already expected, but in response to something else, he is greeted by the heavyweight, lumbering steps of none other than—

“Uncle Chewie...” 

The encompassing Wookie filled the curved corridor, holding what appears to be a repair patch and foam sealant in one gigantic paw. 

He knew this reconciliation would be a solid reminder of the last time they saw each other. Ben could see it in Chewie’s beady eyes despite the lack of expression his species donned. The pain and longing is still there. His uncle misses Han every single day and Ben owes it to the Wookie that the Falcon is still in workable condition. 

Either one of them should probably break the radio silence. The awkwardness is rapidly crawling into their skin and it’s Ben who had taken the initiative to swallow down everything and force some brevity to speak. 

“I-I didn’t know you’d be here,” Stupidly enough, he hadn’t associated that his dad’s co-pilot would be in this ship, of all places. “I thought I’d be alone. I’m sorry. I’ll just go and find somewhere else to go,” 

His mind was already set on the open clearing he was meditating at not so long ago, anxious to leave. He could probably make it back in ten minutes if he started now. 

But twisting on his heel to take his leave, he was certain that Chewie would be lumbering back to where he came from and definitely not follow him. 

So when he felt two strong limbs effortlessly maneuver him around so that he is getting crushed into his furry chest, growling and howling, a complete contradiction to the meaning behind it— “Uncle Chewie missed you so much.” and “I’m so sorry, Ben. I’m so sorry for hurting you that night...” 

His fluency in Shyriiwook is just as decent as Han’s, which isn’t anything impressive. Communicating in Wookieespeak is funny for humans, they lacked the larger bravado and wider windpipe, but he understood his uncle well enough. 

Chewie kept apologizing profusely for reiterating at him, instead of what he always presumed. He was so sure that his uncle hates him. After witnessing Han’s death himself, he was certain that his uncle carried a hatred with him. And not... Not this. 

Ben hadn’t realized he was shaking from tears until he wrapped his own arms around the Wookie, unsurprisingly appearing smaller for the first time in years. 

“No, no... Don’t apologize. Please. I deserved it. I’m so sorry, Uncle Chewie. After what I did to dad, I-I don’t have a face to show to you. I’m so...” The rest of his words were effectively swallowed by his uncle’s thick coat when he pressed his face closer to his chest. 

Together, they devolved into broken apologies for quite some time, trying to outdo the other when there is no clear winner. In the end, his uncle did what he was best at. Chewie cuddled Ben like he was still a child of four years old. Purring soothingly to calm his loud sobs, the special warmth that encased him slowly taking him back towards twenty five years ago. He always sought after his uncle whenever he cried, whether it was from hurting himself or he got into a fight with another kid, he always knew Uncle Chewie to be strong and comforting. 

Up until now, nothing has changed. He doesn’t stop rocking him back and forth even when his breathing slowed and a calmness settled over him. Ben doesn’t even know how they got to the main hold, but Chewie thoughtfully sat them down on the arched seater. 

Maybe it’s because it has been a while since Ben has been held like this or he missed the feeling of being small for once or both. Whatever the reason, he had fallen asleep somewhere between his uncle nuzzling his hair and talking nonsense, saying how he’s a fully grown adult now and all that. 

Chewie being Chewie, didn’t have the heart to let go of the perfect carbon copy of his best friend just yet. 

He held him much longer. 

_Ben trained as a Jedi for more than ten years with Luke Skywalker. He would recognize the dome-shaped superstructure anywhere. It’s pointed spires served as guides erecting at the ordinal directions. The encompassing exterior just as lavish from its interior._

_Even in his dreams, although a bit hazy, he recognizes the wide meditation room from anywhere._

_The floor is recessed to three steps down. Remarkably empty, it is designed for all the Master Jedi’s padawans to form into a circle whenever they had meditation exercises._

_Four stone pillars, only reaching up to his hips freely stood within every midpoint of every enclosing walls, the sacred Jedi text laying on top of each flattened capital._

_Ben approached the silent room with slight trepidation, partly aware that this can’t be real, but also can’t tell the stark difference from his reality. Everything looked just as the same, even his former Master whose back is turned away from him, flipping through the delicate pages of one of the books on the opposite wall._

_“I didn’t expect to see you so soon.” The Jedi Master started, half turning his head over one shoulder._

_“Luke,” He is still wrapping his head around being back in the temple, knowing fully well what happened to it._

_Finally, his uncle turned, his brown cloak billowing behind him. Like a light switch, what used to be a hardened blue stare regarded him with a familial warmth._

_“Hello, Ben.”_

_Looking around to cast his gaze elsewhere, he pinned his eyes on the flickering flames of one of the torches that illuminated the room._

_“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”_

_He’s not talking to Luke, not really._

_“You could be.” His uncle supplied, which only made his frown settle in deeper._

_“So you’re not real,”_

_Although the Jedi Master looked every bit of who he is, from the raggedy beard down to the simple beige robes. Even his laughter, as light and breathy as it is now, couldn’t just be a product of his imagination. He doesn’t even remember a time when Luke had laughed at so him openly._

_“Dreams are an extension of reality. It was a lesson I taught in your early training. Can’t blame you for not listening, kid.” There’s a playful hint in his tone as Luke paced towards the center of the room while Ben remained rooted to the ground, not even bothering to correct his uncle’s accusation._

_“Something’s troubling you, nephew.” Luke assessed and that got his attention right away. “What is it?”_

_The conflict stems over with more uncertainty, wondering if he should tell Luke or his mere vision of him. Would that be a good idea?_

_Ben chanced a glimpse at his uncle and caught that he’s waiting patiently for his decision. Looking at him now, there’s an energy to him that illuminates the meditation room with a certain glow. Such a convincing telltale sign that this can’t be real._

_Where’s the harm in telling?_

_He sighed in dejection before meeting Luke’s imploring blue eyes._

_“Do you consider me a terrible person?” Ben finds himself asking. He doesn’t know where it came form, but it felt like it needed to be asked._

_The look his uncle gives him is a strange one. He pressed his lips together as if in deep contemplation. Is it really that hard to answer?_

_“No, Ben. You’re not.”_

_“Even after everything?” Destroying this temple, killing his fellow classmates, Han? The list could go on. Ben would like to give him more reasons, but Luke snorted at him uncharacteristically._

_“Yes.”_

_“How... Do you know?”_

_Luke’s mechanical hand raised to rest on his shoulder._

_“Take it from someone who still saw the light in his father despite what everyone else warned him about,”_

_Evidently, it’s probably the deep frown in Ben’s face that decided for Luke to continue further. “It’s a miscalculated move on my part... That night while you were sleeping... I let the fear of failing Leia get the best of me.”_

_Luke squeezed at his shoulder firmly before dropping his hand on his side._

_“But you’re not an irredeemable person, if that’s what you’re asking.”_

_Coming from the first person he failed, hearing those words meant a lot to Ben, whether he remains unconvinced that he’s talking to the real Luke or not. For once, he accepts the weightless energy that surges within him to replenish his soul. He’ll have something to think about when he wakes up._

_A smile of gratitude slowly takes over the entirety of his face._

_“It’s a shame that we never talked like this in real life.” Ben mentioned sullenly, still reliving this precious moment in jest._

_“What makes you say that I didn’t hear you?” Luke countered._

_“This is just a dream.” He retorted as if he needed to remind himself._

_“The Force works in mysterious ways, Ben.” Luke supplied. “You really should have listened. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so lost, nephew. No wonder you were falling behind as my padawan.”_

_Along with the wisdom of a Jedi Master possessed, he carried a light-hearted sense of humor with him as his laughter tinkered in echoes._

_Most days Ben would have rolled his eyes, groaned and dismissed his uncle’s poor attempt at humor, but slowly, as his surroundings brightens and Luke’s figure began to morph into a lump of figure, and eventually, darkness, his last grasp to stay is suddenly overridden by reality._

“Wait!” 

Ben sits up. 

Looks around to find his uncle, only to discover that he’s back in the Falcon. Specifically, laying on the uncomfortable seater on the main hold with a warm blanket tucked over his lap, courtesy of his Uncle Chewie, most likely. 

The emergency overhead lights of the ship is turned on. ‘ _How long was I out?’_

Another frown settled on his features. 

“Uncle Chewie?” He called out, perking his ears for any signs of the Wookie’s indoor activity. 

He tries again. 

“Uncle Chewie!” 

Nothing. 

It’s just the hum of the air-conditioning unit serving as his lonesome companion for the evening. 

Ben rubbed away the remnants of sleep with his hands before decidedly standing up and folding the blanket on the neat corner of the seater. While he’s still trying to figure out how to get himself something to eat for dinner, he thought he should freshen up at least. Maybe it would help clear his head for a bit. 

“Shit.” 

Another problem arose; he doesn’t have a change of clothes. 

Groaning at the idea of sitting through the grimes of the entire day, he hadn’t picked up on the lighter footsteps that couldn’t come from Chewie until a presence as familiar as his own alerted his senses. 

“Rey?” 

She’s standing at the corridor holding a tray of food and some clothes. It’s quite impressive, how she knew what he needed. His expression softened at her thoughtfulness, completely missing her stiffened features, as if it’s taking a lot to even place the items on the table for him. 

“Thank you.” He slid the tray forward, immediately getting his hands on the fresh slice of moon cake sitting on one side, only stopping when he forgot to ask, “Have you eaten?” 

She nods her head. “I have.” 

Ben assumed that she’d slide along the booth and sit with him, so when she made the move to turn on her heel to leave, he hurriedly shot up from his seat, alarms going off to stop her. 

“Where are you going?” He asked, pulling her back with one hand wrapped around her wrist.

“It’s Chewie who told me that I’d find you here, but I only came to deliver those. You can just leave the tray at the disposal when you’re done.” 

There’s nothing wrong with her instruction, but the way she says it made his stomach sort of queasy. He hated this—this invisible rift between them as if they’re mere strangers, or worse. 

He easily gives in to the need to fix things, but then remembering the way she tensed at his touch, he was gentle with his approach. 

“Can I?” He whispered before slowly bending to engulf her in his arms, making sure that she had the choice to pull away if she doesn’t want to be touched. 

Much to his relief, Rey allows their embrace, feeling brave, he dared to plant kisses over her hairline. 

“I’m sorry...” Ben kept on repeating, hands rubbing soothing patterns all over her back. “I really am. It’s just—I’ve been forcing to fix things with violence for years. I wanted to start things right with people this time. I don’t want them to doubt my intentions.” 

After a few minutes of holding her against him, she breaks the silence with a defeated sigh. 

“If only people could see this side of you,” She mutters in frustration, although, her body is starting to relax bit by bit. 

He smiles into her hair. 

“With time, sweetheart. They will.” 

She leans back to look at him in the eyes. 

“I hope you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!💖💖💖  
> So yeah, guess some people are right that it’s going to be Rey who’s a little fueled by her emotions than Ben😳😆I just based it on their TROS fight where it’s Rey on the offense and Ben doesn’t necessarily want to fight or kill her. 
> 
> This is kind of Ben-centric, I know. There’s going to be more Rey POV’s in the future, don’t worry. It’s just important to tie up loose ends by reconciling with people from his past for now💖💖
> 
> He’ll be starting making more amends the next updates. Don’t worry, he’ll eventually be good at it😂👍🏻
> 
> See you soon!


	10. Part 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns something that belongs to Ben. He also begins his probation tasks with newfound determination.

Being snuggled in between Ben's arms paired with the cool air-conditioning unit, Rey yawned tiredly.

It's been a long day. She spent the other half of daylight making herself scarce so she could distract herself from escalating into a fuming mess. In the end, she took it out on the sensor arrays in one of the computer rooms, aggressively twisting and rewiring with more force than necessary. It's no wonder that she would probably pass out any second now from bone deep exhaustion. 

Ben was well aware of this even without checking through their bond. He slightly pulls back and she chases for his warmth, leaning into his touch when he nudged her face with the palm of his hand.

“You should rest.” The soothing tone of his voice alone would be enough to make her fall asleep right then and there but she refuses to give up the last vestiges of her consciousness. She didn’t think he’d be attentive over such things as little of importance as yawing.

She shakes her head stubbornly. 

“I’m fine,” She pressed, stifling the fatigue in her tone. “It’s just cool in here. Really cozy.” 

Fighting back sleep has got to be in the list of things she wouldn't do just for anyone. She didn't even like being touched most of the time. But she also really didn't want to leave Ben's arms, not yet, at least because resting meant heading back to her bunk space in the eastern dormitory where she roomed with Rose and Kaydel. That's all the way back to the dirty mud trail as well. _'Knock it off'._ She mentally scolded. She sounded so whiny, finding excuses to stay here. What has happened to her? 

While she was looking for the answers to her uncharacteristic neediness, she doesn't notice Ben looking around cautiously, following an awkward pause to give way for their eyes to meet. 

He stares at her with a bashful look. 

“You should probably stay..."

“Yes,” She reels back at the eagerness in her tone, startling him while she tries to recover her cool. Why were they acting so awkward now? It's not like they haven't slept on the same bed since they arrived. Then again the Falcon isn't as crowded and busy with droids, the ship provides more privacy than the med bay does.

She doesn't know what to feel about this information but it most definitely doesn't help calm the anxious energy crackling between them at all.

Still, she's going to take every chance she gets to be close to him.

“I mean, it’s a long walk back to the base anyway. I’ll stay—!”

He catches her off guard, heart violently lurching in her throat, when Ben effortlessly picked her up, maneuvering her legs to crisscross around his torso as he nuzzled his face into her hair, stealing a chaste kiss on the side of her head. 

"Good. Wasn't planning to let you go anyway," He murmured affectionately as he bounced her in place. 

"Ben!" Her cheeks heated up at the large hands groping the back of her thighs while her own ended up wrapping themselves around his neck for more support. 

“What are you doing? I can walk!” Except when she tried to dismount herself, he held her much tighter, keeping her locked in this chest to chest position. 

He scoffed a little, a boyish grin splitting his face in half. There's a boldness to his actions, exalting a sudden confidence in the gait of his long strides. 

"But you're also tired. I don’t want you to pass out here. You don't know how long it has been since the floors have been swept." He reasoned, nose wrinkling in distaste. 

She stared at him with a bizarre expression, she did notice how Ben was more refined in the way that he did things as opposed to how sloppy and improvising she is, it's kind of interesting to her. They were totally the polar opposite, yet very similar in other ways.

"I didn't peg you as a clean freak." She teased with a raised brow. 

He sighed deeply, taking the matter seriously. "Proper hygiene, sweetheart. You don’t know wanna know how dirty floors get,”

She made a face. Hygiene to her was nothing more but a brisk washing up from head to toe and that's it. Otherwise, she's gotten used to living with sand and dust around her.

He smirked with an air of lightheartedness.

“Besides, I like the view from here," He tilts his head, following a sultry undertone. "Don't you?"

She was never on the receiving end of outlandish compliments or flirting... Was he flirting? She wasn't entirely sure either. But the immediate effect overwhelmed her. Skin burning from where he's touching her and he definitely could hear her heart rate picking up speed if he doesn't sense the surge of affection through their bond first. Rey swallowed a huge lump lodged in her throat, unable to bat away the bothersome butterflies in her stomach as she tucks her face into his neck, equal parts embarrassed and flattered. 

Ben's chest rumbled with his chuckles as he resumed his walking. Clearly, he was enjoying this, much to her annoyance. 

He was just crossing the corridor to the crew's quarters when she decided it was safe to pull back. 

"Where are we going?" She frowned, looking behind his shoulder where they passed ahead of the empty bedding. 

"To bed."

"But we just—“

"That's where Uncle Chewie sleeps." He interrupted, not saying anything else to explain why that would be a problem.

There's an urgency to him, an active part of him that she herself couldn't name until they passed through a utility closet and finally, in another sleeping quarters, messy and cluttered as it was last used. 

Rey can't say she has been here before but he seems to know where everything is like it was muscle memory.

He placed her back on her feet and switched on the lights, illuminating the entire space. It was much larger, flat surfaces coated with dust, Ben quickly took action and grabbed one of the clean looking blankets strewn on a desk to drape over the rumpled bed, tucking the corners underneath the mattress before toeing off his shoes. 

Yes, she definitely doesn't recognize the room, but it was more alluring to watch Ben in a very casual environment. He sighed in relief before sitting on the edge of the bed, grimacing a little as he started massaging the ball of his right foot.

As Kylo Ren, he wouldn't show, even the smallest bit of discomfort as he does now. It was fascinating. 

Without lifting a finger, he used the Force to carry her over to his lap. She wouldn't have allowed such a trick pulled on her but he looked so pleased with himself, securing her once more in his firm hold. She doesn't question his actions until he's delicately removing the white wrappings around her arms. 

"What are you doing?"

"Getting us ready for bed." He answered with certainty.

Goosebumps immediately pebbled over her skin from every inch getting exposed. She always gets cold very easily. Nights in Jakku were practically torture. She'd be restless when it was particularly windy, she sometimes had to bind her arms twice or three times. 

Already shivering, she doesn't stop him.

He's very hyper focused on the task. This level of concentration seemed more appropriate for fixing a turbolaser than unwrapping the white cloth. She would have laughed but she didn't want to break whatever was running through his head. 

Ben was regarding her in awe, he doesn't even try to hide his gratified emotions from her and a part of her is willing to admit that she doesn't want him to stop looking at her like that either. It's even made more intense when his hands slid along the entire bare length of her arms, making her visibly shudder. 

His gaze darkened, piercing her captive. "I've never seen you without these." 

She shrugged, trying to feign casualness and avoid what she might see in his eyes.

"Force of habit, I guess... It gets really cold at night in Jakku. It was impossible to find a jacket or some thick cowl without getting into a fight with the other junk traders. I had to improvise," 

There’s a momentary pause before he leaned back.

"You can have my sweater." He offered generously. 

She was just going to return it, no longer ringed with holes and loose threads, she had fixed it for him. She was sort of expecting that he might not want it back. The cotton sweater served as a mere undershirt over his usual dark ensemble anyway. 

However, to her, it was more than that. Sensing his presence back in Exegol and seeing him actually run to her side in nothing more but that sweater and a lightsaber—she can’t help but hold a sentimentality over it. 

She perked up. "Really?"

After all, she was always a collector of keepsakes. Ben was well-aware when he smiled into her shoulder. 

"It would look much better on you anyway. And I like this," He says, trailing kisses from her wrist and stopping over the crook of her elbow. “I like you.” 

His lips tickled as he kept proving his appreciation. Obnoxious smacking sounds filled the air together with her joyful giggling.

Although what is first playful is gradually rising into an all-consuming desire. She stopped laughing when his hands tightened its hold around her hips, bringing her flushed against him, and with a startled gasp, she cups the back of his head to bring their mouths together. 

He groans at the contact and she grows pliant in his arms. They kiss torridly, triggering strong sensations from each other through wandering hands and grinding hips, the intensity rising from their connection in the Force. It acted like a conduit; amplifying their emotions being felt by the other. Rey almost wanted to cry, whimpering whenever Ben reiterated twice as hungry and passionate. 

Lungs soon grew desperate for air, Rey pulled away first although Ben resumed his ministrations, mouthing at the pulse point of her neck. 

"Ben," 

Encouraged, he sucks a bruise on her skin, wanting to hear the breathy way she says his name again. She freezes. Wide eyes springing open at a heavy realization, slingshooting her from their throes of passion back to reality. Rey is made aware of his hands dangerously groping near her backside now, growing more scarlet at the way she was straddling his waist, feeling his desperate need for her on her lower abdomen as he groans her name and pressing their lips together again. 

“Mmmfwait!” She muffles out before being consumed again. “Ben,”

“Hmm...” He doesn’t seem to hear her or care to listen for that matter until she yanked on his hair to dislodge his mouth descending low on her collarbone. When did he unclasped the top two buttons of her tunic anyway? 

“Ben, w-we have to stop!” She stammers before he could break her strong resolve. She swallowed thickly at the desire that swirls in his dark eyes. 

But he immediately stops, looks at her with hesitation. 

“You have an early day tomorrow. 7:00 a.m. sharp. Remember?” 

Between catching their breaths, he pressed their foreheads together, slowly seeing reason in the haze of lust and passion. They both know she’s right. She can’t afford Ben to be late on his first day, no matter how much they badly want each other. 

“I’m gonna kill Poe,” He muttered in frustration after a while. 

Rey could only laugh before dismounting from his lap now, much to his dismay. Her heart swells at his dilated pupils and swollen lips. She’s probably not faring any better, but she likes that too. 

Gathering the change of clothes he was supposed to use, she hurled the items over to his face when she catches him staring at her backside. 

Pervert. 

“You need to take a bath.” She wrinkled her nose for added effect. “It felt like I was kissing a wet hound, no offense.” 

Ben stood up, bristling at her comment before heading out towards the refresher. 

* * *

He returned fresh and scrubbed clean from head to toe, that as soon as he walked in, the room smelled like the citrusy soap he used. 

He found Rey with her back turned, sitting on the right side of the bed. He heard rustling, she was busy looking for something inside a raggedy tote bag. He crawled on the left and peered over her shoulder with curiosity, letting the opportunity for a snarky remark go.

"What do you have there?" 

She twisted her head at him, a dimpled smile on her face. "Since we were caught up with things, I keep on forgetting to give this back to you." 

In her hand, she produces the hilt of a lightsaber. Not just any lightsaber, it's the one that belonged to Anakin Skywalker, Ben knew not just from appearance, but as soon as it's in his hands, the voice of the Jedi Knight wearing the Republic's insignia suspended in his head, muffled and distant, he heard his grandfather as a General, saw a fleeting image of a beautiful woman calling him "Ani" lovingly, saw a young Togruta saying goodbye, as if it's the last time before she walked away mournfully.

For a second, Ben thought he lived ten years of Anakin's life because of the remnants of emotions the memories brought. However, he was just in his father's quarters, sitting on the bed with Rey by his side. 

He felt her hand squeeze his arm.

“It's yours." 

The hilt is simple, sleek, more functional than aesthetic. A solid chrome, save for the black plate at the bottom. It's mysteriously cold in his possession, heavy not by weight, but by who used to carry it.

Ben unsheathed the lightsaber, the hum of the plasma accompanying the soft blue glow of the blade. Memories of Exegol rushed back to him, somehow, it had felt right wielding it, from his posture, body language and movement, he could tell that something changed. He had moved so freely, so composed, balanced in the Force. 

Ben sheathed it back, smiling at Rey. 

"Thank you." 

He watched as she works with something in her head. It's in her smile, as small as it appears. She grows quiet, not just from words but with letting him be aware of her thoughts. He doesn't prod her though, as she sucks in an inhale and tells her himself.

"Leia's lightsaber. I-I'm so sorry, Ben. I thought I had it clipped on me but I..." She shakes her head, teary-eyed and guilty. "I think I left it back in Exegol." 

He quickly pulled her into his arms, whispering words of comfort.

It must mean something to him, surely the lightsaber would have meant a lot. But he also knew that his mother wouldn't have pursued the Jedi path. She had expressed her opinions in the past that she doesn't see herself becoming one. Luke had been enough.

And surely, there are other things he could associate his mother with. It doesn't have to be her lightsaber. 

"It's okay, Rey. I'm not mad, okay?" He reassures her through their bond, though he could still sense her doubting him.

A bright idea came to mind. 

"Can I braid your hair?" 

The question must have been bizarre to her because she finally turns to face him with a weirded look. Still, to indulge him, she nods her head wordlessly, turning to face away from him while he disentangled her hair from its three signature confines. 

"Your hair's gotten pretty long," He commented, marveling at the silkiness in between his fingers. It reaches up to the middle of her back now, the perfect length for one particular braid in mind. 

"How do you know how to do this?" She asked, unable to hide the surprise in her voice, because of all things, it was hard to imagine him being an expert around hair braiding.

Though, admittedly he was out of practice. It has been so long since Leia had explained and taught him the intricacies of the traditional Alderaanian braids. 

While parting her hair from the base of her head before decidedly speaking, he lets his fingers do all the work.

"My mom's homeworld. Alderaanian braids could mean and symbolize many different things. She taught me a few... Even braided my hair a lot as a kid since I refused to let them cut my hair," He explained, fond of the memory. 

Right now, he's doing a high braided ponytail. It's meant to be simple so that men who courted women could do it as a sign of affection. 

"Then what does this mean?" She delicately touched her tangled hair. He was almost done. 

"I'll keep it a secret for now, but we should probably go to sleep." He smiled, securing her hair with one of the elastics. 

Ben left no room for a chance to elaborate as he crawled on his side of the bed. Meanwhile, Rey pouted like a child but decidedly doesn't press him for anything considering he was right. It was becoming late and neither of them doesn't want to wake up tired.

So, as automatic as flipping the light switch off without leaving the bed, she kissed him good night and pressed herself close to his side, telling him wordlessly to wrap her in his embrace.

He was becoming fond of the knowledge that despite Rey's tough as nails exterior, at the end of the day, she always likes for him to touch her and he would always deliver.

Ben likes being proven that they made it together, hearts beating in sync and bodies warm with life. Contentment hummed between them as sleep slowly grew heavy on their lids. 

* * *

He woke up feeling lethargic. But that was only because of how undisturbed he was for the first time in many moons. He didn't have those distant, dark voices in his head or being jostled back to consciousness at midnight, trying to pick nightmares from reality apart.

He didn't have any of those, but he also woke up alone. How does she keep waking up before him anyway? 

Well, he had nothing better to do by staying here. It was time for him to start the day whether he wanted to or not. 

Surprisingly, he couldn't find it in himself to dread the moment. What happened back there at the cafeteria had only served its purpose to do better. Like what everyone's telling him, he needs to work hard. He can't be flinching at every possible scenario where he played a hand in someone's pain and loss, but that shouldn't mean he doesn't feel guilty and remorseful of what happened, that just means he has to try harder. 

It has only taken him five minutes of having a conversation with himself to feel immensely determined.

And so, as soon as he freshened up, he was definitely up for any task Poe may throw at him no matter how difficult and tedious it was going to be. He just knows that the pilot would do something like that, and with good reason. He isn't going to complain and whine about it. 

Taking the quickest route to get outside, he stopped short to see both his Uncle Chewie and Rey eating breakfast together at the communal lounge.

He didn't even bother to probe his awareness outwards to check if she was still in the ship, so as soon as he saw her, his entire face lit up. 

"Oh, good! You're finally awake. It was getting very difficult to bat Chewie's hands away from your Canron," She shoots a dirty look at the Wookie innocently stuffing his face with his half finished plate.

“Have a seat." 

He doesn't take his eyes away from her as he gladly took his spot beside her, sandwiching her in the middle.

Her hair is still braided and his heart swells just a little now that he could see her in perfect daylight. It has gotten a little bit wayward, but nothing would have made her less beautiful. 

"What?" 

He hummed in response, playing with the tail end of her hair.

"The braid suits you."

In his mind, he slyly taps into her thoughts to voice out more compliments, things he couldn't say out loud without alerting his uncle from teasing him, considering he was already receiving knowing looks from the Wookie. 

"Just eat your breakfast. You don't want to be late." She grumbled, averting her gaze away while her flustered cheeks betray her. 

With a breathy chuckle, he pulls away and behaves himself.

He eats and participates in the easygoing conversation between them. Rey asks Uncle Chewie if he was able to fix the power converter of the ship and if he needed any help while his uncle answered that he had it under control, not wanting to keep her apart from his nephew for too long. She tried to protest but Ben nonchalantly agreed. This has been the most time he actually conversed actively, and with each interaction, it was becoming easier and easier to fall into who he is without the mask and the voices in his head. 

Unfortunately, as much as he wants to stay longer, he only had a few minutes left to get ready, and that's decidedly enough to make it to the main hangar in time.

Chewing the last bite of his Canron, he quickly washes it down with water.

"I need to get ready," He speedily slid out of the booth, excusing himself. 

But then his uncle stood up with him, almost knocking over his own tray weren't it for Rey's fast reflexes to steady the table as he howled a response.

"Follow you? Why?" 

Uncle Chewie didn't elaborate, just inquired that he should trust his good old uncle before walking ahead of him towards the corridor, expecting his nephew to trail behind him. 

"Uncle Chewie, I don't have time for this. I'm going to be late—“

Again, the Wookie only threw a massive arm over Ben's shoulder, he was almost startled by the pressing weight keeping him in place with nowhere else to go, and leaving Rey alone to clean up afterwards.

Ben could only give her an apologetic look, but she didn't really mind. It was nice to see the two bickering, knowing that they have an established familial relationship. He was meant to be this way; carefree and laidback, lean and loose, like his father. 

It's only made more apparent when a few minutes later, he emerges like the reincarnation of the Falcon's captain. 

Ben wore some fitted brown trousers and a white sleeved tunic beneath a darker pocketed vest. He was still fastening a leathery brown holster around his waist as a belt, adjusting the buckle with avid concentration.

Nobody would doubt that he is Han Solo's son this way and honestly, she couldn't deny how the look better suited him. The fabric stretched over the bulk of his form, fitting him like a glove.

"You look just like him," She commented, not sounding like herself for a moment. 

Still fastening the atrocious buckle, he pursed his lips. 

"Is that a good thing?" He missed the enamored tone in her voice, because he heard enough of Leia often associating the brusque look during Han’s smuggling days. It doesn't help that Uncle Chewie stood not so far behind, admiring him like his handiwork. 

The silence ensured him no confidence. Maybe he looks okay, maybe he looks terrible. He believed he's at least decent and that's good enough for him.

But for no reason other than he didn't know what else to do with his hands, he began randomly patting himself for any unwanted particles even though his uncle assured him that the clothes were clean. That apt attention hadn't prepared him from Rey's sudden bold move. 

She stood closely and without even doing anything else, he felt her appreciative glance over like a physical touch. 

"It suits you." She uttered, throwing the cadence of his own words back at him, even doing the same thing as telling him more in her head and letting his own awareness hear them.

Ben grows red in pale comparison to what he's wearing and by the time he recovered enough to respond, she had turned on her heel, walking out of the ship with Uncle Chewie alongside her.

' _That vixen.'_ "Wait!" 

Bewildered, he marches to catch up with them. 

"What was the last thing you said? Did you just say something in another language?"

She most definitely did, but he had no idea what. It sounded so thick, rolling off the tongue in between syllables smoothly, especially in her voice.

It could be Mando'a, though he would have recognized a word or two, at east. It can't be Huttese and Rodese, it would have been familiar because of his father, so it's an entirely different thing.

Rey being fluent in another language is interesting, and quite frankly, it's an attractive trait to have. Turns out there's still a lot of things he doesn't know about her, and he's thrilled to uncover every single detail. 

"What did you say?" He firmly demanded as they were passing by a clearing dirt path and Rey turned to him while his Uncle Chewie greeted more and more people that were passing by.

"I'm going to help Rose with the communications array today, so I have to go. Ben, be good, and don't fight with anyone, okay?" She rests a delicate hand over his chest, over the white cotton fabric of his shirt, tapping a finger lightly.

"I'll swing by with lunch later." She swiftly pressed her lips on his cheek, much to his dismay, it was over too soon before he could respond as she jogged in another direction. 

"But Rey," He cupped his hands over his mouth, still insistent. "What did you say?!”

She laughed, hands behind her back with a cheeky smile that rivaled the sun.

“I'll keep it a secret for now, but we should get to work!" She twists back around, missing how she had rendered him perplexed a second time. 

He pursed his lips at her departing back, the light skip in her step; last night with his fingers in her hair resurfacing in his mind, serving him a taste of his own medicine. The wink over her shoulder had only reinforced his speculation. 

There's going to be more of that in the future, isn't there? 

Ben could hardly wait. 

Uncle Chewie called him over, but not without missing the opportunity to tease him about Rey, somehow setting off into a narrative from his childhood, that when he was less than ten years old, he had sprang it out as good news at the dinner table one random evening that he'd marry someone as beautiful and brilliant like his mother. Apparently, it only took him twenty seven years to find her.

He shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders in a non-comical way.

“Oh, shut it, you big oaf. Let’s just go before flyboy gets mad at us.”

Uncle Chewie responded with a series of garbled howls, which is the Wookie's equivalent of laughter as he pets on Ben's head affectionately. 

Dodge as he might, his uncle was impeccably bigger and had an equally large vicinity to keep messing with his hair, so by the time they reached their destination, Ben looked like he just rolled out of bed, instead of the fresh and poised look he was going for. ‘ _So much for trying on his first day_.’ He thought to himself spitefully. 

Together, they walked inside like a single unit.

It wasn't actually difficult for Ben to realize that the only reason he wasn't being approached was because of the presence of his seven feet and three inches tall companion stomping beside him. On better days he would appreciate his uncle's friendly company, but at the moment, it was probably best to go alone. He was just about to apprise him when a voice he's starting to get familiar with called after them. 

Ben sighed, bracing himself upon Poe Dameron's approach. 

"Chewie, what a pleasant surprise! I can’t say you looked any different,” 

His uncle responded in kind, but not without confusing Ben in the process. What did the pilot mean? They exchanged a few more jokes at each other before Ben turned to him in question.

But then, Poe whistled in his direction the next, perusing him up and down with his arms crossed over his chest. 

"You'll be spending most of your time beneath X-wings and crouched under cockpits. I wouldn't wear my best clothes if I were you."

Ben repressed the urge to roll his eyes at the slightly condescending advice. He reminds himself of what Rey had told him. _Be good_ —is easier said than done but he was going to uphold it. 

He forced a closed-lipped smile. 

"Dully noted, General.” 

Calling him by his title hadn’t served its purpose as a term of respect, however. The tension between them hasn’t dissipated, it seems. Poe flashed him with a warning look, but he was smart enough to ignore his jab, dropping the languid stance in favor of an authoritative one, reminding Ben that he is his superior officer. 

“Follow me.”

Poe took the lead into the deeper parts of the site. Because there were several smaller branches attached from the central bay, they even entered from a smaller bike repair room before getting into the much larger and wider main hangar.

The room is seven storeys high, at the very least, which is by building standard, would be able to accommodate a TIE fighter at an operative run. Different fighters and smaller freight ships varying in size and shape took Ben’s attention left and right. If he were twenty years younger, being around such many rated zero-point-four ships would have been a dream come true. 

They stop short from another entrance of a branching bay, the back of a T-70 X-wing in full display before them. 

Poe turned to face them, producing a holopad in one hand. 

"Today, you will be in charge to take care of starfighters with manual control defects. For some reason, R2 units couldn’t calibrate the systems themselves. You can talk to Evan or Sans to spare more details since I don’t have the time to do any of that, but I assume having Chewie around would make your job much easier, yeah?” 

Poe instructions were direct to the point enough. It’s common knowledge that Ben doesn’t do well with collaborative work, but he is willing to take the General’s advice as a last resort if the situation calls for a desperate measure. 

Ben nods his head in understanding before he was handed the holopad with all the needed information of the ships written in text, Poe tapped a particular button and took him to a verification center. 

“Log in with your name and your check-in time as the password. You can access the files at any given time, but don’t get caught doing nothing for too long by your superior officer,”

Poe was back to throw him the attitude that he couldn’t almost help himself from putting his foot where his mouth is as he said, 

"And what about you, General? Are you going to stand watch and make sure I do my job, correctly?” 

Surprisingly, Poe doesn’t scowl or flare his nostrils at him. Instead, he laughs aloud, disarming whatever senseless snarky remark Ben had prepared because clearly, the pilot is enjoying something that he doesn’t fully understand. 

Yet. 

What was so funny? 

"You're going to wish that’s what happens. But unfortunately, you’re under Lieutenant Connix’s wing.” 

Ben had absolutely no idea what Poe meant by that, but as a woman wearing a dark beige uniform with the Resistance’s insignia tailored over the overcoat of her tunic shook his hand and introduced herself as Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix, he was about to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Okay, I don’t know what came over me, I just like the idea of Chewie giving Ben a Han Solo makeover because his clothes are just lying around the Falcon hahaha I needed an excuse for Ben to wear Han’s ROTJ outfit okay?? hahhaha 
> 
> Next chapter is going to be interesting, including the one after that one😉😉
> 
> See you soon!


	11. Part 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben deals with a bit of trouble and Rey asks something from him.

There's a light skip to her step and Rey has always been an efficient walker because time was equally valuable with the amount of work she could accomplish. She's never been this carefree, this laidback and relaxed. Sure, she can appreciate small moments of clarity like growing her own nightblossoms or experiencing the drizzle of rain for the first time but it's never a full day of exuberance. She has never been this elated to do more tech work, and it doesn't have anything to do with the war being over and has everything to do with a certain man of large built working in the opposite direction. 

"Hi, Rey." 

"Good morning!" She greeted cheerfully, not even noticing how one of the technicians gave her a strange look as she crossed the corridor leading to the communications array. 

She easily spots Rose crouched under one of the control boards at the center of the room, disassembling something in a tiny compartment with apt attention. Rey had to clear her throat twice before the busy woman acknowledged her presence. 

"Rey, good morn—woah," Her greeting cuts off short to accommodate a staggered expression. "Who did your hair?" 

It was amazing how quickly she reacts towards the simple question. She almost forgot about that. Rey maintains her composure although her entire face started to heat up, she dodges one of Rose's infamous intrigued looks by grabbing one of the toolbox resting on a ferrocrete surface. 

"Ben." She answered rather timidly, trying too hard not to get affected by mentioning his mere name. 

Although Rose is already a little bit suspicious. "Ah. As expected but still surprising. It makes sense though, doesn't it? His own hair looks as shiny as a medal." 

Rey attempts for a small smile as she decided to fix the control board the one next to Rose. 

"I like it. He did good," Then her friend's gaze dropped lower. She was going to acknowledge the absence of her arm bands, but something stark caught her attention instead. "Hm. He didn't do a great job at hiding the bruise on your neck though."

At Rose's blunt comment, Rey grew all the more flustered as she tried to cover the indecent sight hurriedly. It was not a bold decision on her part to wear a low collared tunic for today. Kriff. she had clearly forgotten that Ben did in fact put his mouth on the column of her neck and it's taking every bit of control not to squirm under her friend's watchful gaze. 

"By the Holy Stars, Rey! Did he try to maul you to death? It looks more like a Hoover devoured you than it is a harmless hickey." 

It was no use trying to hide it, however, and it's also clear to her that Rose is enjoying this. All could have been easily avoided if Ben had said a word about it, but obviously that son of a Bantha would keep that important detail to himself for his own amusement or just so opportunities to tease her would arise when her friends take one good look at her. Oh, he was going to pay...

"I'm just glad I didn't run into Finn or Poe yet." She shuddered at the mere thought. She'll just have to change into something more conservative later on. 

Rose laughed, shaking her head in good mirth. 

"But all jokes aside, is he your boyfriend now?" 

Rey busied herself with the task at hand so she didn't have to look at her friend while she spoke. 

"Why is everyone asking me that question?" She grumbled, pursing her lips. First, it was the council, then it was Finn after the incident at the cafeteria. Now, it's Rose. Sure, she assured Ben that she didn't care what people would think, but it doesn't get any less infuriating when they ask. 

"I can't speak for everyone but I'm more confused by when this started happening, you know?" Rose shrugged. "It just seemed a little weird."

She can understand where her question is coming from. It is odd to think about from an outsider's perspective; how she feared Kylo Ren upon her first encounter, from avoiding his advances to turn her to the dark side, to the now, where she's getting hickeys from him. 

They wouldn't really understand what they have. And what they can't understand will always result to more questions. That is what she's trying to avoid in the first place. She doesn't want her connection with Ben to be examined closely with a magnifying glass. 

"Can we not talk about this now, please?" She had no definite answer anyway. With everything that has happened, they haven't had that conversation yet.

"Okay, okay." Rose's tone implied that she was thankfully going to leave her alone about Ben. Clearly, he's a sensitive topic to bring up even if she considered herself in a bright mood today. 

* * *

"Poe already briefed you on your task for today?" 

He nods his head politely, following Lieutenant Kaydel's lead to the front of the starfighter.

"I'm assuming you know something about manual control defects?" She gives him an expectant look. 

Her approach, while refreshing, also startled him. He doesn't sense an ounce of trepidation on her part, which is more than he could ask for, considering how people were walking on eggshells around him. He sensed something else completely; she isn't afraid nor does she resent him. She's auspicious, looking at him like a teacher would to her student, though she can't be older than him. 

He nods his head again. "Which one? The one with an exchange coupling or without?" 

It was a genuine question, because they were two very different types of problem to deal with, but she raised him a brow as if he said something worthy to be bewildered about. 

"You already know a lot more than half the crew. But can we say the same in actual practice?" She merely gave him a glance before retrieving a holopad, giving it a few scrolls.

"Three T-70 fighters sustained a lot of damage from blaster cannon shots but they were luckily retrieved with a coupling defect." She paused as she handed the device for him to study. 

"Can you handle three of them? I'm putting a lot of faith in you on this." She firmly stated while he read its reported data. 

_T-70 X-Wing starfighter. S-foil design with modified split engines for better maneuverability. Last piloted by Cinzo Betill (deceased), Nadia Durro and Gil Felth, respectively. Retrieved three days after the Battle in Exegol..._

"Yes. I can handle this." He answered determinedly, already working through multiple areas in his head. It has been a while since he fixed a ship with his bare hands, but the most of it managed to retain itself as a distant memory. 

"Excellent. I'm giving you until five to finish. That's clearly more than enough time for a break or two, so I don't want to hear any extension complaint. Do I make myself clear?" 

"Yes, Lieutenant." 

He accepts her austere ways whole-heartedly. It's an admirable trait to have in her position, it just means she takes her role seriously, trusts in the competency of her crew, which he aspires not to break any time soon. This is his chance to prove himself. 

"Alright. I'll see you in five." She nods only once before she heads out in another direction, probably to attend to other field assignments in her bustling schedule.

Right. 

"So, Uncle Chewie?" 

The Wookie peered from the hull of the middle fighter with a curious tilt of his head, growling. 

"I reckon you won't be able to help me on this one?" Just by mere observation alone, he knew his uncle wouldn't be able to fit underneath the hull of the ship. There's not going to be much room for Chewie to work with, especially when he'll be working on very tiny circuit compartments hidden behind a bunch of wirings.

"Yes, I agree. You could be another pair of extra hands for someone else. Go do that." 

Chewie musses up his hair one final time with a roar of goodbye before heading out to the main hangar bay. 

“Right. I guess I’ll start.” 

He gathered the tools he needed to pry the underbelly of the hull wide open, but not without discarding the vest first.

Poe happens to be right about one thing. Eventually he’ll get dirty and greasy, Chewie wouldn’t be too happy to stain his dad’s clothes. 

Lowering himself flat on his back on the creeper, he slid beneath the first starfighter, switching his head lamp on. 

He began to work. 

Through the simple tasks of unscrewing bolts and carefully avoiding the delicate wiring, he is quietly transported back to one of his father’s earlier lessons, which involved a landspeeder than anything else.

_“Alright, kid. What we're going to do today is that you're going to help me disassemble the generator housing right there," Han points a finger at the metallic backside of the speeder in between the middle turbine engine and the left. "See the metal gap of the covering? What do you think do we need to remove it?"_

_Han bounces his four footed mini me in his arms while walking towards the tool box where young Ben could inspect the various tools laid out on the workbench with attentive eyes, thumb in his mouth before pointing on a schrader._

_He looks at his dad for approval, who easily grins at him, clearly pleased as he grabs the object, letting him touch it for a couple seconds before using it on the corner bolts of the sealed cover._

_"Very good. I know your mother will get mad at me for sneaking you out again, but who wants to learn math anyway? It's more fun to learn to fix ships with dad, isn't it?"_

_The best his son could do, who's still incapable of speech is babble incoherently while clapping his chubby hands together, such tiny fingers Han would pretend to bite from time to time. But right now, he just makes him watch how to use the funny looking tool._

_"Now this is pretty straightforward. You're a smart boy like me, I'm sure you learned which screw to use based on the bolts. Right?" Han only continued when he received a response resembling a nod. "But here's the hard part. The hard part is you have to be very careful in removing the cover, because what's inside is very delicate to handle. I will probably keep saying this, but treat the cover as how you'd treat your lady. Remember that."_

_Feeling like Han is receiving a meaningful look behind Ben's dark wide eyes after a few seconds, he reiterates himself. "I know, I know. It's very uncharacteristic coming from someone married to a fierce woman, but you'll understand when you're older."_

_They continued to completely dislodge the parts they need for another ship until midday, and like Han predicted, Leia got mad at him since Ben missed a full day with his tutoring droid._

_It was all worth it though. Ben would remember this for the decades to come._

It's a pretty mundane day to be remembering in vivid detail but he thought he finally understood what his dad meant. 

With soft ministrations as he successfully removed the bolts, he began to pry the cover as how he'd hold Rey. He was taking his time, making sure that he doesn't touch anything or else one wrong move promises new problems. 

' _Steady... Steady... Steady.'_ Repeated like a mantra. 

**Zap!**

The cover slips from his grasp and hits the side of his head. 

Though he feels a startling electric shock travel from his shin upwards first in a blink of an eye. 

"Ow!" 

_'What in blazes was that?!'_ He rolls himself from beneath the hull, looking around for anything suspicious. 

Nothing was out of place, however. No one is paying him any mind, his area is relatively deserted. 

He frowned. 

All he got is a small glimpse of a short white object from the corner of his eye. 

It could be anything aside from people, of course. 

Now, it got him thinking...

He lowered himself back on the creeper, mustering to be unsuspecting to give the culprit a golden opportunity to test out his hypothesis. He returned to his original position, his frown only managing to slightly deepen at the sight of a chipped coil of a copper wire, probably from accidentally hitting it.

Ben allowed a candid moment to pass, waiting until the threat to be shocked is there, closer than ever. 

Immediately, the taser stops short a hair strand away from hitting his leg again as he extracted himself once more from the hull. 

Only to find his culprit to be spherical in shape with a domed head, less than three feet in height, buzzing cautiously and trembling from his invisible hold.

"The droid..." He murmured, recognizing the BB-series unit almost immediately. After all, in a way, it's what led him to meet Rey. 

He breaks away from his thoughts when the droid started squealing at him angrily, demanding to be set free as if it wasn't trying to electrocute him in the first place. Ben was not really mad for the tiny assault, more curious than anything else because he has never seen an aggressive astromech droid before, unless programmed to, otherwise. 

"Shit! Ow!" He exclaims again, regretting his mindless decision to let go because it purposely rolled over his foot, fleeing the scene. 

The BB-unit is a lot heavier than it looks, definitely. He completely misjudged the little thing. Oh, he definitely bruised a couple of his toes but seeing the rollie completely gone now, he chooses to brush it off as an odd incident before continuing to do his work. 

* * *

By lunchtime, Rey was able to finish fixing four control boards before heading over to the cafeteria to grab her share, including Ben’s. She knows that he has taken a good liking on the moon cake the other day. She’s opted for a bigger slice for him, reasoning that he needs all the nutrition he could get for how laborious it is to work at the hangar bay all day. 

Balancing two trays with her hands, she’s greeted by a desolate hall, save for the few who had the same idea to have lunch on their workstation. She passed by a couple of people, but none of them were Ben. 

No matter. She extends her awareness outwards to search for him. 

He’s at bay thirty four, and he was not alone. There were at least ten people all over the wide room. Some were sitting cross-legged on the floor while others conversed with their companions. 

Meanwhile, she found Ben on his own, tinkering under a T-70. 

“Ben?” She settles the trays on the gigantic crates beside his workbench. 

The clanking noises stopped, signaling that he’s probably getting up. She busied herself by removing the caps of their drinks, making sure nothing was out of place.

“I noticed how much you enjoyed the moon cake so I got you a bigger piece because—oh!” 

She squeaked once she felt herself being tugged into a warm embrace. Strong arms wrapping around her waist from behind as he nosed her neck, sighing in relief. 

For a second, there was a moment of clarity that she couldn’t help but enjoy. Closing her eyes and marveling at the safety of being wrapped up so securely in his hold. 

“Finally, you’re here.” 

In the middle of his gentle rocking, she snorts at his words. 

“I told you I’d be back around lunchtime.” She pats his arms. “Come on. Wash your hands and let’s eat. The food will get cold.” It has already taken a good chunk of time just to walk here and a cold moon cake isn’t as good as being fresh out of the oven.

Except Ben doesn’t listen to her. In fact, he holds her against him tighter. 

“Ben,” She warns, a deep blush soon coloring her cheeks, looking around anxiously in case someone sees them in this intimate position. 

Nothing so far. But she’s not going to wait around until that happens. 

“Just a little longer.” He whispered, and it’s the exhausted tone of his voice that stops her squirming. 

She cranes her neck just a bit, sighing when she felt him through their bond. He doesn’t even try to hide it from her. 

“You’re tired.” 

“I’m not,” He denies. “Although...” 

Ben decided to let go of her, but only to gesture his head at BB-8 standing a few meters away from them. 

“That little troublemaker has been keeping me from doing my job,” He chuckles good-naturedly, clearly fascinated at its deviousness. “Who’s its keeper?”

Rey frowned. She has never encountered such problems with BB-8 before, though she could see that the droid’s pointed taser is out like a weapon. 

“Poe’s been busy these days. Maybe he forgot to take BB-8 to the maintenance bay.” 

“Oh.” He makes his way over to the sinks mounted over the wall across them, he turns around, but Rey already saw that all traces of his amusement vanished, expression cooled in indifference as she washed her own hands beside him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I was thinking that there’s a software node installed in its system. But it turns out it’s because I hurt its keeper.” 

She gets it now. BB-series droids create strong loyalty bonds with their keepers. They were just like humans in a way. Of course the droid wouldn’t stand watch and do nothing upon seeing the man responsible for hurting Poe. 

“Ben,” He walks ahead of her towards their trays. 

“It’s okay. It shouldn’t take long to finish the two fighters. I’ll just have to work extra hard.” 

She took a seat beside him, resting her plate over her lap with a concerned look on her face. It can’t be helped. It’s only his first day after all. 

“But don’t forget to rest. Okay? Even former Supreme Leaders get tired.” 

He chuckles at her attempt of a joke, taking mouthfuls of his food. At least she got a tiny smile out of him, it's barely there but it counts to her. 

"What about you? Tell me about your day." 

Rey hums furtively, which reminds her... "Oh, I didn't just come here for us to eat lunch together. We have to talk about something."

Her inquiry immediately grips his attention as he raises her a brow in question, wordlessly telling her to go on. 

"I was with Rose earlier and she asked me something about you," This is where the hard part will play out. She can already hear her own blood slowly getting louder in her ears and Ben's gaze intensely staring at her own. 

She gulped. Here goes...

"She asked if-if you were my boyfriend," She holds up a finger, knowing he's going to react and probably say something that wouldn't help her steady train of thought. "Now, before you say anything, what we are has never been a problem to me. I can say that you are someone that I..."

She cuts herself short from revealing anything too deep, not ready for that talk. _Yet._

"—Really care about and that I'm someone you really care about as well. None of that matters when the reason she asked was because of the braid and because of this." 

Rey tears her gaze away from him as she exposed the side of her neck with the love bite. It has probably progressed in color. When she looked in the mirror as she went for a change of clothes, it was just beginning to purple. Right now, it's probably darker, more prominent. 

She hissed when he prods the bruise with a firm finger, glaring at him, only to be met by a dark look in his eyes, a hard contrast on how he became much gentler, passing the pad of his thumb over the sensitive skin. 

She pulls back again. 

"I'm sorry. I got pretty carried away last night. You were just so mesmerizing," He drops his hand, continuing to gaze at her. "You still are now." 

Stomach plummeting down her ankles, she stares at her half-finished plate bashfully. 

"You left a mark, you damn animal! And you don't even sound sorry."

"Sweetheart, I just don't understand why that's a bad thing." He admitted. "And quite frankly, if someone were to ask me, I'd tell them that you're my soulmate. _Mine_. My Rey." 

Rey hates how her pulse just jumps. Her heart soars, flutters. It aches when she's not touching or kissing him. Her lips parted to accommodate a soundless gasp. How could he say such things to her so nonchalant yet so reverently? 

"Listen, I'm happy to hear such words coming from you. I'm sure you know how I feel by now. But people will start asking how it all started and that's a problem for another day, for another time." She could sense him tampering his displeasure, but he doesn't say anything against her. 

"Then what do you think should we do?"

"I know what I said last time, but I think—I think we should take things slow. For now at least."

She had thought about it for a long time while making her way here. They don't need to keep giving people a reason to prod into their relationship. 

"Take things slow..." He echoed, weighing what the suggestion entails for him. 

"Yes. We'll have to be careful with how we act around everyone." 

He grimaced as if he found something he didn't like. 

"Does that mean I'm not allowed to kiss and hug you?" 

Color blooms on her cheeks down to the rest of her neck. "Not in public, no. We can't keep giving them reasons to ask us about each other. You're still going on trial." 

At the significant reminder, Rey felt his response to fight vanish thickly.

He huffs a frustrated breath. "I can't even hold your hand?"

She felt a surge of emotions threatening to pry her ribcage open. He sounded so broken, in pain for even lending his voice to the words. He gravitated towards holding her hand like a natural reflex. He likes doing it, initiates it first just so, because he can. 

Rey couldn't trust herself to speak, knowing there's a great chance that she would break almost immediately and take it back. She likes holding his hand too.

She chose to offer him a small, sheepish smile in return. 

It can't be helped. He was probably planning to take her hand within the duration of their lunch together, and now, he had to stop himself. 

"This sucks." 

She giggles at his current brooding. He could easily remind her of Kylo Ren during the fleeting moments of the Force connecting them from across the galaxy, almost biting at the inside of his cheeks as one of his particular habits. 

"It could be worse." 

"Don't you dare say I can't even look at you." He warned, although he was a little apprehensive at the possibility. 

She rolled her eyes. 

"No, nothing like that. I don't want us to act like strangers. It's just when we're out in public. It can't be that hard, right?" She reassured once more. 

"Trust me, this is torture for me, sweetheart." He emphasized his point by looking at her with yearning, felt it through with the same intensity in the throne room a forever ago. 

Her chest heaved, feeling dizzy over how much Ben could feel. She had the simple grasp of how tedious it is to center yourself from emotions in Jedi training, it must be tenfold more difficult for him when he's very responsive to his feelings, drawing them further instead of repressing or detaching.

"But if you think this would help then we'll go with your plan. I can slow down." She shoots him a pensive look and he falters, looking away, a bit embarrassed. "Or I'll try at least."

She accepts his answer with a nod, returning to her meal.

"Under one condition." 

"Okay?" 

"I want to keep braiding your hair. Non-negotiable." 

She rolls her eyes once more at his impeccable demand. 

"Fine." It's not like she doesn't like him doing it. He was good at it, and the fascinating custom of hair braiding is significantly important to Ben, so it's important to her too. 

They finish the rest of their lunch while talking about everything within nothing or nothing within everything, making the most of their time together. 

* * *

Ben immediately got back to work, as did Rey. They waved a short goodbye and agreed to meet at the cafeteria for dinner later on. 

Although, he isn't as enthusiastic like how this day started. He lost half of his friskiness; the random whistling in between rewiring, the light skip in his step. 

After what he talked about with Rey, he can't help himself from wallowing silently as he worked on the second fighter. And how he was a little bit behind with progress would have alarmed him for someone who highly valued proficiency, but for once, he was distracted. 

Thoughts of Rey filled his head. Consciously, they were rather drastic. He thought of dropping what he was doing and running up to Rey, doing something pretty impulsive like cause a scene and kiss her right in front of nameless strangers. He thought about how that's a terrible and stupid idea, that would make things worse, chiding his own traitorous brain for such suggestions. He thought about how long it would take for it to be socially acceptable to be associated with Rey, and then wallowing some more that no one knows for sure since there is no definite day for his trial. 

It's a whole ordeal entirely. 

He sighed heavily as he recreated the first step of removing the cover beneath the hull. 

One thing at a time. He has a job to do. 

Ben would like to say that doing the same thing twice would make it any easier, but that was only if there was no particular BB-series droid disrupting him at every turn. First, it was subtle. Loosening bolts, short fuses, nav malfunction. Fortunately and unfortunately for him, they only took less than ten minutes to fix. Then, it escalated from there. No longer hiding the rollie's malicious intentions. 

He bit the inside of his cheeks in frustration, a tiny bit annoyed, he wasn't going to lie to himself. 

Is this what sabotage feels like? 

It sucks when he's on the other receiving end of it. Because he played a hand in saboteur missions before, and never the other way around. Even on a much smaller case as losing a couple of tools that should be on his workbench, he didn't expect that it's mildly getting under his skin. 

Alright, breathe. 

' _You need to calm down, Ben.'_ He reminded himself, utilizing the breathing exercises from his Jedi training. 

Well, that only helped a little, just enough to set his mind straight. _'That's fine. Not the end of the galaxy. You can just borrow a schrader and an alloy mallet from someone else.'_

He looks around him. There were a couple of people he could approach. He definitely dreaded that he's about to do this, but this sounds like a solid plan. The only plan, really. The droid was nowhere to be found anyway. 

Ben makes his way to the technician closest to him from across the bay. With his back turned, shoulder length graying hair and cotton garbs, he stands behind him, hands in his pockets, hoping his stance was unassuming and non-threatening as much as possible. 

"Um, excuse me?" 

He turns around, holding a blowtorch and his protective helmet. 

Ben immediately tensed, wincing to himself, because of all the people around him, he managed to make the unluckiest choice. 

"What do you want?" Sans Fallon growled, glaring at him almost immediately. 

Well, Ben was already here. He already came over in his area of responsibility, disrupted him from what seems to be a laborious narrative heating field. There's no turning back now. 

"I'm sorry for the interruption, but a droid has taken some of my tools from the workbench and I was wondering if I could borrow from you." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. 

"I don't see why this is my fucking problem. Go ask someone else and leave me alone." Sans deliberately shoved past him, continuing to do his job on the other side of the ship. 

He sighed heavily.

Just as expected. He wasn't counting on it. 

Repeat that eleven more times and he returns to his station, completely empty-handed. 

To be fair, not all of them were as angry as Sans, some of them were rightfully wary of him and his presence, but that was about it. 

It isn't as bad, he thinks. 

But what would he do now? Without those tools, he wouldn't be able to finish his tasks. 

There's probably a supply and equipment room somewhere, there has to be, then again he wouldn't know where to look. And he doesn't want to leave his area either, that would open an opportunity to sabotage him while he's gone. 

He sighed in resignation. 

"The lieutenant wouldn't like this." 

And that would be a gross warning understatement three hours later. 

* * *

Somehow, the air felt tense and too thick to be breathable. It was eerie. Bit by bit, people were beginning to pack up and leave the hangar after completing their tasks. Whereas, he simply stayed behind, sitting on the floor with his legs bent, waiting for his impending doom to arrive in the form of a woman of average height and an officer's uniform. 

She sauntered into the room with a purpose. Gaze piercing through the holopad in her hands, she’s probably gathering data from their reports, making sure everything was up to schedule. 

Well, here goes. 

Ben takes a deep breath before striding in her direction. 

“I’m assuming you stayed after because you did such an excellent job with the fighters and you’re here to personally tell me.” She started without looking up from the pad. 

He winces inwardly. This is going to be bad. She probably already knows and she just wants him to say it out loud. 

“Not at all.” He laughed nervously. 

This got her attention. She snaps her head forward, locking gazes with him.

“No? Explain.” 

The command in her tone made him visibly gulp. 

“I had a slight problem with a particular droid, which has been keeping me from doing my job...” He continued. Although, the more he explained himself, the lesser she became interested to listen. 

She was rubbing at her temples with her fingers as if it’d help subside an approaching headache, and he can see how this is frustrating for her, he pretty much did a terrible job at something that should come easy to him.

It’s frustrating to him too. 

“Solo, with all due respect, I do not care for any excuses that you have. But those fighters I entrusted you with are the only ones with the modified split engines," She jabs a sharp finger over his chest, gritting her teeth. "Thanks to you we have to delay a relay mission set for Felucia tomorrow." 

He lowered his head in shame, mortified at how humiliating it is to be berated in front of people passing by them. He could feel his entire face heating up at the curious stares, putting a bitter taste in his mouth. He was bad at accepting attention when it becomes too much, as a growing teen, he found it extremely hard with his growth spurt and puberty, in general. But now as an adult, he hasn't outgrew from the feeling. 

"I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry to me. Say sorry to the squadron and the rest of the operative pilots who had to adjust because of your incompetence." She retorted sharply, clicking her tongue in disapproval for his apology. 

He smacked his lips together. 

Ben learned to keep his mouth shut as the seconds ticked, as more and more people left, that when he raised his head, they were the only ones left.

Lieutenant Kaydel doesn't seem bothered by the awkwardness between them. She simply continues to perform her job, assessing with the holopad while he just stood there, wondering if he should best be going or not. 

He was so lost for a moment. 

"The reason I assigned you on this task is the same for everybody else." She spoke up, less harsh but the firm intent is still there. "You've got all your limbs intact and I'm assuming you have a working brain over your shoulders." 

It's a pretty substandard way for task selection. First Order is most definitely very different from the Resistance, then again there was a huge difference between volunteers and hired labor. 

Still, he had a hard time not asking the question. "Isn't that counterintuitive?" 

Many things could go terribly wrong. But he doesn't need to be lecturing a superior officer for that. 

The question doesn't offend Lieutenant Kaydel as she looked up from him, shooting him with a speculative stare. 

"I asked if you could do it beforehand, didn't I?" 

He nods his head. 

"Then I took your word for it." She responded with a surety. "Things are very different around here, Solo." She added as if she was able to read his mind. 

He jammed his hands in his pockets casually. Maybe he'll just have to wait to be dismissed. 

"Alright since you're not done with your task despite the reasonable amount of time I've given, you'll spend the rest of the day finishing it. And as punishment, you'll clean up right after." 

That doesn't sound so bad. "You mean my workstation?" 

Much to his dismay and surprise, she smirks at him mischievously. 

"You didn't let me finish. I meant the whole hangar." 

The lieutenant saw this as an opportunity to rightfully leave, taking her essential holopad with her.

Wait. That can't be right. That's...

He openly gapes at her, unsure whether she was messing with him or not because despite only being in a branch of a hangar, the entire area is still large, spanning at least forty to thirty meters in diameter. And she doesn't seem to be the type to be humoring him either. She actually left without telling him she wasn't being serious.

This would take him rigorous hours. Half a day if he kept standing watch like a fool.

He won't be running out of things to do now, but at least he can borrow the right tools now without anyone having a say about it. 

With an invigorating sigh, he resumes. 

* * *

Without a droid sabotaging his work, it only took him less than three hours to complete his task. Surely would be less, if he hadn't taken a break to eat when Chewie came up bringing him a tray. Apparently, Rey had sent for him, dinner with her had to wait some other time because she's busy as well. And so, he eats together with his uncle instead. The Wookie isn't bad company, he even offered to help, but Ben assured him that he got this. 

As difficult as this was, he likes having the responsibilities and obligations. To him, being given a purpose to help doesn't sound like a punishment. He's making other people's jobs easier, that's why after sending his uncle away, Ben served more of his time in the hangar than what the lieutenant asked for him to do.

Aside from cleaning up, he also restored other people's work to completion. From Sans' heating field to a meticulous soldering session. From parts replacement to engine cleaning. 

They don’t have to know. 

He offered as much as he can until he was bone deep tired. It's a good kind of tired though, dedicated to productivity, but he's certain as soon as his head hits the pillow, he's just going to pass out. 

It was already approaching midnight by the time he took the route back to the Falcon. Only the walkway lights were on, along with the glimmering moon hovering high and above him. The rest of the facilities were snoozing with the rest of its tenants. 

He relieves himself with a soft sigh upon reaching the Falcon, jogging lightly on his feet. 

He'll still need to come early the following day, but a few hours of shut eyes with Rey is everything he could ask for at the end of the day.

It doesn't sound like much, but that's _home_ right there. 

"Rey?" He called out, perking his ears for a hopeful response while he entered. 

Nothing. 

“Rey.” He tries again, pausing by the corridor to drag his awareness outwards. 

She's not anywhere in the ship.

The bed is empty... Rey isn't here. 

The home he was just expecting isn't actually there to greet him when he enters ~~their~~ quarters. 

He frowned, breathing in deeply. 

Alright, not a big deal. Thing could be worse. He could be back in Exegol, feeling his own life trickling out of him as much as Rey's— _not helping._ Stop it. He doesn't need that image in his head while alive and safe. She probably hadn't gone far, maybe back to where her sleeping quarters are, wherever that is. Sometimes, he had to remind himself that she had a life before he met him and it isn't as bad as he's making it out to be. It didn't change the fact that it was frustrating, nonetheless. 

Taking a deep breath in, he closed his eyes, held it for a moment and then release. Do that a couple more times then he'll probably be fucking convinced that the floor is interesting to stare at. 

He huffed. On top of everything that frustrated him, he also badly needed a shower. 

Ben lifted his head to peer at the doorway of the refresher. He reeked of sweat, grime and motor oil. 

He promises for a brisk one after a moment of eternal pouting. He eventually makes up his mind to set a course for Rey's quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> Okay. This took so long than what was necessary and I have to be honest, I don’t think this is the best one I’ve written. I was very much struggling, this is the best I could come up with before the next two updates which I already have sorted out, so hopefully they might come a bit early. 
> 
> I can’t have an update without a Ben and BB-8 interaction lol 
> 
> Enjoy Ben being a good boy who respects his superior officers. Also, it’s just a headcanon at this point that he’s the clingy one in the relationship and Rey secretly likes it🥰🥰
> 
> See you soon!


	12. Part 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben negotiates with Rey and he continues to work extra hard.

“Rey?” 

Slowly, very slowly, but surely, she is being dragged out of her unconsciousness. Sleep heavy on her lids, exhaustion heavier in her bones as she lazily lifted her eye lids. 

“Rey.” A whisper in the near darkness grips at her more awake. 

What’s going on? Who’s there? 

She pressed a hand over her face to shield her squinting eyes at the slight illumination coming from the moon outside the viewport window. 

It took a while to adjust to the darkness, but when she did, she sluggishly starts making out the lines and shapes from a person’s soft features and sharp angles. 

Soft brown eyes that glinted darker in the moonlight peers down at her, arms carefully folded over the small space of her bunk. 

“Ben?” 

“Hey sweetheart,” 

Her bunk! 

Without a warning, Rey immediately sat up, stricken by panic as she looks around the wide room. 

Jannah, Rose and Kaydel continue to sleep soundly, uninterrupted, much to her envy and relief. She can safely guess that it's the crack of dawn, which meant that she hasn't been sleeping for too long since Ben's sudden arrival. 

“What are you doing here?” She whispered, chastising as she gathered her rumpled blanket with a carefulness of not making a sound, not even a small one. 

“I thought you’d be in our room once I got back but you weren’t there.” He admitted, no shame in his answer as she crossed her arms in indignation. 

Rey forcibly ignored her racing heart and creeping affection from his honest words. To be fair, she misses him too. She rather slept well being in his arms, but it would be too much to ask at a time as tense as this. 

“ _Our_ room?” 

“Yes,” Her breath lightly hitched once his palm caressed the side of her face. “Why weren't you sleeping in our bed instead?” 

“Our bed—Ben! We agreed to take things slow and keep things less suspicious between us and this isn’t the right place to talk about this.”

She keeps a clear eye on the three other girls that surrounded them between two adjacent walls, thankful for the weak lighting because she can feel her face burning up as warm as the heat stirring in the pit of her stomach. 

Carelessly on her part, she was still half-asleep from remembering to filter her emotions around him that he took it as an invitation to push her even further. 

Ben burrowed his nose into the juncture between her shoulder and neck, inhaling deeply to fill his lungs with her essence. Sweat and wildflowers, an unappealing combination and yet, he’s taking his time like she’s an addictive ryll. 

“Ben,”

“I like having you beside me. I sleep better with you." 

One of the girls, Jannah starts turning and mumbling in her sleep. Rey holds her breath, forgets his moment of fondness for a fatal second, waiting for the movement to stop before deciding that they should best be leaving to avoid getting caught. 

She hurriedly pushed him away by the shoulders, gathering herself and the rest of her scrambled, frenetic emotions with her as she quietly pulled them right outside the dormitory. 

His footsteps matched her pace without effort. The dormitory is one of the largest facilities of the base, which makes perfect sense since they're housing a lot of sentient beings still striving to fight or paving their way to get back to their old lives before the war broke out. The first few of families were already given the affirmative to return to their homeworlds or their desired place as a thorough test of a large freighter acquired from Mon Calamari, they were given thirty standard days to make daily status report of their lifestyle before they were released from the organization completely. Someday, Rey is going to be one of those people, who would live liberated and free, preferably somewhere green and very lively. 

But her head isn't in a daydream. Right now, she's worrying over leaving the dormitory undetected. With a lumbering giant behind her, it's pretty challenging. She was just grateful that Ben was actually trying, being careful and quiet as she is. 

"No one's awake, Rey." 

She shushes him, still double checking the T-hallway that they were about to cross by raising her awareness outwards. 

"We wouldn't be in this situation if you weren't so infuriating." She throws him a glare behind her shoulder right before he could fire a secretive smile. This Di'kut had a way of being amused at the wrong moments. 

"And yet you saved me anyway. I'm stuck with you now. That's what you get." 

What does she say to that? 

Not only had he broke down their situation into a simple jab of words, but he also reduced her wits into a muddle of liquid thoughts. 

She mumbles incoherently, cursing in an undertone for his atrocious bluntness. She had to keep reminding herself to watch out for it. It's a part of him that sticks even when he was Kylo Ren. How she's still stunned, Rey had no clue. 

She'll outright blame the lack of sleep for this. 

"Come on. Don't you ever get tired of fighting this?" He asked as soon as they were outside, exasperation dripping from the tone of his voice, but she still hadn't stopped walking briskly until she was certain they were safe and out of earshot. 

_This_ could mean a lot of things, but he didn't have to elaborate what he meant when she could feel the thrum of his feelings just overflowing for her from the rim. Ben Solo is soft-hearted, he feels intensely, more than anyone she knows. Now that he's capable of expressing them, he wears his heart on his sleeve, which is why it's dangerous to get too close and look into his eyes right now. 

She kept her gaze astray. 

"Ben, why are you being so difficult?" 

From her peripherals she can see the large man pout like a chastised child. 

"I'm not, but you are. We've wasted so much time being on opposite sides and we've been on the brink of death together. Can't we have a bit of leeway of what we can and can't do?" 

Negotiation. Rey had to remind herself that Ben was the former Supreme Leader, he had to be adept in negotiating if he was motivated enough, and he thinks confronting their unspoken, nameless emotions between them in the dead of night is as good start as any, much to her chagrin.

The plea in his tone was enough to draw her like a moth to a flame. She does look up, regretfully so, when she's greeted by haunting brown eyes looking back at her with a ferocity of a supernova explosion. The air is cool against her skin, but it was not the reason of why goosebumps enveloped her bare arms, pricking at her spine to shiver, causing a soundless gasp from her lips. 

Her approach is very careful, like the myth of the thought bomb by a Sith Lord named Darth Bane, of absorbing fragmented souls from its detonation. 

Though this is just Ben in his simple garbs and damp hair from the shower, making him appear more boyish than man under the moonlight. He's beautiful, in aspects that she used to never think about. But now that she could, she thinks of his large hands, the elegant taper of his waist, the broad width of his shoulders, the power of his strong thighs a lot. He's the same Ben who's currently making her heart race and insides warm, makes her wonder if it's physically possible to feel like her skin is two sizes too tight. 

The danger was rudimentarily the same for her.

She crossed her arms over her chest so to avoid the temptation of wanting to touch him; hold his hand, cradle his face, run her fingers through his hair. Anything. Because as soon as she would, any sort of logical discourse would be over. 

"I'm not sleeping with you, Ben." 

He rolls his eyes childishly, had the gall to use his full height to crowd her. 

"Why? Afraid you might come onto me?" He smirked. 

He was teasing her. What a jackass. 

She can't believe it. 

All this time and effort so he could throw her a wide grin her way and then suppress a laugh.

No way.

Meeting his eye because she wanted to prove him wrong, her nostrils flared. Even though she wouldn't be able to filter her emotions, her resolve and willpower should be able to send the appropriate message.

"I'm heading back." 

Without waiting for a response, she turned on her heel to retract her steps, taking the longest strides her legs could carry. 

"Woah. Hey, hey, hey! Hold on a second," He runs after her as he panicked. 

It doesn't take an effort for him to secure her from going anywhere, easily mistaking her hard stare on his unconscious hold of her as creeping anger, he quickly pulls away as if he had burnt himself. 

"I've never improved on communicating with pretty women. I'm sorry. Got it from dad, unfortunately. It's still a work in progress, but I'm being serious." 

"Ben, flattery and humor won't get you anywhere." She retorted, even though part of her chest is fluttering at his casual compliment. Maybe even less angry at his dumb way of deprecating himself. 

"I know. And I'm telling you now, I haven't gotten any nightmares since you slept by me." 

It gave her pause. 

Not because his syrupy words were getting to her or anything, but she was just slapped with the same glaring reality.

She hadn't thrashed about begging for her parents to come back in the burning hours since she slept beside Ben either. Dreamless nights were as common as the nightmares, but experiencing good dreams were impossible to her, and yet she could vaguely remember waking up with a serene smile on her face for something she couldn't pinpoint exactly, just barely flirting on the line of her subconscious as she woke up to Ben's gentle snoring.

She never thought too hard on it. 

Of how nice and warm it is to wake up being held by someone. 

"Me either." She confessed in a mumble. 

"... So...? What's one more night with no nightmares together?" 

It makes for a really good bargain if she was being completely honest. Instances like this, her scavenger instincts would kick in and try to outweigh her options, but as she recalled their previous night together; the softness of it, the small glimpses of Ben's life, the completeness of being together... There's no better choice for her. 

But there has to be a couple of ground rules. 

"Alright, fine. BUT," She points a finger at him as soon as he reacted with a victorious grin. "That's all. We are going to sleep and that's it. No funny business, Di'kut." She warned strictly, not just to Ben, but to herself as well, internally. 

She tries to sift off the nervousness, that she wouldn't be able to keep her word. 

"Di'kut? That's new." He snorted.

"I'm serious." 

"Then you better not. Don't get any bright ideas either." He swung back, amusement reflected in his eyes but without the upturn twist of his lips. 

Rey decides to ignore Ben's obvious cheering, taking the direction to the Falcon while he jogged alongside her, a light skip on his step. 

They eventually reach the gaudy ship, the only sound accompanying their footsteps were the light humming of decades upon decades' old mechanism and technology. They briefly ignore the smell of dust and residual oil, heading to their established quarters together. 

Much to her surprise, the room is significantly cleaner since she left it last. Any horizontal surfaces were no longer coated in dust, the rumpled sheets and pillows were neatly folded, including the layout was pretty much rearranged so that the bed was placed at the center of the wall adjacent the door. Where did he had the time to clean here? 

"I wasn't going to invite you back here while the room was a mess." He answered as if he heard her silent question. 

She had to admit, despite their earlier disagreements, she's impressed by his efforts. 

"Clean freak." She stated, allowing herself to smile at him before sitting on the edge of the bed to remove her shoes. 

"Do you reckon that you sleep in an old and dusty room instead?" 

"I've had worse," 

Rey clearly meant it as a joke to herself, snorting at the reminder of having to sleep beside a dirty trash chute of the old cantina back in Jakku. It's the furthest from her reality now, and yet, she feels Ben's overwhelming protectiveness for her. 

The mattress sinks beneath his weight as he occupies the space beside her to toe off his own boots. 

"Not anymore. Not under my watch." 

"I'm doing better now, Ben. Don't worry." She leans in to peck his cheek softly before going over to her side of the bed, which just means the side she last slept on. 

Tucking herself under the covers, she watched as Ben took longer. It was like he was waiting on her to get comfortable, and that's probably it, because he didn't move until she was facing the ceiling, twiddling her thumbs in the dark until the mattress creaked from him crawling to his space. 

She frowned as he turned, facing away from her side in a fetal position. 

"Good night, sweetheart."

"Night, Ben." 

The quiet takes over right away and she's put off by it for several unnamed reasons. 

She knows Ben was just being respectful of her wishes by giving her the adequate space between them, despite his earlier musings, but it feels... Out of order when they're not closer together. 

Rey's going to be the rule breaker here, is she? 

She chews on her bottom lip.

Somehow, it doesn't even come as a surprise to her anymore as she slowly starts scooting towards his side, listening to the steady motion of his breathing, inhaling his clean scent being fresh from the shower.

"I thought no funny business?" He weakly reminded. 

His resolve assures her of how breakable it is, how easy it is to lose control. 

She exhaled a shuddering breath.

"This isn't funny business." She says, even though her arms were slowly creeping from behind to wrap around his torso, her chest pressing onto his back snugly just the way she wants, the softness immediately getting to him. 

"I just like touching you." She admitted. It's impossible to deny the gravitational pull between them anyway. 

He chuckles softly. "You could have just said so." 

Rey feels Ben push himself closer, melting from her touch, even cupping her hands with his own resting atop his chest. The combination of his struggling heart rate and the warmth of his palms were exactly what she needed to get through the quiet. 

"Sweet dreams, Rey."

It's simple. Anyone could say it, but the effect is different, more... Delicate. It's affectionate and caring, soft and tender. 

In hindsight, Rey knew she could have just slept on their bed as she had originally proposed. It was innocent but intimate enough, sharing the same bed. But for days, Ben has been nursing a delicate side to her that desperately craved for love and affection. She could blame him for being such a generous giver, but she also blames herself for being a greedy taker. 

Take, take, take. Anything Ben gave, she wanted and cherished. 

So, it came as a surprise that instead of waking up on a warm chest for a cushion and the same steady tempo for her ears, she was actually alone. Hugging and drooling on a pillow with the sun barely grazing the horizon. It was still a bit dark with minimal lighting, if she waited long enough, the indigenous domestic creatures of the moon would have wailed and screeched their greetings, signaling the start of another day. 

Rey sighed as she slowly moved, ignoring her pesky disappointment. It was irrational at best. She was the one who set their boundaries, it made no sense to feel cheated on just because he did what she asked for. 

But before she could linger on her so called "womanly" emotions, she noticed how light her head feels when she sat up. 

Raising a hand to examine, she gasped quietly. 

In Ben Solo fashion, he stayed true to his intentions. Her hair was somehow secured in intricate braids, something more dramatic than the last, reminding her of a fish tail floundering in the river. 

Rey wouldn't call herself pretty or beautiful, but Ben often made it a point to tell her that she is. As for the impressive way of how much difference a braid makes, she felt rather beautiful.

A peachy blush coated her freckled cheeks, smiling to herself because he makes her believe that she is. 

* * *

He was the only one there when he returned to the hangar, which is precisely his goal so he could get a productive head start. 

Ben thought he didn't need the lieutenant's permission to take initiative. He won't be running out of things to do anyway. He was leaning heavily on doing ship upgrades while he waits. At least it's not going to dirty his change of clothes. Because he's currently wearing Han's brown leather jacket underneath the beige linen tunic and his Corellian pants. The clothes were definitely older than him by another decade. _'It was asking to be used'_ , he had justified. 

With the other technicians gone, he climbed over one of the T-70 fighters, straddling the nose for a signal node upgrade. It's the easiest and most efficient to maneuver, which should only take ten to twenty minutes tops if he worked without interruption. 

Honestly speaking, he was in a much brighter mood even with only a couple of hours of sleep at his disposal. He knows being strong in the Force helps, he could go a week without proper rest and eating, but he definitely had Rey to be thankful for as well. She had kept him warm throughout the night and as a token of his gratitude, he braided her hair that lay claim on her as his maiden. 

Traditionally, it's supposed to warn other Alderaanian males that the woman is unavailable for everyone else. Courtship and romance in his mother's homeworld has always been possessive and intense by nature, Leia often liked to remind Han how lucky he was that they weren't in Alderaan. But Ben found the culture interesting, almost brilliant, it also helps that Rey effortlessly pulls off wearing his braids. This morning, he almost shed a few tears for how beautiful she looked. 

With the woman in mind, he worked valiantly until little by little, the hangar is being filled by hardworkers again. 

"Wait, what?" A young man exclaims. 

"What happened?" 

"I wasn't finished with the engine swap but this looks good as new!" 

"What, really?" 

"Yes. I'm pretty much done for the day... Hey, do you think the lieutenant would allow me a day off?" 

Similar musings of confusion and cheerfulness surrounded him, which were more than enough to put a tiny smile on his face. If anyone deserved a break from all the work, it's them, the technicians and mechanics who worked all day and night behind the scenes.

"Hey, you!" A loud, booming voice that Ben is starting to get familiar with called out to him, not only grabbing his attention but the rest as well. 

He sighed as an effort to keep his collective composure before jumping down his high perch on the starfighter, immediately coming face to face with Sans Fallon, looking angry and red with rage so early in the morning. 

"Didn't I tell you to fucking leave me alone?! Why were you on my station?!" 

Ben raised his hands on defense. It would only take saying one wrong word for the whole thing to blow over aggressively, but he doesn't want to admit to anything either especially if people weren't even bothering to stop and take a moment to look in his direction.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He denied. 

"Don't play dumb with me, boy. You've been here all night! No one else would have enough time on their hands to do their tasks." Sans was holding himself back by crossing his fisted hands under his armpits. "What do you want? Do you want us to feel like we owe you something now, huh? Make you feel like you're a good person this way?" 

Eventually, people start catching on that it was him, it doesn't really take rocket science but he would have preferred if he remained anonymous. He didn't even do it to be recognized, it just felt like it's a small part for him to make amends. It didn't have to stop with him working on three starfighters when he is capable of doing more, but saying that to someone he had deeply wounded wouldn't help. It just makes him sound like a jerk. 

"I'm telling you, it's not me. I had to close up the hangar after clean up, that has taken me all night." Ben explained, more like lied, as calm as possible. "I did borrow a couple of tools though, if that's what you're pertaining to, I'm sorry. I should have asked for your permission." 

Hearing the cohesive collectiveness in his tone threw Sans off guard. Maybe he was expecting things to get messy, maybe the rest of them do. When Ben looked around, he sees the people bracing themselves, taking on a defensive stance when he wasn't even doing anything. He shoved his hands in his pockets, ignoring the crackling trepidation in the air, he had to find a way for them to get used to him, somehow... 

Sans was probably going to get more aggressive in the way that he sizes him up despite being shorter in height and smaller in frame. But fortunately, from the corner of his eyes, he sees the lieutenant arriving at the hangar, talking to one of the technicians who had just pointed a finger at them. 

Upon his silence, the older man followed his gaze and saw the lieutenant's brisk approach. 

Apparently, it's all the telling that he needs to understand that he was taking things a bit too far.

"What's going on here?" Lieutenant Kaydel demanded, not beating around the bush with her pushy tone. 

For a moment, neither one of them don't know who would speak first. It was tense, trying to meet the other's eye but ending up just looking down at the floor in shame. Ben's ears were beginning to grow hot from all the unwarranted attention. 

"Speak up! I haven't got all day," 

"Nothing, ma'am." Sans decided it was going to be him. "I was just asking the lad about my tools since he borrowed them." 

It's not about how terrible the lie is, but the superior officer was taking the civility at face value, not saying anything more to confirm if he was telling the truth or not. 

"Well, if that would be all, you should return to your stations and get to work." She declared, announcing that whatever was going on is over, but Ben managed to look over at Sans and see him give him a certain look, as if to say _'this isn't over'_.

"Um, Lieutenant... We're actually done with our tasks..." A brave soul pointed out, waiting as almost everyone nodded their heads in affirmation. 

"All of them?" She sounded taken aback, her tone changing. 

A couple more nods then a few minutes was all the she needed to dismiss almost half of the crew from their duties while the rest that still had upgrades as a side task remained. 

Ben considered himself lucky just then. They'd all be done by the afternoon, the rest with him were enthusiastic about it as they returned to their stations. 

But as he was just beginning the second upgrade for the signaling, he had a bit of an oversight. He was still missing a few tools to work with, and he badly needed a size nine wrench and some wielded bolts. How is he going to acquire those now? 

He frowned deeply. 

Maybe he'd be staying up late again after all, better yet, it's probably better for him to stay at the hangar overnight. 

He was in the middle of considering when the young man from earlier walked over to his station. 

All his mulling dissolves as he raised a brow in question.

This is the first time anyone approached him on their will, and Ben doesn't sense the fear either as he stopped right at his feet, there's a bashful look to him as he scratched his blond head. 

"Are you really missing some tools?" The man asked. 

Too astounded to speak, Ben could only nod his head in affirmation. 

"What are you missing?" 

This is the part where he needs to speak, however. Finding his voice, he thought about the stuff he needs. What were they again?

"Uh, I need a wrench, size nine and a couple of wielded bolts... Maybe twelve or fifteen." He estimated, that'd be four or five on each starship, he thinks. 

"Oh, you can borrow the wrench from me. I won't be needing them at the moment. The bolts would be available in the equipment room. Do you know where that is?" 

"Um, no." 

"Then I'll take you there."

The kind offer takes him off guard as Ben stares at the stranger more firmly.

"You sure?" He had to double check, looking around if someone was putting him up to do this, but found none. Some were staring, definitely surprised that one of their own is talking to someone like him, though there's no hostility coming from anywhere. It was safe. 

For now.

"Yes, sir," 

"Just call me, Ben." 

"Sorry," He meekly murmured. 

"What's your name?" 

"Keith, si—I mean, Ben. Sorry." 

"Why are you doing this?" He had to ask, still doubting the intention. 

"I'm returning the favor. You helped all of us even if you keep denying it. You deserve some gratitude, even if it's coming from an inexperienced tech such as myself."

A light feeling surges in his system, he'll have to own up to it. "Thank you, Keith."

Ironically speaking, this young man, barely even in his adulthood—Keith is braver to come up to him, unashamed of being helpful to their former enemy. Ben wanted to ask him about it, but at the same time, the acceptance coming from this stranger is refreshing to him. His opinion will drastically change in the future, be it good or bad, Ben would want nothing more than to enjoy the seconds of kindness while it's there. 

Offering an approachable smile to Keith with his crooked teeth and awkward lips, he accepts his help. 

"Lead the way." 

* * *

It's strange, but also empowering to be complimented every time she passes by someone. 

People look twice in her direction now, girls telling her they love what she did with her hair, guys discretely being nicer, greeting her a cheery good morning, and Rose had even whistled as soon as she saw her. 

"I got to hand it over to him. He really knows what he's doing with your hair." 

"Yes, he's... Leia taught him." She mumbled, twirling a loose strand with her finger. It's taking a while of getting used to with the compliments and Ben being a topic of their conversation. She's a little apprehensive of where it's headed every time. 

Though Rose never had any malicious intentions. She's still being very cautious. 

"I can't say I could imagine it, but he's pretty talented." Rose commented, sipping her cocoa drink. 

"He is." 

"Where is he?" 

"Still under Kaydel's supervision." 

"Ah," Rose offered her a spare cup of the warm drink. "Can't tell whether I should be glad or terrified for him." She snickered. 

"He can handle himself." Rey assured, not even worried for a little bit. He has proven himself capable of doing what is assigned to him.

"So I've heard,"

The tone of Rose's voice grabbed her attention more than the hilt of her words did. Rey snapped her head with curiosity, scrunching her brows together. 

"What do you mean?"

"He didn't tell you?" 

"Just spit it out, Rose." She didn't have the patience to guess, and her friend knew better than to antagonize her when she's set on a goal. Rey was notoriously stubborn to a fault. 

Rose sighed dejectedly, no fight to her following words. 

"Beebee was messing with him yesterday. Sabotaged his task, stole his tools... Made sure he didn't finish on time so Kaydel had to call him out in front of everybody. But Ben pretty much survived the beating. People were talking about it." 

So that's what he meant about Beebee being a troublemaker. The droid was specifically making his job very difficult. Ben didn't want her to know for some reason, which now that she thinks about it with her mind jogging along, probably had something to do with her anger, because she can feel it currently rising.

Ben had a rough day and he wanted to be comforted, preferably by her, since he had personally had seek her out. Guilt for being so dismissive rushes to be paired with her simmering emotions. He was even sweet to her without her knowledge by braiding her hair, she didn't have to know how much fragility it required to even pull that off without waking her, but Rey felt like the worst person ever. 

She had to go to Ben... Now. 

Without a word, Rey turned sharply on her heel towards the corridor. 

"Hey, where are you going?" 

She had taken a couple of steps on the narrow hallway when she sees Poe sitting behind a desk of the drawing room, filling up something on a holopad. 

Just perfect timing. 

She'll set aside going over to Ben's for a few seconds, favoring to have a chit chat about the droid with the unsuspecting pilot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> Yes, this took a while and it's not even that good in my opinion. This is more a filler than for the plot to move, it was an oversight on my part. I'm sorry


	13. Part 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben attempts to make new friends as Rey encouraged and someone pulls through end with a strange but compelling offer.

"Is there something that you need?" remarked Poe, without having to look up or stop what he was doing. 

Not one to beat around the bush in her current state of mind, she mustered the self-control she needed to stop herself from knocking off the holopad in his hands as she kept a decent distance between them, where he isn’t at arm’s length. Although it would be just as easy to use the Force, she tries not to put too much thought into it. 

The best choice was to lean against the doorway.

"You need to have a serious talk with Beebee," She initiated, looking around for any sign of the droid, something that she should have done while on her way. 

The drawing room doesn’t provide too many hiding spots anyway. She’d spot him very easily under one of the tables, and he hasn’t been here. 

“Where is he?" 

Poe huffed an impatient breath, clicking his tongue as he shifted his weight on his other leg. There was no pretense to his disinterest in having this conversation.

"As much as I'd like to take him to maintenance, you can see what I have to deal with, right?" He gestures a lazy hand around him, the only time Rey actually paid better attention. 

Two tables on each side were filled with blueprints and plans of varying fighters and freighter ships, acquired from different sources throughout the galaxy. At first glance, she could easily tell they were up to date and new. He was canvassing, which is surprising because something like this was more suited for Maz. 

But the suggestion doesn’t ever reach him.She's not here to make his life any easier as she sneers at his attitude, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. 

"I'm not here for that. I’m here because you don’t keep an eye on Beebee when he’s misbehaving.” Her tone had a toothy bite. Unintended, but there’s no taking it back if it meant Poe perked up to finally listen. 

He looks up, gripping the edge of the table as he narrows his eyes back defensively. "Excuse me? What did he do?" 

“Ben is under probation with hangar duties. You’re part of the council who agreed on that and your droid keeping him away from his duties isn’t part of the agreement. Tell him to knock it off!” 

As soon as he heard the answer, he returned to his task with an unapologetic scoff. The reason is not enough for him to warrant his full attention. In fact, he thought he shouldn’t have to listen to something that doesn’t involve him or anyone of interest. 

“Will you stop doing that? You treat him like he can’t walk on his own feet. He’s a grown man, Rey. A droid trying to mess with him should be nothing.” 

Unfortunately, those words only fueled her rising anger. It’s not about what he could handle, it’s about goddamn principles! Resistance is quite big on fairness and justice, but the same can’t be given to Ben. His stay here has been unwelcomed, there had been a conscious shift in the atmosphere since they arrived and she’s had enough of it. 

Even if it’s as small as what Poe makes it out to be. 

Not to her.

“I’m serious.” She keeps her hands tightly clenched into fists until they turn white. “You’re my friend and I respect what you do around here. But this is not a request. I won’t be asking you so nicely next time.” 

Honestly speaking, Rey doesn't know what she'll do, that's why she kept it vague but truthful. 

At least Poe isn't pretending that he isn't hearing what she said, he's definitely pondering and weighing options. Because they may consider each other as friends and allies but when a situation asks for them to choose, Rey will be choosing Ben over anyone else, she'll even choose him before herself. 

She can only hope the message is conveyed clearly as she left him alone without another word. 

There were no regrets. She said what she said. 

* * *

“Hey Ben, aren’t you going to come down from there?” asked Keith, waving at him below the starfighter he’s currently straddling. 

“It’s lunch time. Aren’t you hungry?” 

Ben twisted the hinges shut on one of the power compartments tightly before peeking through the nose of the ship. Keith already removed his work gloves while everyone else was rummaging to the cafeteria. Yet, he still worries for the amount of work that would be left unfinished. 

“I’ll be out in a second. But don’t wait out for me.” It would only bother him if he left his station while he could fix this small coupling in a matter of a few minutes. He doesn’t wait for a response to continue what he’s doing, assuming the young kid took his leave. 

With Keith’s help, he has already finished one fighter with full upgrades. Two more by midday is his goal before calling it a success. 

“Hm.” He paused, now currently examining the power diversion of the laser cannons. “Needs a different hinge. Shit.” 

His hands were much too greasy with oil to mess around with the sensitive parts. It will also take some time to wash off when he could be doing something else while he’s on top of the ship.

“Not surprising to find you alone here. Have you seen Beebee anywhere?”

His riveted attention breaks at the amused voice that joins him. 

Rey just paid him a visit. 

His pulse quickens ever so slightly, he’ll probably never get used to being around her without feeling a rush of disarrayed emotions. He extracts himself from his kneeling position with a cheeky grin, jumping down to land in front of her. 

“Hey sweetheart,” 

“Ben!” She immediately chides him, warily looking around. “Not the place,” 

“No one’s here.” He reasoned with a shrug and Rey should know, he has already probed with his awareness to check the moment he heard her voice. 

“Not taking any chances.” She says while swiftly ducking from his reach. 

Damn. He just wanted a small peck. 

“So, have you seen Beebee or not?” 

He frowned softly. They’re alone together in a spacious hangar bay and she’s asking about the pesky troublemaker. 

“No, I haven’t,” Crossing his arms over his chest, he subtly nudges at the bond between them to get a bit of a clue. At least she’s completely unguarded from her inner turmoil, a bit distracted from finding BB-8. “Why are you looking for the droid?” 

There’s a pause, long enough to be recognizable as hesitation. So, when he followed her with his gaze, he caught her bashful look before answering. 

“I heard about what he’s been up to...” 

What he’s been up to? The last time he saw the droid, one of the gas canisters he needed had a hole in it, which isn’t too long ago. Maybe three hours ago, give or take. He just knows that he sees Beebee around his vicinity quite often. 

“You mean the little pranks?” 

“Little?!” She sounded befuddled. “At the rate that he’s going, he could get you locked up in a cell,” 

Ah, there it is—the frustration she tried so hard to keep in check. Rey sets off like a time bomb when she’s motivated, he has known that side of her since she first held a lightsaber. It wasn’t the appropriate time back then to be awestruck by it, and it isn’t the same either in this particular moment right now. But he can’t deny the pride that swells in his chest, knowing how protective she gets for him, this feral little wildflower who thinks he’s worth something to fight for. 

It would take some time to get used to. 

Within two seconds or less, he forces her to look at him, entrapping her in his gaze. 

“Is that why you’re upset?” He asked with a calmer intent, watching as her nostrils flared in disapproval of his reaction. “Or is it because if I get locked up you wouldn’t be able to kiss me silly at night?” 

His poor attempt to be cute and charming didn’t quite land as she shoots him a warning glare. 

“Ben.” 

Ben stifles a smile, holding up his hands, conceding. She is brimming with anger but he can’t help himself from indulging a little. 

“Rey, I’m fine. I’ve been through worse,” If anything, the droid’s like a fly he can just bat away or ignore. He isn’t a lone wolf anymore to find the inconveniences difficult. 

However, she’s still not convinced no matter how much he tried to reassure her through their bond. She can only frown at him deeply. 

“I know. But you deserve a fair chance around here,” She finally looks into his eyes, sees the expressive spark behind them and for a moment, he is enraptured, isn’t able to look away. 

“You deserve good things to happen to you.” 

Oh, how good that feels to hear it spoken by her.

“Oh, Rey.” 

He tearfully pulls her in for a hug, but not without kissing her hairline, rubbing soothing circles over her back as his way to recover from the blow of her words. Because how often does he hear assurance like that? How often is he reminded of his worth? He won’t be able to remember the last time, but it feels so good hearing it now. It feels… Liberating. 

His heart aches, but it’s the good kind of ache. The type to make his eyes glisten with fresh tears and throat hurt from feeling too much, from feeling too overwhelmed. And Rey could most definitely tell, she’s wisely choosing not to say anything, letting him process. 

Her own arms wrapped around his waist, anchoring him back to the present. It was like floating back into his own body, finally able to move and think. He presses under kiss on her head before talking. 

“Tell you what, I know you’re still worried. Let me handle the droid.” 

“And how are you going to do that?” She follows up, pulling away first with a confused look. 

“I can only think of one way, to be fair.” 

Dreadfully, it involves interacting with Poe. so he can’t tell her. 

“Just trust me.” 

That’s really the only words he needed to say for Rey to leave the issue alone, although she gave him a particular look, as if to wordlessly tell him she remains wary. 

He’ll take it. 

“Anyway, are you hungry? Because I sure am.” He diverted. It’s also just a good opportunity to be with her much longer, even if it means heading to the crowded cafeteria. 

Her eyes trail away from him, however. She looks past his shoulder. 

“Looks like someone already got that covered,” 

Wrinkling his nose in confusion ready to ask the question, Ben sensed that they were no longer alone. Someone else, two or three people are back in the hangar. 

Ben turns around to find his answer. 

It’s Keith and two other technicians holding their trays, specifically, one of them had a serving for one more person. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, was it a bad time to come back?” Keith is a bit distressed as he glances back and forth between Ben and Rey. 

They probably looked too engrossed with each other, stuck on their own and lost to the world again, much to her chagrin and his amusement. 

“I knew you’d end up skipping meals so I got your share,” Keith explained, pointing at the other plate before turning to Rey with a sheepish smile. “I didn’t know you’d be here but you could have mine instead and I could just return—“ 

“No, no. You’re so sweet but I’m actually going to join Rose for lunch since I promised. I just came here to check on him and I’m glad that he’s making friends,” 

Keith blushes at the simple praise. On the off hand, Ben was about to have a word and talk Rey into staying when she held up a finger to his lips. 

“Go and make new friends.” She reminded him sternly but encouragingly, giving him a soft look that’s closest to a kiss on the cheek. Honestly speaking, Ben would count it as such as she passed by him before looking over her shoulder. 

“Behave.” 

At the tiny wave of her hand, she was off. Sauntering to the cafeteria with a purpose. He’ll have to figure out another way to get her alone. There’s still a lot to be said between them, a lot to unpack. Ben could feel it pulse through the bond every time she’s near, they have to acknowledge their feelings at some point, he has to say the words. Even if she already knows, it would only feel right if it comes directly from his lips. 

But for now, she’s right about one thing. 

He huddled together with the trio, crossing his ankles on the floor. 

“Keith, you didn’t have to do this.” He gestured at the food, although he’s actually very thankful as he cuts a slice of meat. 

“I know. But I wanted to.” Keith nonchalantly remarked. “Also, this is Eris and D’Jhan. I don’t know anything about boosters,” 

“No one is available to teach the younger techs,” inquired the light skinned Twi’lek named D’Jhan, still a little apprehensive around him although willing to speak up. “We were hoping you could help.” 

He almost dropped his eating utensils. His brows must have flown all the way to his forehead because he wasn’t expecting this. 

“You want my help?” He’s stunned, frozen from eating his meal when all he could think about is how they could choose anyone else. 

Keith must have talked these two into giving him a chance. Seriously, if that was the case, he’ll have to do something for him in return. 

“I mean, we’ve seen what you could do around here. You did my alternator yesterday.” said Eris. 

“And you did my scan reactor.” added D’Jhan. 

Those tasks weren’t difficult to handle but he refrained himself from saying anything, not wanting to sound cocky and lose this given chance of actually making friends. Instead, he focuses on why they’re asking for him. 

“... Are you sure that you want my help? Because if anyone sees you talking to me, you guys might get in trouble.” As much as he appreciates this current development, it feels much too soon. He doesn’t want them to face the consequences of interacting with him. 

D’Jhan scoffed, nostrils flaring. Ben could see his lekkus twitching in annoyance. 

“As if they don’t hate us already.” 

“What do you mean?” He should have known that cliques and established groups exist even with an unmatched excellent synergy from Resistance. Some people just got along better than others. 

“Well, not hate. But, they don’t pay much attention to us young ones. Think we’re inexperienced or incapable.” D’Jhan muttered with his head down. 

So it’s not apprehension that got them hesitating around him. They were afraid of getting rejected by a misfit like them. If Ben wanted to assume correctly, they’re looking for a new friend as well. 

“Let’s eat before the food gets cold,” Ben eyed the trio to watch for their collective disappointed reactions. 

He’s right. 

With a warm smile, he added. 

“I’ll help you right after.” 

* * *

Days breezed by for Ben once he developed a proper schedule. 

Starting the day early with a fresh shower. Sometimes his uncle Chewie would wake up much earlier than him and share his breakfast, but other times, he went straight to the hangar, where Keith would back him up with his share and they’d eat together. Those were important for him, he found the younger man easy to talk to and his friends listened attentively to every word he said. It’s different when people listen to you willingly rather than doing it out of fear. 

But having healthy social interactions includes a price of laborious tasks which inevitably took much of his time and energy, though it has been getting to a point where they require his utmost focus. 

There was one time where he followed a bossy middle aged man around as a carrier of fragile crates. He was so focused on handling the objects gently that he didn’t even notice Rey being around the vicinity. He had when it was too late and all they could give each other are playful grins and a warm nudge through the bond. 

And he despised it. 

They go in and out of duty at different intervals, so by the time he takes his leave, she’s already at the dormitory and any pursuit was trampled. 

She really was taking the whole ‘taking things slow’ very seriously. They don’t even have lunch together that often. 

There’s a funny feeling in his stomach as he finished his progress report for the day. 

Ben missed Rey. That’s where all this love sickness is coming from. Kriff, he just wants to see her. 

“Ben, we’re heading out!” hollered Keith from his station. 

He gives them a small wave and a nod. “Go on ahead. I’ll just finish this!” 

It’s another day of productivity secured under his watch. With a few more taps on the holopad, he clocked out and placed the tablet on his station. He dusted off his hands on his trousers, proudly doing a final examination of the ship he’s working on. It has taken four days but it’s ready for takeoff, he was guessing it was for exploration purposes. He never asked Lieutenant Kaydel but the navigation sensor upgrade request was an easy hint. 

Satisfied, he was ready to head out. 

“Oh. You’re still here.” 

He stops on his tracks to see the flyboy approach him. He frowned, they haven’t seen each other since Kaydel supervised him. What did he want now? 

“Poe…” Crossing his arms, he hoped the pilot didn’t come here to start something with him. “Did you need something?” 

“No. Not really. I only came here because Kaydel wanted me to tell you that you’re off duty starting tomorrow.” 

Surprisingly, Ben didn’t expect himself to feel so contemptuous of being given a break. He didn’t spend all that time developing a schedule just to be relieved from his duties, besides, no matter how feverish things got, he enjoys what he does, he loves using his hands and brain at something so essential to the Resistance. It makes him feel like a part of the cause instead of their current prisoner on probation. 

Take that away then what would he do now? He thought he was doing great, he excelled in tasks that were considered difficult to many, even the lieutenant herself appreciated it. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

Poe snorted, crossing his arms over his chest as he shook his head. 

“That’s the thing. You’re doing so well. Too well.” 

Ben ignores the hint of disappointment in his tone, caught up by his words instead. “And that’s a bad thing?” 

“Only when you’re putting a bunch of your crewmates out of commission. They’re also getting paid to do work, you know.” 

How could he forget? Resistance is an organization that can’t survive with just their great cause, they also need vast sums of money. And with the war over, everyone would be able to return to their normal lives with their hard earnings to start anew. They can’t do that when he’s acting as free labor. 

“Oh.” The disappointment weighs heavy in his voice. 

“Trust me, you’re doing everyone a favor here.” 

“I know.” He lowered his gaze, not wanting to meet Poe’s eyes in case he makes fun of him for being somewhat attached to his role as a temporary crewmate. He just wasn’t expecting it to end so soon. 

“Thought you’d be more enthusiastic about it.” Poe parroted. 

“Yes, well. I like the duties. Keeps me occupied.” He was willing to admit that. Anyone who’s under probation would say the same thing anyway. 

The hangar bay becomes more imposing with the awkward pause. Somehow, he shares the same inclination with Poe to be quiet as he fidgets uncomfortably. What does he do now? They’re just standing here in the middle of the wide room with no one in sight. If he looks over behind the pilot’s shoulder, the exit would be there. 

“Come on,” Poe initiated. 

“What? Where are we going?” He is expected to follow as the pilot is already walking in the opposite direction of the exit. 

“Just follow me.” 

Reluctantly, he did, even if he wanted a shower so badly. On one hand, Poe is not being hostile with him. Yet. 

And it’s piquing his curiosity. 

They walked past the equipment and supply room, going through a narrow hallway which leads to a wide mezzanine. It reminds him of a stalactite cavern, but they just built inside of it with durasteel walls and ferrocrete surfaces. He was just having a look around when Poe stopped short in a smaller room, which looked a lot like a lounge area. 

There were a few small dining venues on one side of the wall, a bar counter on the other. It reminds him of an exclusive club’s interior, the design completely detached from the rest of the base. He didn’t know a place like this existed around here. 

“Here.” Poe stood behind the counter, sliding an ember glass bottle on the ferrocrete surface. 

Ben took a seat across him while he grabbed another bottle. His brows raised once he recognized the content inside with vague sensibility. 

It’s black ale . A strong alcoholic drink that could put even a Wookie to sleep, his uncle would be thrilled. 

“I haven’t had one of these in a while.” He inspected the dark liquid with intrigue, nose wrinkling at the strong scent that painfully permeated his nostrils, even a whiff should be enough to get anyone tipsy. 

He takes the tiniest sip, and still, the trail it leaves behind is burning right through his throat down to the pit of his stomach. 

Ben exhales a loud sigh once it pierces his guts in a heat wave. 

“Hits like a fire wasp poison, doesn’t it?” Poe took his own swig, eliciting a similar reaction. 

He smiles indulgently at the pilot, surely not expecting to be drinking as part of his itinerary for the late evening, though it isn’t unwelcomed. 

“What are we getting drunk for?” 

The offer is just so out of nowhere, the intention isn’t clear either when it’s Poe Dameron offering him a drink. They weren’t nearly on proper speaking terms to be drinking buddies, yet here they were against those odds, cringing at the intense aftertaste together with every swig. 

The pilot shrugged his shoulders. 

“Thought you would have taken longer with your duties, guess this is me celebrating in defeat and you’re on break now. You wouldn’t have to worry about waking up early tomorrow.” 

That didn’t nearly answer his question. Poe was deflecting for a reason, and he doesn’t know why, but he’s not going to press him for answers since drinking with him is a way to get the droid off his back. Ben will take this offer as an opportunity to improve his relationship with the pilot, then Rey wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. 

That’s his only motivation. 

“Besides, I’ve always been curious about the Supreme Leader’s alcohol tolerance.” Poe added as he rounded the counter and sat on the stool beside his. 

Ben snorted. Truth be told, the pilot isn’t the first person to wonder about it. He has heard imperial officers chattering behind his back when they think he’s not listening, all coming from a long forgotten incident involving the destruction of his quarters and a deathly headache to match. 

“You’d be very disappointed.” He doesn’t remember much, but he knew he only had a pint of Sullustan wine, not coming close to the one they are drinking now. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Poe chuckles, losing the jibe to his words. Normally, Ben would hear it in his tone, and for once, there’s a difference. 

He doesn’t say a word and they continue drinking. 

For a moment, they resembled two separate strangers drinking on the same bar counter, but after a while, as Ben slowly feels the effect of the alcohol loosening his body and his steely thoughts. 

His stomach feels queasy and his cheeks burn hotly. When he looks over to Poe, he finds him not faring any better. Barely an hour passed and they’re going to be drunk in no time.

“So, I have a question,” 

Ben blinked back blearily. “Alright. Ask away.” 

“Before you became the big bad Kylo Ren, what did you do?” 

It’s another question that isn’t the first time he has heard of. His past intrigued many, even including the unfortunate guards who witnessed his tantrums. They wonder for the source of his anger or where it comes from. If he told them, they’d be surprised to find out that he used to be this attentive, passionate and ambitious kid who wanted nothing more than to become like his dad. He used to be so thrilled when the locals praised him for being kind and generous when he was just a young padawan in his first year. 

But now a man of thirty, he tells Poe just as much.

“You’ve probably seen the database about my life already.” Not to sound cocky, but it’s standard procedure to know your enemy’s profile. He knows a good bit about Poe this way. “What do you want to know?” 

“I don’t know… Maybe something that you think the database didn’t include.” 

Ben hummed. He needs to think about that for a moment. There’s a lot of information that the general public didn’t know, but Poe is considered to be a part of his mother’s trusted circle. He assumed that he might know a thing or two about him that no one else has. 

He starts with something small. 

“I used to write a lot.” 

There.

“Write a lot of what?” 

Maybe not. 

Oh, no. 

Well, this was a bad idea. 

“Just in general... About my life in some old scrolls or some short stories when I got bored at the temple whenever Luke was away. Stuff like that.” 

“... You mean to tell me that Kylo Ren used to own a diary?” 

Ben’s entire face sours in disapproval.

“I wouldn’t call it that. A diary requires a notebook and I only wrote on scrappy old scrolls that I found on Luke’s desk.” 

“Yeah, but still…” Poe waves a lazy hand around before meeting his eye, squinting. 

Something tells him that the pilot is already a tad bit drunk. 

“I can see it. I’ve read your progress reports. You spend too much time narrating stats like a formal officer. That’s all I gotta say.” 

Unsure whether to take the words as a compliment or an insult, he shakes the thought away, a bit bashful now that he’s made aware of the way he writes isn’t the same for everybody. 

“What else?” 

“What else what?” 

“What else do you do?” 

Ben took a deep breath as he examined his half filled bottle. There’s still a lot more to go, which means that there is also more to talk about, and Poe decided that includes getting to know him. 

He says the first thing that comes to mind. 

“The reason why I’m good with machines is because of Han. There’s a common misconception about that. People think I was enrolled in an imperial school for the things I already knew. But it was just my dad who taught me everything. He used to sneak me out from my grammar lessons and Leia would get mad at him… But it was worth it,” 

It happened at the dinner table. Loud and boisterous for a kid as decently behaved like little Ben. With both his uncles, Artoo and C-3PO present, they made suppers the most memorable even for a slightly drunken man. 

“Ah. No wonder piloting the piece of junk Han owned is still flyable. That thing almost killed me and Finn, by the way. Not my best moment,” Poe supplied, chuckling to himself at the stressful memory. There was just too many things going wrong at once, too many times where they got lucky. 

Meanwhile, Ben’s first inclination is a smarmy response that insults Poe’s piloting skills. His mouth opens before his brain could comprehend what’s happening. 

“Maybe you’re just a terrible pilot,” He deadpanned. 

Ben could blame it on the alcohol. Seriously. He’s getting worse by the second and no one is here to stop him and his lack of filter. 

He was just about to say when Poe straightened his slouched position, a sort of defensive stance. 

“I’d like to see you try and escape fighters with hyperdrives using that piece of junk.” 

Alright. The challenge in Poe’s tone thrilled him more than the alcohol did, or maybe the intoxicating efffects is clouding his judgement. Because the next thing he knows is taking the taunting to heart, and Ben is not the type to back down from a challenge either. 

“I’ve piloted the Falcon since I was ten, Dameron. Would you like to test your chances?” 

The same can be said for Poe, apparently. Ben knew the look of determination all too well. Maybe he won’t be starting a childish fist fight after all. 

Poe settles with an easy smirk. 

“There’s going to be a fleet battle two weeks from now because of some imperial generals still trying to take over pocket worlds in the Outer Rim. We should go,” 

The proposition takes him aback slightly. The alcohol is definitely getting to them. Poe wouldn’t have suggested it and a large part of him with the piloting ambition wouldn’t be preening, but it’s too late now. 

They both like a good challenge. 

“And then what?” 

“The first to damage the primary ship at above fifty’s the better pilot.” 

Hm. 

It’s not impossible. Ben would have to assume that they’ll be taking the quality starfighters that they have on this fight. It could be fun to fly around with a T-75 instead of the Silencer. He was used to the sleek maneuverability of his ship that doing this challenge with a new scope of piloting makes it all the more interesting. X-wings can’t be that hard... 

A slow grin appears on his face. 

“That’s easy mode. Let’s do seventy-five.” Ben upped the challenge. Why not? 

And Poe is ready to take it. No backing down. They’re already too far into this. 

“Crazy bastard. It’s on!” 

With a clink of their bottles, the challenge is set through a half-assed decision between the two using Poe’s holopad to sign their names with the rest of the pilot crew. 

How Rey found them later on would be interesting and eventful, but for the next hour and a half, they finish their bottles to its last ounces. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Oh my god, this took too long for my own good😖😖I’m so sorry!! I was stuck on a certain part and couldn’t bring myself to move on until today but now this update is finally complete and the plot is ready to jog along more smoothly. 
> 
> Btw, how do you drunk Ben acts? I wanna know your input for the next update😉😉especially witu Rey around. 
> 
> I’m sure Poe doing this is a bit strange or OOC since they hate each other, but you know the feeling of being so defeated that all there is to it is for once to be tired of being aggressive and hostile?? Yeah, it’s one of those... I’ll make it better next update, don’t worry😩😩also more Reylo on the next on I promise!’ 
> 
> For now, enjoy this! I had fun writing Poe and Ben interacting. Let me know what you think!💖
> 
> See you soon!


	14. Part 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey deals with a drunken Ben and achieved some results.

Time passed by.

Well… Neither one of them could tell how long it had been, but Ben could count how many empty bottles laid strewn across the counter. So, about three more bottles later, Poe uncovered an interesting fact about the former Supreme Leader. 

Ben Solo is a borderline lightweight. 

And as a lightweight, Ben is  _ rather  _ talkative, complete with the excessive hand gestures, which lead to clumsily spilling his drink over himself carelessly or knocking off anything around his reach. It’s the lack of grace that was outstanding to Poe. It was as if another person lived inside his body, one who isn’t repressed from speaking about the most trivial of things, like the time his Uncle Chewie taught him a swear word in Shyriiwook or what about the time he had his first kiss with a fellow Padawan and Luke made them meditate for twelve hours in separate quarters? 

It only cemented Poe’s hot takes about the Jedi. 

Not that he listened closely or Ben noticed, but it’s more about witnessing the transition right before his eyes that inclined the pilot to continue drinking with him for his own amusement, maybe even clink bottles a time or two—when a bright idea suddenly came to mind. 

A mischievous grin splits Poe’s face in half as he continues watching the drunkard drone on and parrot and wave his hands around. He was saying something about almost crashing a landspeeder when he was eight. 

“Mom got so fucking mad. Bet you’ve not seen her switch to Ubese outta fuckin’ nowhere,” Ben shakes his head before attempting to sample a few foreign words himself. Poe only caught  _ careless _ and _ idiot  _ before he took a swig from his drink. It’s a perk from being a former spice smuggler, he guessed.

But another thing to note, Ben’s potty mouth worsens over time, talking through a slurry as he ends every story with a wheezy chuckle. 

With his guard down, Poe decides that this is the perfect time to charge in.

“Enough about young Solo. Let’s talk about something else,” He paused as if to think, waiting for Ben to follow through. 

“What do you want to talk about?” 

“Oh, you got any stories about the First Order? Because I heard there’s a base for rebel hostages lying somewhere around the Raspar system…Know anything about that?” 

If there’s one thing Poe was gaining from a willing talkative perpetrator, it’s going to be information. The Resistance has been searching for the location for several months, it’s becoming like a lost cause in the council’s eyes, with limited resources and all. There’s no certainty that the hostages would still be alive, but Poe had hope. 

And then the easy grin on Ben’s face is quickly replaced by a sour frown, Poe internally cringed.

He might have pushed and tested his limited chances too far. He should have been more subtle… Operating on intoxicated brain cells is not the best strategy after all. 

“Dunno anything ‘bout hostages,'' Ben mumbled in a whispered tone, only the wind could have heard him if Poe wasn’t perking his ears to listen closely. “After what happened on Tuanul, I was kept outta loop from assault missions… Snoke… Because Snoke made me do it.” 

There’s a strangled cry in his shaky voice, wrestling the unwanted memory from overcoming him to breakdown in tears. It was such a terrible memory… All those defenseless villagers… The bloodlust, the wrong choice to slaughter and leave not a single one alive just to crush the burning conflict in him… 

The hurt it left behind is dull, but piercing. 

“Drink up.” 

So much for trying to get information out of him. 

Poe slides a small shot glass on the counter. The ember liquid smelled ridiculously like actual battery acid, Ben’s entire face twisted. “What’s this?” 

“You need something much stronger.” Poe implied, trying to evade the conversation. They weren’t going anywhere if Ben got too emotional. The drunken man is already sniffling, just short from shedding a tear as he puckered his lips in distaste upon the first hit of the liquor on the roof of his tongue. 

At least the Black Membrosia effectively distracts him. 

“What the fuck was that?!” 

“Pussy, don’t waste a perfectly good drink. Give me that!” Poe throws his head back and drains the rest of it with one burning swallow. It would be enough to keep up with Ben’s current state. He’ll be right there with him any minute now. 

Fuck. He made a wrong decision.   
  
  


* * *

Something is out of place as Rey jerked up from her light sleep. 

She has been tossing and turning in her bed to the point that Kaydel decidedly left their quarters to sleep somewhere else. If she had to guess, she only managed a few minutes of rest, and so, her movements remained lethargic while her mind raced for a particular person who made it a point to appear as her first thought every time she woke up. 

Ben is probably asleep. He has been so focused on work however crucial they were, from small to laborious tasks. He’s going to be exhausted. 

She keeps telling herself these rational excuses, all while climbing out of bed and pulling a cowl over her thin cotton tunic, knowing how chilly it gets once she’s outside. 

The feeling only festers stronger, the longer she stays ignorant of what it is. It’s something akin to caution, but not to the point of sensing any real threat. 

Rey slipped out of the dormitory with no real destination to achieve. She can only follow what her gut tells her while trying to discern the path she’s headed. 

The dirt path felt rather moist under the sole of her shoes, nocturnal insects clicking and buzzing in the soft pitter pattern of her footsteps leading to the infirmary down to the main base. She doesn’t even feel any remote sense of hesitation as she hurried inside to the uninterrupted silence that greets her. 

It has been a while since she’s been to the northeast wing of the base, the portion where people gathered together, mostly for celebrations. It should be safe to assume that the area is going to be empty and unused, and yet, her feet were acting on its own accord, the dizzying sensation that throbs within her nerves only igniting as soon as she reached the end of the hall. 

“Oh, fuck—“ 

“Ben!” 

At the exclamation, Rey acted on instinct, sprinting around the corner, she entered the lounge area with her guard up. 

She stops short on the doorway to find the unlikeliest of events. 

Ben is on the floor, slumped against the wall in the cramped space between two seats, he seems to be struggling to pull himself up, although Poe is trying, with a hand bawled on the back of Ben’s shirt—tugging uselessly. 

Their disarrayed appearances and the stray bottles abandoned on the bar said too much of what they’ve been doing. 

Still, Rey wanted an explanation from either one of them as she popped her hip to the side and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“What the kriff is going on here?” 

It just strikes her as odd to find Ben and Poe here, drinking, of all things. 

Poe looks up, gracelessly straightening himself up. The recognition was slow until his face splits into a wide grin. 

“Chill out, Rey. Your boyfriend’s off duty starting tomorrow. No need to worry about Beebee anymore.” He slurred as he sat heavily on the closest stool he could reach. 

That barely answered her question. Also, what does he mean by off duty? 

She turns to face Ben. He somehow managed to force himself up with wobbly legs, taking his time to saunter towards her. 

There’s an easy grin plastered on his face even while he’s struggling to keep his balance, bleary eyes blinking back at her. 

He’s completely wasted. The harsh scent hits her as soon as he successfully planted himself right in front of her. 

“Hello there.” Ben greets her, his voice rough and gravelly. He hasn’t lost the inflection in his tone though, appearing deep and husky. “Came to pay me a visit, hm?” 

He’s inching closer and there’s no subtlety to his intention at all, Rey could sense his purpose despite the clouded haze in his eyes, flicking low and focusing on her lips that naturally parted at the attention. 

“Maybe actually kiss me this time, whadd’ya think?” He reminded her breezily. 

So, he could still somewhat recall their last uneventful afternoon together a few days ago. No brief touches and kissing involved, they’ve been keeping it low, actually getting good at keeping it steady. But Ben… He just had to remind her what they both have been missing. 

She licked her bottom lip at the passing tingling sensation rising within her. 

“Rey.” 

Her name on his tongue sent shivers down her spine as she reluctantly took a small step back. He’s far from being revolted by her presence, going as far as craving her closeness all of a sudden. 

Rey takes a deep breath, pressing her palm over his warm chest to stop him from getting any closer. She has to at least try and reign in on her own pining regardless of how transparent they both are—mind, body and soul. 

“Let’s not do this now.” She says in a hushed tone, more reluctant than her refusal. 

His face drops into a pout, as if he’s being chided like an ill-fitted child, whining. 

“Why not?” 

The answer is just as drunk as Ben and he’s sitting nearby, only a table away from them. She'd rather not explain, it would be awkward in front of the general. She can still remember the way she prattled about his droid. 

Poe is a different kind of drunk, however. 

He waves a dismissive hand around. 

“Don’t mind me. Just pretend I’m not here.” He says as if he heard her worries. 

Ben and Poe are incredibly drunk, but that doesn’t stop her from worrying any less. One night of late night drinking can’t be enough for the pilot, surely not. 

She raised him a pensive brow, blinking. Don’t mind him? 

“How much did you two drink?” It’s reasonable to ask now. She just knows she’s underestimating the empty bottles scattered all over the area. 

There might be more.

“Too much for him but not enough for me.” Poe blurts out before casting a glance behind her. 

Suddenly, Ben pounced from behind, tugging to pull her flush against his chest. She had no time to react towards the warm furnace engulfing her with his thick arms. Try as she might, but he wouldn’t allow her to pry his fingers clasped over her belly. 

So, there was only so much she could do from his tight hold when they’re already under Poe’s heavy scrutiny. 

“But on my defense, he’s more tolerable when I’m this wasted.” 

“Fuck you.” Ben hollered from above her head before a loud hiccup. 

The startling noise only made Poe chuckle before his eyes settled on the both of them. It’s the attention that made her tense up. 

“So you two,” He points and glances back and forth. “It’s really happening?” 

“What the fuck does that mean?” 

Between his voice rumbling against her shoulder and his heartbeat incessantly rising off deep roots in his chest, breaking free from its quiet slumber, Rey had to place her hands on top of his to keep him grounded. 

“Ben.” She tries for a calm warning. 

“We have always belonged to each other! Even before—even before we met, we woulda’ found our way. The Force fuckin’ knows this and so should everyone else. I dunno why you all doubt that. Cuz’, cuz—fuck, if there’s one thing I’m certain about, if there’s one thing, it’s Rey. It’s Rey and I love her. I love—I love her. I gave my life for her and I would do it again a fuckin’ million times,” Ben only paused briefly to look at Poe straight in the eye. “Is that clear enough for you?!” 

He huffed, finishing his whole rant as his head dropped to her shoulder. 

“Crystal.” Poe answered, trying his hardest to stifle a bastard’s smirk.

“Good.” He mutters back, his drunken confession long forgotten. 

On the other hand, her mind absolutely blanked out on her and she felt his nose start to nuzzle the side of her neck, inhaling deep until he hums in approval. When he adjusted to keep his balance, she’s suddenly hyper aware of his heat and the pounding in her ears and the ache in her chest and it’s too much excitement for the hour as late as this. 

“You really got yourself a romantic there.” Poe commented with his face resting against his palm, observing the pair. 

Rey just knows she makes for such a struggling scene in the way that her face is heating up or the fact that it’s difficult to wrestle through the dizziness that came with hearing it said out loud. Even when he’s drunk—especially then, there’s weight and intensity in his words which spoke too much truth that they’ve been sweeping under the carpet. 

They really do have a lot to talk about, now that Ben just yanked it into existence with sheer determination. 

She sighed. 

It’s going to be a long conversation once he sobers up. 

“Let’s get you to bed.” She says from over her shoulder with no fight or resistance from the weight of his words. There’s no coming back from it once it’s hovering over their heads. 

Then she hears him suck in a sharp breath before perking his head up to Poe. 

“Heard that, flyboy? She’s taking me to bed!” He roared and boasted. The double meaning isn’t lost to everyone in the room, but it is surely not taken very seriously as Rey clicked her tongue in disapproval while Poe had only snorted. 

“Loud and clear, buddy. Now both of you fuck off.” Poe dismissed, letting his head fall over the rough surface of the table, minutes away from getting knocked out cold. 

Nothing good is going to happen if they stay here much longer. She’d rather not get caught up by someone else when people start waking up. 

“Let’s just go.” Rey muttered defeatedly. 

She goes over to his side for support, and as soon as she did, Ben practically gave up on his legs. It was like carrying a dead weight over her shoulder. 

Well, it’s not anything new when you used to scavenge and hoard for as many useful parts as possible. Ironically, that upbringing is becoming rather useful now as she takes one careful step at a time, with a little help from the Force to boost herself on her feet, it is made much easier. 

Their route is as quiet as they came from. Thankfully, no one is awake yet, but it’s still too early to be relieved. The walk to the Falcon is a bit of a risky one since they’d be out in the open. 

The sky is still drastically dark though, daylight is yet to come. 

“Can you walk? You’re quite heavy, if I’m being completely honest.” 

“So eager to keep me alone.” He gives her a wink before looking down at his own feet with confusion. “Trust me, sweetheart, I feel the same way, but you gotta help me here,” 

She sighed heavily before coming to his aid, keeping him grounded with one hand on his shoulder while he reacquainted himself with his left foot to his right. 

“You’re insufferable.” muttered Rey. 

“You like it.” quipped Ben without taking him a second to think that it took her off guard for a moment. 

When she glanced back at him, he still hadn’t strayed his gaze away from the ground, much to her annoyance and denial. 

“More like I tolerate it, which I shouldn’t.” She snorted pointedly. 

This is where he decided to look back at her, a knowing smile plastered across his face. 

“That’s not what the Force is telling me.” He even made the move to nudge her through their bond, as if coaxing her to concede, to give in. 

Rey froze with an audible gasp, cheeks heating up without her permission as she glared at him. 

“What did I say about exploiting the Force like that?!” 

He laughs at her reaction. Definitely not taking it as a threat like he should. 

“I should be sorry but it’s kinda your fault, to be honest.” 

“Excuse me?” She takes immediate offense. 

“You’re kinda cute when you get… All  _ feisty _ like that.” He concluded, exceeding confidence that wasn’t there before. “Makes me want to do it even more.” 

She really should be watching out for his tactlessness sometimes. Some of it was harder to deliberately ignore than others, and right now, she is bewildered, wondering why he would say something like that to her. 

Rey goes for a punch on his shoulder, if it means tampering her growing emotions and avoiding satisfying his cruel curiosity. 

“Stop it.” 

He winces as a reaction, rubbing at the soreness she left behind. 

“Ow! You pack quite a punch…” 

Thankfully, she didn’t have to go through burning through sheer embarrassment as the sight of the Falcon saved her. With a relieved exhale, she tried to tug at Ben to walk faster, however he was not in his best condition to have coordinated movements, though Rey remained very patient with him. 

As if Chewie knew this was going to happen this entire time, he left the decking ramp drawn out. It’s a lot less problem in her hands as they stumbled inside and she finally closed the opening behind them before heading to the direction of his quarters. 

When she pressed the blast door to slide open, switching the lights on, she’s a bit surprised to find the room in a neat and tidy condition, as if subjected to daily maintenance. She takes a moment to herself, seeing the folded sheets of the bed or the proper arrangement of books and a holopad on top of the desk. They may seem so little of importance, but to Rey, they were proof that Ben is here, will always be here. It’s like he had an entire place for himself, right where he belonged. 

With her. 

Her brain whispered to her out of nowhere. 

“Rey?” She comes back to herself with Ben giving her such a concerned look. He clasps a hand around her forearm. “What’s wrong?” 

It’s probably silly how she’s still not used to Ben’s existence outside the verge of war and terror and being on different sides. Weeks already passed and the sight of his calligraphy pens in a holder on his desk makes her stomach twist into knots. 

She blinks back the unshed tears in her eyes. She was just glad. So glad… 

“Nothing.” She yanks the blanket off to the side with an effortless nudge of the Force before depositing Ben to sit on the edge of the bed. 

He doesn’t look convinced, but he smartly doesn’t make the move to ask again either. Instead, he focused on kicking his shoes off, struggling in the process. 

“Here. Let me.” She doesn’t wait for his permission when she knelt on the floor in front of him. “You should take a shower first.” 

His frown deepened. 

“Can you help me? I’m very useless right now.” 

She sets his shoes aside before giving him a hard stare. 

“Is this just an elaborate plan of yours for me to undress you?” She’s not entirely convinced about how clear his intentions were, even when he showed how he almost got stuck from the collar of his tunic. 

He dropped his hands to his sides, giving up completely. 

“Sweetheart, you think so lowly of me. What do you take me for?” Faux hurt laces with the remaining playfulness in his tone. He’s still drunk, of course he isn’t done messing with her. 

She was right after all. 

Ben is still being outright assertive, somewhere along the middle, he’s also being whiny. In this case, it has something to do with his clothes. 

She crossed her arms over her chest as she stood up with her full height. 

“Right now, an exhibitionist.” She retorted dismissively. 

He chuckles. “You and your smart mouth.” 

Okay. Clearly, they weren’t getting anywhere if she entertained this directionless conversation. She gestured her head towards the refresher as she looked down at him. 

“Look, do you want to take a shower or not? Because if you’d rather just rest, I’m ready to head out—“ 

“NO!” 

Rey jumped at how strongly he reacted, immediately dropping the coy act. She notes the shift through him, how abruptly his mind revolted at the idea. 

“I’m…” He swallows through his thickening tongue before grappling for her waist, keeping her in his hold as he plants his face over her abdomen. 

Surprised by the reaction, she tensed when his grip tightened as if she’d vanish if his strength wavered. But then soon enough, she felt a bit of wetness seeping through her shirt and immediately, her heart ached. 

He’s troubled. Suddenly breaking. 

“... Ben?” She whispered. 

Slowly, he raised his head, tears streaming down his face as he sniffled loudly. It’s easy to forget that she was being dismissive and frustrated at him whenever he showed this vulnerable side. How quickly Rey turns into a woman enraptured by a man who cries and yearns for her. 

She wipes his tears away with her thumbs. 

“Don’t leave me. Please…. Not again.” He spoke up softly, begging. 

While a large part of her turned into mush for him, she gets perplexed by his last few words. Because she can’t seem to understand what she meant by leaving again, unless he was talking about the time she slept on his bed and left early to help her friends. That’s really all she could think of. 

“Again?” She had to ask. 

Ben shakes his head profusely, nuzzling her stomach again, his words coming off a bit muffled but comprehensible. 

“I can’t take it, Rey. When you—when you didn’t take my hand. I did—I did want it to be just us. I could’ve ditched the galaxy if we had more time. I… Please, please. Don’t leave me like that again.” 

Rey swallowed hard, feeling like her chest was on fire. His heart ultimately yearned for her right here, right where he’s begging, even if he already had her. 

All his confident declarations to Poe were forgotten, suddenly, all he could recall is the heartbreak of being left behind in his own ship. She was in shambles too, surely, he must have felt it. But they weren’t thinking for themselves and opening that old wound brings back unwanted tightness of guilt and regrets in her chest. 

“Ben.”

There were tears in her eyes now too, both crying for what should have been. Maker, how foolish they were to avoid what has been festering between them since he took off his mask for her and since she saw his face for the first time. 

They were really foolish, but that can change now. She can stay if he wants her to, for as long as he wants her. 

“I promise. I’ll stay. I’ll stay with you.” 

Her reassurance is simple, but what came with it felt intense and strong. She smiles lovingly, running her hand through his damp hair as he closed his eyes and basked in her affection, as small as it seemed. To Ben, it means his entire world. 

He smiles back as a direct response, thrilled and relief flowing through him like a river. 

However, before he could say anything or at least she thought he was going to say something, his whole expression sours into a pained grimace. Before she knows it, her shirt gets wet for a different reason and Ben is dry heaving with his entire guts. 

The moment easily breaks as soon as the scent of acid and vomit hits her nostrils, and all she could do is hold his hair back and rub his back soothingly, while he kept going, all out of his control. 

It became a lot easier from here, much to her surprise. Ben wordlessly followed her orders as her efficiency kicked in. She helps him out of his clothes, save for his underwear before heading to the refresher. That took a bit more reassuring on her part, but she was able to clean up the floor and change into one of his tunics as soon as he got out, fresh and ready for bed. 

She was already on her side with the blanket drawn to her lap and something about it made him misty-eyed as he crawled over to occupy the space right beside her. Ben chose to face her, shameless at giving all his love and attention, reflected through his soft gaze. 

They don’t need the words right now, just their fingers intertwined between them was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> Sorry if this took so long! I got caught up with a bunch of things and I somewhat struggled with certain parts, hopefully this is enjoyable enough😊😊Flirty Ben is just loads of fun to write and I’m glad you most have similar opinions on what his drunk personality is. I’m glad!! (Also just a headcanon of mine that Ben is the type to declare love while drunk lol sorry if it’s OOC or something kcdjjs)
> 
> Next update they’re going to have a fun “conversation”😏😏I’ll try not to take too long to write it, but you know what’s coming!! 
> 
> See you soon!


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